L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Chapter 3: ~Help me! I have to see him again!~

Hyde slowly calmed down and his weeping gradually decreased. His former howls of pain progressively turned into soft sorrowful sobs.

Tetsu kept holding him in a tight embrace. Of all the people he knew in this world Hyde was the most special one to him. His suffering made Tetsu hurt, and he was fighting a hard battle within himself to keep his own empathic tears at bay. If he cried then he wouldn’t be of any help to Hyde.

"Tet-chan... You know his new phone number... right?" Hyde mumbled barely audibly in a very low pitched voice.

"Can I talk to him, please, Tet-chan?" Hyde suddenly begged between sobs. "Please, please... can I talk to him? I need to. Maybe if I tell him how I love him, he will change and come back to me... please?"

"No, you can’t." Tetsu relented still stroking Hyde’s head.

"Please!! Maybe it’s not too late! Maybe I still have a..."

"You can’t, Doiha-chan."

"...chance..."

Hyde made a fist and crying he softly hit Tetsu on the chest, not much strength was left in him after having cried for more than an hour.

"Please!! Please!! You know where he is! Please, tell me!! I have to talk to him! He is no longer at rehab!"

"Hideto, you can’t! Sakura doesn’t want to see you or talk to you! Can’t you see?"

"No!! That’s what you say! Because you don’t know him as well as I do. He did tell me he loved me... many times... He did! He did! Please, Tet-chan! I have to talk to him once again. I have to tell him!!" Hyde couldn’t make sense out of his words, and cried like a child on Tetsu’s shoulder.

"Please..." Hyde begged in a low, tired voice.

"Listen, Haido, what you are saying is nonsense. Sakura needs time to re-think about what he’s done. He has done great harm to his life. Not only to you, but also to himself." Tetsu tried to soothe Hyde and reason with him.

"I beg you... I’ll get down on my knees and beg, Tet-chan..." Hyde moaned supplicant.

"Haido... listen, I’ll do this: I still have matters to discuss with Sakura, matters connected to the band. I will get you two an appointment, but I will be there, and Ken too."

"No. I need... to speak to him alone, in private..." Hyde begged.

"No. We have enough pressure from the press trying to catch you two making out. If there’s gonna be a meeting, it will be a group meeting. Otherwise it’s nothing." Tetsu stated firmly.

Hyde didn’t say a word for a while. His mind was too cluttered to think fast, his heart was taking over his logic. He sobbed and pulled his head off Tetsu’s shoulder.

"OK." He finally agreed reluctantly.

"I was actually thinking of inviting you over for dinner, if you want to. So that we can both have some friendly time and..." Tetsu smiled and tried to change the subject.

"That’d be a perfect chance to have a talk with Sakura!" Hyde pushed. "If you can contact him, then... nobody would suspect!"

"Uh... Maybe." Tetsu answered in a serious tone. Hyde had always been very pushy.

"I mean, it’d be a good chance, cuz it’s your place, so it’s neutral, and you can ask Ken to come too... and ... Have the meeting! Besides, your place is big, so Sakura and I can talk privately in some room, and..."

"You are scheming of having sex with your ex boyfriend in my place?!" Tetsu broke the embrace angrily.

"No!" Hyde blushed. "No, Tet-chan... I just gotta talk to him... in private... please..." Hyde grabbed Tetsu’s shirt with his both hands and pulled from it.

"You won’t get the bedroom." Tetsu warned.

"OK." Hyde tried to calm him down and nodded. He was uncertain of how Tetsu would react towards the situation.

"And I’ll be knocking on the door every 5 minutes." Tetsu narrowed his eyes and pointed at him with his index finger in a threatening way.

"Yes, mom." Hyde nodded fast, teasing Tetsu, and smiling behind his tears.

"And I don’t know why I let you drag me into your crazy schemes." Tetsu exclaimed throwing his arms to the air.

"Because you love me, Tet-chan!" Hyde changed his mood in an instant, smiling and hugging Tetsu tightly.

"Yeah, I guess I must reeeaaally really like you, to let you pull this out." Tetsu added making a worried face to Hyde, who hugged him again and standing on his tiptoes kissed his forehead. Then he released and looking at Tetsu’s eyes he commented eagerly:

"Yeah, you do. I should have dated you instead of Sakura." Hyde stopped, and lifted his head opening his eyes wide and staring into Tetsu’s.

"I... I am kidding... I’m not making a move on you..." He explained.

"I know, Haido." Tetsu answered embarrassed and looked away.

"Uh..." Hyde began and suddenly had another fit of sneezes. "I think I must take the medicine again..." He said as he walked towards the kitchen to fetch the medicine from the cupboard. "You make yourself at ease, Tet-chan! I’ll be right back."

"OK. Haido." Tetsu said as he picked the cat carefully and caressed it. "You know, kitty... or... Blue... your master is a weird guy... He can change from total darkness to bright shine at the snap of a finger."

The cat looked at him and rubbed his head against Tetsu’s chest.

"I bet you already noticed." Tetsu sighed. He had the worst feeling about the turn things were turning, and to make it worse, he was feeling angry at himself for letting Hyde push him around like a toy.

"I must be doing this out of pity..." Tetsu thought... "Or out of stupidity..."

Hyde walked hastily from the kitchen to the bedroom. He was hyperactive and nervous. His voice trembled and he couldn’t stop blinking or moving his hands.

"Stay here, Tet-chan, don’t go home yet. I need your help. Uh, you can call Sakura from that phone there." He said pointing with a shaky finger. "But don’t go home yet... OK? Just don’t go home yet... you just..."

"I don’t have my phonebook here, Haido." Tetsu interrupted staring at him curiously.

"Oh." Hyde looked slightly disappointed.

"Oh, never mind" He shook his head and continued, picking on his hyperactive mood again. "Blue-chan and I are coming with you to your place, just wait, I gotta change my clothes... I need your advice."

"OK. Uh... YOU need advice? You? The guy that wears the same clothes for over a week?" Tetsu was truly surprised.

"Yeah, such a mean comment... And uh... you think Sakura will like my hair? I’ve chopped it out of anger... and it looks a lot different... and bad." Hyde asked running his fingers through his messy hair and pulling from the entangled strands lightly. He chuckled nervously.

"You are acting like a school girl, Haido." Tetsu stared at him amused.

"Hai, hai... wakatta... hahaha!" Hyde laughed excitedly and rushed to take the tray with the coffee cups to the kitchen, then he came back running.

"He doesn’t look like the same person, ne..." Tetsu commented to the cat. "More like twin Hydes... the psychotic one and the neurotic one..."

"I think I’ll even it out, and uh... maybe I’ll dye it..." Hyde commented while approaching Tetsu. He wriggled his hands eagerly.

"Haido... it’s 6 PM already." Tetsu tried to calm him down and took Hyde’s hands in his own. Hyde rapidly withdrew them.

"Oh, yeah, it’s kinda late... then, I’ll leave it the way it is, but I still need your advice on clothes." Hyde rattled on nervously biting his thumbnail and fidgeting lightly.

"Really? I mean..."

"Yeah, I’m not myself lately... I do need your advice. You know I wouldn’t ask for this to anyone else... but I trust you... and I know you like fashion and that..."

"Haido... Are you sure about this? I mean... You remember what happened that last night, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, Tetsu... everything will be fine. It was not his fault, he was too stoned to realize..."

"... Haido... you are in denial." Tetsu interrupted worriedly and took Hyde by the shoulders shaking him softly.

"Of course, not. Don’t make me waste any more time. Come here." Hyde ordered and taking Tetsu’s hand he pulled from it dragging the slim bassist along into the bedroom.

"What?"

"To the bedroom... Hey! Tetsu, daijobu... I’m not gonna do anything funny to you, OK? I just need your help in choosing clothes."

"Yeah, I know... but..." Tetsu felt a little uneasy, but reluctantly followed Hyde.

"Help me here." Hyde said, and opened his closet, which was about to burst from all the garments he had carelessly stashed in there. Tetsu frowned at the sight. Not only was it messy, but also disgustingly kept. Dirty clothes mixed with clean ones, shirts made into a ball resting on top of carelessly folded jeans and unevenly colored socks.

"Help me pick up. I might wear this shirt." Hyde said pulling from a sleeve and pushing the rest of the gaudy mass inside with his right foot. "It’s cool cuz it’s all white and shiny." He said while putting the light silk and gauze shirt against his chest.

Tetsu felt like he could slap Hyde for his carelessness. "Uh... too flashy... it’s almost transparent." The slightly taller man relented between teeth.

"Oh? I thought it would do." Hyde said disappointed and made a ball with the shirt tossing it aside.

Tetsu held himself not to grab Hyde by the neck. "It won’t. This is not a concert..." He hissed.

"OK, never mind. Help me pick a straight white one." Hyde said fumbling inside the closet.

"You will need a sweater..." Tetsu said, while handing Hyde the only white cotton shirt hanging from one of the hangers.

"Yeah, I’ll take care of that later... now... I’m gonna try this one on." Hyde said as he took his T-shirt off.

"Wa...wait... Haido, don’t you want me to go out of the room while you do that...?"

"Uh? Why? You’ve seen me shirtless before... and I’m not trying to make a move on you! I told you that! I need your help!!"

"Oh, it’s not that... it’s only... some modesty would become you..."

Hyde took off his shirt without paying much attention to what Tetsu was saying and unbuttoned the cotton shirt while Tetsu protested.

"I think maybe cotton is boring, Tetsu... I need something to catch his eyes." Hyde said looking at himself in a mirror.

"You are skinnier..." Tetsu commented. "...and could use some deodorant..."

"Yeah, whatever. Focus on the clothes. I’m not gonna waste time by taking a shower now."

"It would do you good... And you can catch his eyes in anything you wear. You are just too good looking."

"Uh... see? Now I should be worried about YOU trying to hit on me..." Hyde commented while putting on the cotton shirt. Tetsu blushed and looked away.

"There, how do I look, Tet-chan?" Hyde asked smiling nervously.

"You look... hmm... good." Tetsu said and shrugged.

"Good?!" Hyde asked anguished, looking into Tetsu’s eyes. "Fine." He added, took off the shirt and flung it towards the bed.

"Then, I’ll go by my instinct" he added. "You sure must have someone to pick up your clothes... cotton shirt... ‘good’..." Hyde rummaged.

"You want to talk to him or you want to hit on him?" Tetsu demanded crossing his arms over his chest.

"Aw... urusai..." Hyde said while pulling from a tank top out of the closet and putting it over his torso.

"Needs ironing..." Tetsu commented harshly.

Hyde looked up. "Kuso..." Hyde snapped. "Ne, I won’t hit on him. I won’t make out at your place, I promise."

"I’m favoring a ‘gay-lovers-makeup-meeting’, good Lord..." Tetsu threw his arms in the air and turned from Hyde.

"No, no, no!" Hyde followed him and shoved the tank top on the bed remembering he had never bought an iron. "It’s not like that! Tet-chan!!"

Tetsu didn’t answer and kept walking.

"OK. Tetsu, look. I’ll wear anything you choose. I’ll follow your advice. Just don’t dress me like an old man..." Hyde pleaded clinging to Tetsu’s arm.

Tetsu turned and looked at the small and desperate man standing behind him half-naked.

"OK, Haido. You just put on the cotton shirt, a pair of jeans, a sweater, and decent shoes."

"No heels?"

"No."

"Why? You always wear those platforms..." Hyde pointed at Tetsu’s bare feet.

"I’m not meeting any ‘boyfriend’ at a friend’s place."

"Hmph... OK."

Hyde went back into the bedroom and put on the cotton shirt. He took off his pajama pants and picked a pair of tight black jeans, two white socks that didn’t quite look like they belonged together and doc martens.

"Now? How do I look?" Hyde asked eagerly.

"For once you look like a normal guy. Except for the tight jeans, but being you, I guess it’s fine."

"He he he..." Hyde smiled mischievously. "Oh, Wait!!"

"Now what?" Tetsu asked almost loosing his patience.

"Clean underwear!" Hyde said and snapped his fingers.

"Sakura will never get anywhere close to your underwear in MY PLACE!!" Tetsu yelled and stormed towards Hyde.

"I ... I... know... but... but... I just... feel better in it..." Hyde pleaded retreating.

"It’s late, Haido, pick up a sweater and grab your coat."

"Just five minutes... please?" Hyde pleaded.

"You are worse than a girl when it comes to dressing..." Tetsu protested rolling his eyes.

"I’m better when it comes to undressing..." Hyde stopped and took his hand to his mouth. "It was a joke... it was a very bad joke... I’m sorry..."

"Yeah." Tetsu sighed and looked away.

Hyde rushed into the room and took off his jeans and underwear, then he started browsing in the drawers... Tetsu was standing outside, in the dining room staring at his watch. It was almost eight o’clock.

"Haido, if you don’t come out at the count of ten, I’m going out."

"Nooo!!! Just wait a second! I gotta find that pair of boxers my mom sent me last month!"

"Haido!!!!" Tetsu rolled his eyes extremely weary at the situation. He wasn’t amazed that Hyde’s mother was sending him underwear. She surely knew him well, and he was absolutely careless with clothes.

"Oh, come on! It won’t hurt to have me change that!" Hyde protested browsing frantically and flinging all sorts of garments around the room.

Tetsu entered the bedroom in a storm intending to take Hyde by the shoulders and push him out, but the sudden view of the short vocalist naked stretching to browse the upper shelves in desperate search of the package his mother had sent him shocked him.

"It will only take a few minutes... Tet..." Hyde suddenly realized Tetsu was in the room, and rapidly turned his back at him blushing and covering himself shyly with his hands.

"It... it means nothing... I didn’t do it on purpose..." Hyde started. "Why did you come in so suddenly??"

"It’s not like you’ve flashed me something that was a complete secret to me, Haido, now, I’m tired of this, get dressed now!"

"Here it is!" Hyde exclaimed catching sight of a package wrapped in striped paper at the bottom of the closet, and hugged it tightly, turning to smile at Tetsu.

"Put it on already!" Tetsu ordered frowning. The sight of Hyde standing in front of him, hugging a parcel and smiling sweetly was truly disturbing.

"Hai, hai..." Hyde obeyed.

"... Haido..."

"Huh?"

"Pull the stickers off..." Tetsu rolled his eyes.

"Ohhh, hai, hai! I forgot... hahaha!"

"Hmph."

"You are so strict, Tet-chan!" Hyde commented chuckling.

"And you are such a baka..."

"Now I feel good, in my new, clean underwear." Hyde said smiling as he put his jeans back on. He took his boots in his left hand and pulled a golden sweater with the right hand, kicking the rest of the heap inside and closing the closet door rapidly.

"Put on the sweater." Tetsu ordered.

"Uh... yeah, Oh, I need a scarf to match the sweater... and I think I’ll wear the long black coat instead of the brown one..."

Tetsu pushed him out of the room while Hyde protested. The bassist opened the closet rapidly, he pulled a white scarf out, and closed the bedroom door behind him.

"I need a handkerchief! Wait!"

"Use your Kleenex." Tetsu said while still dragging Hyde.

"Noo!! Wait... just a handkerchief... and gloves."

"It’s not that cold"

"My hands get cold!" Hyde protested.

"Well, put them in your pockets!"

"No. Because you will think I’m touching myself..." Hyde said and stuck out his tongue.

"I don’t have such a bad image of you..."

"I might do it..." Hyde answered grinning mischievously.

"I might hit you..."

"And I might hit you back..."

"And I might not call Sakura..."

"OK." Hyde surrendered, put on his scarf and grabbed his coat.

"Blue-chan is coming with us."

"Grab your medicine then."

"Yeah, well... I need my strap bag, to carry everything."

"What’s everything?!"

"Uh... the cat, the medicine, the disk-man, cigarettes, lighter, sunglasses..."

"Sunglasses...? it’s dark already!"

"OK, no sunglasses, but yes the rest plus keys and wallet."

"OK, grab it already."

"Thanks." Hyde said smiling, and walked towards the bedroom.

"Oh... no... not there!" Said Tetsu holding Hyde by the shoulders, and pushing him back into the dining room. "Just where is it?" Tetsu demanded.

"On the chest... of drawers near the window." Hyde answered upset and walked towards the cat, which was sleeping on the couch.

"Come to mommy, you pest..." Hyde said amused while lifting the cat.

"Mommy??" Tetsu asked walking out of the bedroom with the strap bag in his hands.

"Hehehe... just joking... I knew you would react like that."

"You’d make a cute mommy, though." Tetsu answered giving Hyde the bag.

"I know..." Hyde replied while putting his stuff inside the bag. "Ja, Blue-chan, we’re gonna try to bring daddy back... and you know I’m saying this out loud because it makes Tet-chan mad..." he added naughtily looking at Tetsu.

"You have your car, Tet-chan?"

"Yeah."

"Cool." Hyde added sneezing. "You are such a great driver, Tet-chan. You could run F-1 anytime..."

"Just, just... stop flattering me, OK? It sounds so fake..." Tetsu protested irritated. He wondered why Hyde always had to be so weird.

"Uncle Tet-chan will take us to his place for dinner, Blue-chan."

"Hadn’t you called it ‘pest’ just a while back?"

"Yeah, Takarai Blue Pest. Blue-chan for short." Hyde said laughing nervously. In the back of his mind he knew he sounded stupid.

"OK, just calm down, and let’s go..." Tetsu sighed.

A few minutes later, they both entered the car. And Hyde put his bag on the rear seat.

"So?" Hyde demanded staring at Tetsu.

"Safety belt..." Tetsu mumbled looking wearily outside of the window.

"Oh... fine..."

"Now we can go."

"And you will call Sakura from your place?" Hyde asked eagerly.

"Un..."

"Like... In front of me?"

"Ja... now that you mention it, no, I’ll do it privately."

"Oh, come on, I won’t interrupt."

"I know you wont, you are a chicken deep inside."

"I’m not a chicken! I just... I am respectful, and won’t bother you..." Hyde rested his head on Tetsu’s arm. "Can I listen? I won’t talk..."

"Iie, you can’t."

"Oh, please..." Hyde insisted tugging from Tetsu’s arm.

"You can’t. And stop doing that while I drive."

"Daisuki, Tet-chan..." (I love you, Tet-chan) Hyde said smiling... "Uh... wait... uh... as a friend... or... a brother." He added.

"Yeah, I know..." Tetsu added looking into the rear view mirror. He could feel a rising emptiness above his stomach twisting and pulling from his heart. Driving would do him good... and stop the images of the past from parading in front of his eyes.

Hyde smiled and continued to rest his head on Tetsu’s arm, despite Tetsu’s constant whining about it.

The rain hit the windscreen relentlessly, and beyond the random shapes it formed before the sweeper would automatically clear them Tetsu remembered the events of the past. The time when he had had a strong crush on Hyde... The time he had been too shy, too irresolute to confess, and had thus lost him. The hard times trying to get over him, watching him enjoy his happy life with Sakura... watching Hyde smile while he was aching inside. It had taken him years to get over Hyde. Years, indeed.

And Hyde rattled on endlessly while Tetsu drove in silence. His words escaped the bassist’s ears almost instantly. He had always had Hyde close by, but had never actually had him. He had given up. He was over him, so why this feeling? Why this sensation of déjà vu? Why this oppression in his heart while he was driving Hyde to a meeting with the man that had years ago stolen him from Tetsu?

"I’m over him. It must be just worried about his well-being..." Tetsu explained to himself inside his head, and he kept driving while the murmur of Hyde’s eager and undying speech flooded the car.