L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Hyde began sneezing behind his mouth cloth as the smell of fish attracted the cat towards the kitchen.

"See? I know exactly what you do! Stay away from the kitchen. I’m cooking. And I don’t give fucking cooking shows!"

The cat meowed and rubbed its back against Hyde’s legs.

"Oh... you mushy thing... you start resembling your adoptive parent." Hyde laughed. "I’d love to have someone to do that to..." He chuckled softly. "Sa... I won’t let you get married until you come of age." He began in a funny falsetto as he washed some more vegetables and put them inside the boiling pot. The cat jumped on the small kitchen table where Hyde was keeping the fish.

"Oh, no! Get out! You don’t have any manners? Get out!" He suddenly pushed the cat to the corner of the table causing it to fall and meow loudly as its four legs hit the ground.

Hyde was startled, and he left the food to crouch and examine the cat. Even if he knew it wasn’t likely that it had gotten hurt.

"I’m sorry... I just... I’m sorry... I’m taking it out on you... and... nothing of this is your fault, ne..." He picked up the cat and for the first time he didn’t sneeze, even if he could feel the fit coming.

He brought the cat closer to him and hugging it he kissed the top of its head. "Sorry kitty. You will have to wait for... say... 15 minutes. It’ll be done in that time." Hyde said softly, and he sat on the floor and started to cry.

"You are not being mean or anything. You are actually cute, but me... I’m just... such a waste... these days..."

Hyde cried silently, sitting on the floor holding his knees in his arms. "You know, kitty? I actually thought Sakura and I would be together forever... I ... love him, I still do. I miss him. But I also hate him. What he did to me is... awful... you know? But then again... Why would he care about me...? I did so many wrong things... I ain’t no angel... and besides I... I never even... did tell him I loved him... I... I..." Hyde babbled in tears.

"I just went along with the game. I played it. I enjoyed it... Maybe... if I had told him how I love him, he would have called... or... wanted to see me... or... maybe he would... think of me as... more than an adventure... But... it is my fault... and he... he forgot about me, I’m sure... but I... I can’t forget him, I just can’t.

And now everyone runs from me, cuz even Ken and Tetsu think I’m a pervert and that... I’m crazy." Hyde’s sobbing was louder.

"... And... that maybe all the posing and stuff I used to do for the band... they must be thinking it got to my head... and..." His sneezing and sobbing made him pause. "And then they don’t call me or visit me... they don’t care anymore. I thought they were my friends. I always thought of them as family... I’ve come to see, I’m just... only a piece in the band."

Hyde snatched the cat and hugged it tightly, sneezing profusely and scaring the poor animal. His tears and his allergy had made him forget about the meal he was preparing, and suddenly the smell of something burning made him get up and put down the fire. He washed his hands, chopped the fish and gave half of it to the cat. Then put the rest of the food inside a hermetic box and pushed it inside the refrigerator.

"Just, leave the dishes to me, don’t bother washing up." He tried to lighten the mood with sarcasm as he turned off the music. Then, he walked to the bedroom, closed the door and windows, and taking off his clothes, he got into bed.

"Good night, world." He said between sobs, in broad daylight.

He wrapped himself with the soft silk sheets and the warm blanket, curled into a ball snatching a pillow and pulling it against his stomach.

Slowly he gave in to a light slumber, yearning to go back to his dream world.

The stray cat finished its meal and headed for the dining room, jumped into his already favorite spot on the couch and fell asleep.

Over two hours passed and both inhabitants of the now silent house, were sound asleep.

Suddenly the bell rang, causing the kitten to jump and meow loudly. The bell rang again. A minute passed and the bell started ringing desperately. The cat jumped from the couch and hit the door meowing.

"Good Cat." Hyde said, walking awkwardly from the bedroom, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "You are beginning to justify your presence, ne...? Afraid I might throw you away?" He laughed bitterly and sneezed.

Hyde stood behind the door and asked in an upset tone. "What?!"

"Oh, you are ever so sweet to visitors!" The voice behind the door answered.

"Tetsu??" Hyde thought to himself, and he sneezed again.

"What, Tetsu?!" Hyde answered.

"Yeah, definitely Haido." Tetsu thought. "Well... open the stupid door!" he yelled.

"What for?"

Tetsu rolled his eyes already annoyed. "To let me in, you baka!"

"Ah. Hmm... OK." Hyde opened the door reluctantly.

"Doiha-chan." Tetsu smiled moving forwards to hug Hyde, but Hyde turned his back and slowly walked inside the house. It was not like Hyde to refuse a hug, usually he was the one hugging everyone and smiling.

The cat meowed from the floor as Hyde frantically looked for another pack of Kleenex.

"A cat?" Tetsu asked amazed while he removed his shoes.

"Yeah, you can tell it’s not an elephant..." Hyde retorted acidly.

"Oh, I can see that. I thought you were allergic to cats..."

"I am."

"Oh, that sure explains why the cat is here".

"Self torture."

Tetsu walked in following Hyde and took the cat in his arms. The cat purred comfortably.

"Oh?" Hyde turned and watched the cat fiercely. "Why are you so friendly to him? You don’t even know him!" He yelled furiously.

"Uh... Haido... it’s only a cat... why can’t I be friendly to a cat?"

"I’m talking to the cat!" Hyde bellowed.

"Oh... sure... You are in the perfect state of mind." Tetsu looked up frowning concerned.

"Huh?" Hyde stared at Tetsu. "Me or the cat?"

"Uh... both..."

"Oh... I’m fine. Want some coffee?"

"Oh, that’d be nice of you. Thanks" Tetsu smiled.

"No problem."

Hyde went into the kitchen to make some coffee. Tetsu put the cat back on the couch and followed Hyde.

"Didn’t you hear my messages?" Tetsu asked casually.

"What messages? Nobody called me. Seems I don’t exist anymore!" Hyde snapped bitterly.

Tetsu caught the un-subtle nagging he was getting from Hyde and tried to answer in a soothing tone.

"Well, I called you three times today. You don’t check your answering machine?"

"Uh, I forgot."

"I see."

Hyde sat on a chair by the kitchen table watching Tetsu. The silence between them was uncomfortable. The smaller man’s stare was definitely upsetting.

"Why the umbrella?" Hyde asked suddenly.

"They said it would rain earlier today and now..."

"Oh, come on! The sun is shining." Hyde interrupted unaware of the clouds outside.

"So... Doiha-chan, how are you after all this time?" Tetsu tried to change the pointless subject of the conversation. It was obvious that Hyde’s anger was making him contradict everything Tetsu would say.

"Oh?" Hyde answered scornfully.

"Come on." Tetsu smiled.

"You mean... who? The successful vocalist ‘Hyde’ or Hideto the stupid perverted guy that ruined you and your band by falling in love with a drug addict?"

"This will be tough." Tetsu thought to himself. "Maybe Ken was right. He needs to be babysat."

"Well, Hideto, I mean both: ‘Hyde’ the ‘successful vocalist’ and Hideto my friend."

"Both are OK." Hyde answered turning his face from Tetsu and getting up to go to the boiling water and take it away from the fire in order to make the coffee.

"Can I talk to Hideto?"

"He’s busy."

"Can I talk to Hyde?"

"He’s busy too."

"Gee... sounds like they could be the same person..."

Hyde choked a laugh. "Well, could be." He replied. He didn’t want to laugh. He didn’t want to let Tetsu cheer him up.

"I thought you needed some time on your own... I guess I was wrong."

"Hmph." Hyde answered while pouring coffee into two cups. "Let’s go to the dining room."

Tetsu picked up his cup and the sugar bowl and followed Hyde into the dining room.

"Tell me how you have been..." Tetsu insisted softly.

"Rotten."

"Haido... Can you be a little more open?"

"No... not now."

"Please?"

Hyde sneezed and spilled some coffee on himself. He began protesting and Tetsu promptly handed him a napkin and watched him worriedly.

"What’s with the cat, Haido, you are VERY allergic to them."

"Well, the cat is the only one that cares about me. I can talk to him, go for a walk with him, have my meal with him... etc. etc. So I figured it’s a good thing I got it."

"But it’s bad for your health."

"Oh? So you are trying to tell me this is the first time I root for something that’s bad for me?" Hyde asked not wanting an answer.

"No. Actually... Looks like a pattern." Tetsu answered sipping from his coffee.

"Omae ga..." Hyde became red in anger. "Who are you to judge me?! You don’t know shit! Don’t come here to preach to me, cuz you know nothing about me or how I feel! It must be great to be in your fucking position, standing there so clean, so immaculate and perfect, and judging me, going ‘Haido is a pervert, Haido is wrong’ not having the slightest idea of what kind of hell I’m in... cuz, yeah... how simple it is for you! How easy! You just point at me with your accusing finger and say ‘Haido, wrong.’ " Hyde yelled as tears flooded his eyes.

"Haido... I know how you feel. I’m not accusing you or judging you or anything like that. It’s too bad to lose someone you love. I’m not a kid. I know how it feels... I know you loved him."

"You just come here to say ‘I told you’. You just came here to show me off how you are so perfect and how I am so fucking stupid! You know what? I don’t need that crap!! If it makes you feel powerful and great, then good for you, but I won’t let you have your fun out of my pain!!" Hyde bellowed frantically and Tetsu rapidly left his cup of coffee on the table and tried to hold Hyde’s trembling hands.

"It’s not so, Haido... I’m your friend. I came here to..."

"Some friend! Some fucking friend! I got more support from a kid in the park than I ever did from you!" Hyde went on yelling and pointed at Tetsu with a trembling finger.

"Haido... You told a kid in the park about your relationship with Sakura?!" Tetsu almost choked as he finally managed to grab Hyde’s hands.

"So what if I did?" Hyde screamed.

"Are you crazy?" Tetsu looked at him as if his eyes were about to pop out of their orbits.

"Ever thought I might want to talk about it with someone? I mean, minus the preaching."

"Ne... When did I preach to you? Huh? Why don’t you stop to think for a moment? I never did that. You want to talk, well, that’s why I’m here..." Tetsu replied in a matter of fact way.

"Well, too late...!" Hyde howled.

"You actually told a child in the park that you were sleeping with another man?"

"Uh... no..." Hyde blushed. He didn’t expect Tetsu to be so straightforward.

"Ahhh..." Tetsu sighed relieved. "You know the press people are out there disguised as just anything trying to pick up information..."

"They can’t disguise as a 10 year-old that well... I mean 12 year-old... uh... 12 and a half. Whatever."

"They might use that little boy to get information out of you."

"It was a girl."

"Girl, boy, never mind. The point is..."

"The point is, she supported me, and you and Ken didn’t." Hyde interrupted smirking accusingly.

"Really? What did she say to you? ‘I’ll be your girlfriend’?" Tetsu smirked back in the same way.

"Uh..." Hyde looked at him amazed. "Uh, yeah, basically."

Tetsu laughed out loud. "You can’t do that, you know..." he snapped.

"Well, I might just wait for her to be 18. Besides, she was cute and..."

"You’d still be over 15 years older than her..." Tetsu pointed out.

"Fine. I look younger. And you start sounding like my mother."

Tetsu stood up and left the cup of coffee on the small table in front of them. He walked around the small velvety couch Hyde was sitting in and threw his arms around him from behind, his left arm hanging loosely over the smaller man’s chest and his right hand playfully began messing Hyde’s hair while he mocked a mother voice.

"Oh, dear sonny... you never seem to choose your lovers wisely... let mamma pick a girl for you." He teased Hyde.

"Hmm?" Tetsu insisted. "Your friend Tetsu came here because he loves you, he cares about you, and he wants you to be happy again. Why aren’t you a little more friendly with him?"

Hyde laughed wearily, and decided to go on with the joke. Tetsu had that power in him. Hyde could never be too mad at his sweet friend... nor for too long.

"Well, you are right, mom... Tetsu is being nice... if he tries to preach I’ll slaughter him. And about lovers, I think I will start living with Blue-chan now." Hyde relented.

"Blue-chan?"

"The cat."

"Oh, but it’s a male cat..."

"I know... but can pass for a female..."

"I expected you to give me human grandchildren." Tetsu chuckled and shook Hyde softly.

"Well, mom... you can’t always get it all..." Hyde answered wearily again.

"Cats make rough lovers, sonny..." Tetsu answered playfully, then suddenly he realized about the implications of what he was saying and stopped.

"It’s OK, mama." Hyde answered in a more serious tone. "I won’t ever let anyone hurt me like before." He said and sneezed. Tetsu watched him sink in his couch and hugged him tightly from behind.

"It’s all my fault, Doiha-chan." Tetsu whispered guiltily to Hyde’s ear, Hyde swallowed a big lump in his throat and turning he hugged Tetsu back.

"I should have never allowed that relationship... I should have stopped you while I could. And I should have never thought you needed such a long time alone." Tetsu continued.

"It’s OK, now, Tetsu. I’m not a kid. Thanks for coming to see me."

Tetsu loosened his grip on Hyde, and looked into his eyes. Then he caressed the smaller man’s head, and as Hyde tried to look down, Tetsu lifted his chin with two of his fingers.

"Man, you are feeling bad..." Tetsu said worriedly.

"Yeah. Very." Hyde mumbled.

"We are not mad at you... not me nor Ken. We love you, and we think you did the right thing, Haido."

"Th...thanks."

"We want you back. We want you to be your old happy self again."

"That might not happen... for a while... long while."

"We will support you... I mean... better than we have so far..."

"Thanks, Tet-chan."

"Oh, that’s good... I’m Tet-chan again!" Tetsu smiled warmly.

"Yeah." Hyde smiled back sadly while Tetsu held him in his arms again and rubbed his back.

"I miss him..." Hyde mumbled unable to keep holding his feelings inside him.

"I know..." Tetsu answered in the same tone of voice, without stopping rubbing his friend’s back.

"It hurts... sometimes at night... I think about it, I re-go everything in my mind, and I realize I can forgive him, I think... this is all my fault..."

"Come on, Haido! How could it possibly be your fault?!"

"Because... of many things... and besides I... I never told him that I love him... if I had... maybe... he would have stopped... and taken me seriously... perhaps..."

"Don’t tease yourself into thinking that. Sakura wouldn’t have stopped his fucked up way of life no matter what you told him... besides... I thought you had told him that you loved him many, many times!" Tetsu spoke calmly drawing a loose strand of hair away from Hyde’s forehead.

"Uh. No, I didn’t. Just... went on with it... but never actually said "I love you" to him." Hyde muttered, his voice tinged of sorrow.

"Anyway it wouldn’t have made a difference, Doiha-chan." Tetsu whispered slowly and softly, trying to comfort him.

"Well, we’ll never know..." Hyde smirked bitterly and looked down. He could feels his eyelids becoming heavy.

"Believe me, Doiha-chan." Tetsu said softly and squeezed him a little tighter.

Hyde couldn’t hold the tears anymore, and he started to weep silently. Suddenly he threw himself against Tetsu’s chest and hugged him again closing his fists tightly on his back, and clutching the slim bassist’s shirt he cried openly on his shoulder. His small chest moved convulsively as he cried without consolation muffling his wailing against his friend’s shoulder, letting out all the pain and frustration in a raspy, throaty howl.

Tetsu stroked his back affectionately, comforting him and lulling soothing words against Hyde’s messy hair. His lips brushing the entwined tresses of soft brown silk in the smaller man’s head, whispering softly. His arms around the small-framed vocalist trying to hold him tightly against his body and protect him from anything whatsoever that could pose any threat, of any kind to his friend’s well-being... And they stayed in that position, like stopped in time, for over an hour.

Outside the rain had begun to pour down heavily, lashing down the large windowpanes in Hyde’s dining room... as if the sky were feeling some sort of empathy for Hyde’s torn soul.