L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Chapter 15:~Your Dream Will Be Your Nightmare, Eventually~

Hyde took Tetsu’s cell phone and called Ken.

"Ahh... moshi, moshi..."

"Ken-chan!"

"Haido-kun?"

"Un, ore no neko ha doko?" (Yes, where is my cat?)

"Can’t you say ‘hi, Ken, how are you’?"

"Hi-Ken-how-are-you-where-is-my-cat."

"I’ll take it to your place tomorrow, now I’m busy."

"Dame! Chotto! I’m at Tetsu’s place."

"Yoshi. Get screwed and let me screw in peace." Ken hung up.

"Huh?... How rude..." Hyde thought staring at the cell phone. "This will not end like this!" He said and dialed again.

"Ken-chan?"

"Haido? What now??!!"

"You are getting screwed? Hontou?"

"Fuck it!!! Dammit!!! You are bored or what?!!"

"Yeah, I’m bored. Why is Tetsu locked inside the studio?"

"AND WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW???!!! Probably he’s scared of you!"

"Hontou? Why?"

"Listen, Haido, I’m busy here... I’m with someone... can you call later... like in a year or so...?"

"Huh? No, I am more important than she is! Tell me what you and Tet-chan are scheming!"

"In the first place, you are not more important than my daily sex. In the second place, I cannot possibly know what the hell is going through the fearless leader’s fucked up head, and in the third place, stop calling or I’ll throw your cat under a bus!"

"Waaaaa!!! Ken-chan warui!!!!!! Don’t do that to my poor kitty!!! Wait... you can do that to anyone but a cat... I shouldn’t worry."

"Haido... why don’t you try to get laid instead of annoying me?"

"Well... you see... I know you two are up to something... and Tet-chan will take forever until he decides to have sex with me... he’s just pretending he likes me."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I’m not THAT stupid."

"You are, my friend, you really are..." Ken hung up.

"Oiii" Hyde was annoyed. He called again, and the phone gave him the busy tone. "That baka is doing this on purpose! Because I caught them! OK, I’ll play along! I’m not gonna be their victim. Rather, they’ll be mine."

Hyde went into the kitchen and pulled out a box of ramen. He didn’t feel like cooking again.

Tetsu took a long time in the studio. Hyde was pacing up and down the living room and felt uncomfortable, nervous and bored.

"Why am I so distressed? I should be depressed not distressed! Why am I feeling like this...? Hai. I remember. Because I’m tricking Tet-chan... I should be tricking Ken-chan who sure made up this scheme instead! But the silly head won’t hang the telephone back!"

After over an hour, Tetsu walked out of the studio.

"Haido, we have to talk."

"OK."

"Come to the studio."

"You are dumping me?"

"No. This is serious. Please, come to the studio."

"Un."

Tetsu closed the door behind them and asked Hyde to sit down.

"You see Haido, Sakura is not our drummer any more. We have to either split the band or take in another drummer. I think the latter is the best option."

"OK. You are the leader." Hyde answered leaning back on the big armchair and crossing his right leg over the left one.

"I’ve already talked to someone."

"Oh. You don’t waste your time..." Hyde commented bitterly. Tetsu knew this would happen.

"I knew you would be sore, but I guess you don’t want to go back to working at Mister Donut, do you?"

"What makes you think that is my only option? I can sing for any band! I bet all Japanese bands would fight to have me as a vocalist. Some of them would even let me play guitar too. I can also go solo."

"Well, that’s true. So, you are saying you want to leave L’Arc en ciel too?"

"Uun. Chigau." Hyde shook his head.

"OK. Then, this person, Yukihiro-san, will be our drummer from now on."

"Oh... I know him. From Danger Crue... remember? He’s a good drummer. And he replaced Sakura before, didn’t he?" Hyde said leaning a little forward and looking for his cigarette case inside his jeans’ rear pocket.

"Hai. That is all true. Sakura also recommended him."

"OK." Hyde took a cigarette in his hand and carelessly tapped it on the table, then lit it.

"I want to hear what you have to say about it."

"I said OK." Hyde took a long drag from his cigarette and then blew the smoke in circles while Tetsu stared at him carefully.

"I don’t want you to give him a rough time... He’s a professional, and a very good---"

"I won’t."

"You promise?"

"Why do I have to promise?"

"Because I’m nicely asking you to."

"But you don’t believe in my promises, so what’s the use?"

"True. But I can hold you to your word if you do promise."

"OK. I promise. Now, Tet-chan... I want to ask you something too."

"Yes?"

"Do you think I’m a shallow guy?"

"No, Haido."

"Say the truth. I won’t be mad. I really wanna stop this game."

"Sometimes you are... and sometimes you are just too sensitive... sometimes you are very silly too."

"Uh-huh. And you think I’ve only been obsessing over Sakura, you don’t think I ever loved him... right? You think I just felt flattered to be around him... had fun... enjoyed the attention... but that’s about it, right?"

"I never said that."

"But you think so."

"No, I don’t. I know you loved him. And I know you still have feelings for him."

"Then... tell me..." Hyde stood up and put out his cigarette on Tetsu’s desk, which caused Tetsu to start a mad protest, but Hyde interrupted him. "Why the fuck are you pulling out this stupid ‘I’ve-always-had-a-crush-on-you’ thing with me!?"

Tetsu was speechless.

"Tell me! Why are you doing this? You think my ego is sorer than my heart?! Or are your band-leader duties going this far?"

"No, Haido... I..."

"Then what!? Explain yourself!"

Tetsu took a long breath, and started.

"Because it is true, Haido... I guess this is all bad timing... but I said the truth. Rather, Ken said the truth and I confirmed it. I’ve always liked you... and my feelings for you are stronger than for anyone else. I won’t lie to you and tell you I love you madly, because I, myself, don’t know yet for sure. It’s not easy for me, but I must confess I used to have a big crush on you years ago..."

Hyde glared at Tetsu. He wanted to believe everything was as his friend said... but somehow he couldn’t. He couldn’t forgive himself for trying to trick Tetsu... and he couldn’t forget Sakura. He was bearing his marks all over his body. But in some way, he wished Tetsu were saying the truth... because he felt, deep inside, that Tetsu would always take care of him... if this was true.

Hyde looked away for an instant and then re-focused on Tetsu’s eyes.

"Very good, then. You’ve just earned yourself a roller-coaster ride with Haido. It can get bumpy, my friend... you better be prepared. Once your dream comes true, it might turn to be your worst nightmare."

"I know that, Haido." Tetsu gasped.

"I’ll see that you get what you’ve been craving for. Fearless leader." Hyde answered and walked out of the room.

"Why these mood swings...?" Tetsu wondered shaking his head.

Tetsu was left to meditate alone in his studio, the blood was pounding in his temples and he had begun considering he actually didn’t love Hyde. Most likely, he felt sorry for him, and wanted to make him happy. It was a possibility... but then again, he wondered, why did he feel so excited around him? Why was he getting so aroused to hold Hyde in his arms...? Why couldn’t he have waited...?

"Maybe this is all as Ken had suggested..." Tetsu thought. "Maybe it’s just that he is so damned sexy everyone gets turned on by him... but... I don’t know if this is real love..." He shook his head. "What’s the matter with me?! I like girls, he is a guy!" The images of Hyde stretching on his bed and asking him to take him suddenly popped up in his head.

"No, no, no! Go away!" Tetsu shook his head. "That won’t happen! Haido is just sore and he feels lonely... he doesn’t feel anything for me... and I mustn’t feel that way for him!" Tetsu said aloud, without noticing.

Hyde was standing outside the door; he had lit another cigarette, and was smoking it slowly.

"What a mess, Tet-chan..." Hyde thought. "You don’t know what you want, and me neither..."

He scratched his forehead with his thumb while holding the cigarette.

"Is it true...? Was Sakura right when he said we stopped loving each other long ago...?"

He sighed and inhaled again.

"Why am I feeling so sad, ne? For Sakura? For myself? Or for you, Tet-chan...?"