L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Chapter 4 ~RSVP (Répondez s’il vous plait)~

Tetsu and Hyde reached Tetsu’s place amidst the ongoing rattling of Hyde’s hyperactive speech. Tetsu remained silent, partly because he was tired, partly because he was deeply sunk in his own thoughts and feelings, and partly because Hyde didn’t give him the opportunity to respond. Tetsu drove skillfully inside the garage below his building, he parked his car and after stopping the engine they both got out of the car.

Hyde grabbed the bag sneezing, and put the strap over his shoulder smiling eagerly.

"Kitty is putting on weight..." Hyde commented.

"Unlike its master." Tetsu added. "You are really skinnier than before, Haido... Have you been skipping on meals? That is so not you..." Tetsu commented while locking his car.

"Uh... I don’t remember... but I’m hungry now..." Hyde answered standing behind Tetsu.

"OK. I’ll give you two something to eat." Tetsu said smiling protectively. His smile had always been reassuring to all his band members.

"Where can I buy cat food, Tet-chan?" Hyde asked while they walked towards the elevator.

"Anou... There’s a store two blocks from here..." Tetsu spoke slowly. "You wanna go there now?"

"Yeah... No, I mean, I will leave the kitty and stuff at your place... and then go to buy the food. That will give you privacy to talk on the phone... See what a good boy I am?"

"Except you are a grown up man... yeah." Tetsu chuckled.

"Hehehe... You will reward me, right?" Hyde winked at Tetsu.

"Maybe." Tetsu winked back.

"Can I cook if Sakura comes?" Hyde asked eagerly.

"If you want to." Tetsu answered smiling.

"Yes! He always said he liked my cooking."

"We all do."

Hyde hugged Tetsu squeezing him. "Thank you, Tet-chan... Even if this doesn’t work, you know... I appreciate it... I appreciate it so much...!"

"I know you do, little one." Tetsu said patting Hyde’s head.

"Here, take the bag, I’ll go to the store to get the food." Hyde said as the elevator door swept open with a soft ruffling at the ground floor.

"You remember where the house is, right?" Tetsu couldn’t stop being concerned about everyone around him all the time.

"Of course!" Hyde answered in a matter-of-fact way.

"OK, just don’t get lost." Tetsu added staring at him while he tilted his head to one side and pursed his lips in preoccupation. He was still puzzled about Hyde’s sudden mood changes. He couldn’t help but wondering if his small friend was just acting or pushing himself beyond his depression.

"I promise." Hyde answered smiling sweetly. Then he turned on his heels and ran towards the direction Tetsu had pointed at him. The rain was becoming lighter.

Tetsu entered his house and put Hyde’s bag on a chest of drawers in the living room. He was glad to be back home. He took the kitten out of the bag and put it on the floor.

"Enjoy yourself, kitty." Tetsu said almost to himself. "Hyde’s place is a mess... He is usually a little sloppy, but he’s gone even beyond his limits... And this sudden thing of the cat... Why is he hurting himself like that...?"

Tetsu shook his head and sighing he walked over to his studio. He sat at his desk, turned on the light, put on his glasses and browsed through his phonebook. He would call Sakura first, to take advantage of the time Hyde had given him by going to buy cat food.

He unfolded a yellow piece of paper, where he had jotted down Sakura’s new phone number, and dialed. He waited while playing with a pen on the desk, after a few rings, a familiar voice answered.

"Moshi, moshi..."

"Sakura-kun?"

"Dare ka?"

"Tetsu da."

"Oh. Hi." Sakura greeted dryly.

"How are you?" Tetsu asked biting his lower lip in preoccupation, and having this feeling of "déjà-vu" after having to deal with Hyde’s bad temper earlier that day.

"Good."

"I’m glad." Tetsu answered calmly. "I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place..."

"What for...?" Sakura interrupted.

"To talk..."

"About what?"

"To have a friendly talk, with the guys and I..." Tetsu trailed off.

"What guys?" Sakura sounded wary.

"You know, Ken, me... uh... Haido..." Tetsu explained trying to sound casual.

"No, I can’t."

"Oh, come on."

"I’m busy."

"We have matters to discuss, remember? And besides, Haido really wants to see you..."

"I don’t wanna see him."

"Oh... that would break his heart, you know... he..."

"So be it." Sakura snapped.

"He’s suffering a lot..."

"Oh, sure... You think I’m in paradise here?"

"He misses you..."

"He called the cops."

"Well... you raped him, Sakura-kun..."

"He liked it."

"Wha...?? No... Obviously he didn’t."

"He liked it, and he called the cops because I was with a girl. Just out of jealousy."

"Well, he says otherwise..." Tetsu took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"Of course he does! He wouldn’t dare to admit the truth to you!"

"He has massacred his hair... lost weight..."

"So? How does this have anything to do with me? He’s a grown up man! I’m not his daddy!"

"He was so depressed today when I saw him... and after the idea of calling you came up... he totally changed. He even spent one hour choosing the right clothes to wear for his meeting with ‘you’, volunteered to cook, and even pulled out jokes..."

"See? He’s happy." Sakura snapped, his stare fixed on the ceiling.

"He’s happy because he thinks you will come, Sakura... before that, when I came to his place he was very depressed and even almost kicked me out. He has been crying and sobbing a lot... and sneezing..."

"Huh? Sneezing? Cold or allergy?"

"Well, he adopted a stray cat."

"Is he nuts?"

"I told you..."

"I really don’t care, Tetsu. If he wants to die from his allergy, so be it. Just leave me alone. We can talk at some other time."

"Sakura... tell me the truth. You realize you did rape him, don’t you?"

"It’s not your business!"

"It is..."

"What are you, his new boyfriend?"

"No, but I am his friend, and your friend."

"Oh? ... Right... dammit! Why am I wasting my time like this?"

"Because you know I’m right. And maybe because you still love Haido."

"I never loved him. He was fun to be with." Sakura yelled over the phone, cursing himself for being such a liar.

"Oh... I see... You remember or not, Sakura?"

"Yes, I do! And hell I enjoyed it all! And so did he!... Okay?" Sakura yelled over the phone in exasperation.

"No, Sakura... I mean... You remember how you two felt for each other long ago? I don’t mean only sex... just how you used to feel..."

Sakura stayed silent for a moment.

"Yeah."

"And he says he forgives you..."

"So what? It means I should instantly forgive him for being a hysterical diva that calls the cops out of jealousy?!"

"... but... you raped him..."

"So what? I was his boyfriend! I had a right!"

"How can you say something like that?! You are not like that..."

"You really want to discuss this with me... like... now?"

"Haido will come back at any time. He really wants to tell you something that means the world to him."

"Listen, Tetsu... I’m busy doing nothing here. Just lying on the bed and listening to damn music, so I don’t know if I’m coming or not. And certainly... if I go it’s out of boredom, and absolutely NOT to see Haido."

"He does want to see you..." Tetsu insisted patiently.

"You know what? Tell him to go to hell. Tell him I said he goes to hell. I don’t give a damn about him!"

"He said he loves you. He said he knows he never told you he did love you, but if he had, everything would have been different."

Sakura swallowed a big lump in his throat. He looked away and hit the table with his fist. "Fine. Well, he lied again. He said he loved me many times." Sakura lied. "Many times over and over, and you know what he is like... ‘daisuki’ ‘daisuki’" Sakura said mocking a gay accent.

"That doesn’t sound like Haido at all..." Tetsu laughed.

"Daisuki, daisuki" Sakura said in a deeper voice and then chirped.

Tetsu laughed over the phone.

"Still not Haido... anyway ‘Ai shite iru’ were the words he used earlier today..." Tetsu whispered on the phone.

"Uh... ya know what, Tetsu? If I go... it will only be because I don’t want you to call here nagging every fucking day."

"So, you are coming?" Tetsu asked.

"I don’t know!"

"OK. Just... remember two things:

We DO have to discuss band matters.

Haido cooks very well."

"Ok, I will remember." Sakura snapped and hung up.

Tetsu put the receiver back in its cradle and took a deep sigh. It might work. And besides, he did need to set things clear with Sakura. Whether he was coming back to the band or not. His position... and of course, he couldn’t afford to have a depressed vocalist and lyricist breaking into tears in the middle of a show... Besides... Hyde was his friend.

Somehow all of this felt wrong inside him... even if his head was telling him he was doing the right thing, his heart was trying to yell something at him. Something he stubbornly refused to listen. He couldn’t stumble against the same stone again... it was unwise...

Suddenly the phone rang again. "Yes!" Tetsu said to himself smiling. "Sakura made up his mind."

"Moshi, Moshi?" Tetsu answered pleased.

"Ah... Tet-chan!" the familiar voice answered on the other side.

"Haido?! You got lost?"

"Uh... No... I forgot to grab my wallet... hahaha! I’m stuck here in the supermarket and if you don’t come with my wallet they’ll arrest me for shoplifting."

"Ohh, Haido!! How can you be so careless!?!" Tetsu rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Gomen ne!"

"I’ll be right there. Hold on." Tetsu answered irritated.

"OK, Tet-chan... Hmmmh... Did you talk to... anou... this person, yet?"

"Hai." Tetsu replied thinking: "Good, he’s being cautious."

"So...?" Hyde urged.

"He said he would think about it."

"Good, then he WILL come. Just cross your fingers! Did you point out that I was gonna cook?"

"Yes, and shut up, you are on a pay phone!"

"Ah... gomen, gomen... you are right. OK, I’ll be waiting and entertaining the security guys here. I’ll tell them the latest hentai jokes I learnt from Ken-chan."

"OK, see you in a few minutes..." Tetsu trailed off rolling his eyes.

"Fine. Make haste. Oh, by the way... Can you believe this people? They don’t want to give me a cigarette!" Hyde said looking at the security guards warily.

"Bye, Haido..." Tetsu sighed shaking his head and hung up.

He walked out of his studio towards the dining room and picked up Hyde’s wallet... and cigarettes.

"He’s such a brat..." Tetsu laughed forgivingly. I should definitely make him wait... Tetsu opened Hyde’s wallet just to make sure it did contain some money. And suddenly a picture of Sakura fell to the floor. Tetsu stared at it for a second, then picked it up and placed it inside the wallet again.

"You better come here, damned idiot... and don’t make the ‘diva’ cry any more..." he mumbled as he put it back in the wallet, grabbed his coat and umbrella and left for the store.

"Diva or whatever, he’s still a sweet child... my sweet child... my..." Tetsu shook his head while he walked. "Kuso! Not again!"

Hyde was sitting on a chair in a corner, with two security guards escorting him. As soon as he saw Tetsu enter, he jumped up.

"Tet-chan!"

The security men pushed him back to the seat.

"It’s OK. Here is his wallet. He left in a rush and forgot it." Tetsu explained. "So, how much is it?"

"25,000 yen" The sales lady retorted distractedly.

"Wha...??!!" Tetsu couldn’t believe his ears.

"You sure buy expensive cat food, Hachirou..." Tetsu admonished Hyde glaring at him.

"Oh... I bought some stuff for the dinner... and some stuff for myself too... I have the money..."

"Yeah, barely enough..." Said Tetsu handing him the wallet.

"See?" Hyde snapped bitterly at the security and sales people "I AM gonna pay!"

After paying he put everything in the bags by himself, not letting anyone help him. He grabbed finally grabbed all the packages and walked out, followed by Tetsu.

"He’s just worried about his cat..." Tetsu tried to apologize to the people at the store he most often went to buy...

"Wait up, Haido!" Tetsu shouted, trying to catch up to his angry friend.

"Those jerks!" Hyde protested.

"I brought your cigarettes too." Tetsu added trying to calm him down.

"Oh, thanks... where’s the lighter?"

"Ah... I forgot it."

"Hmph... I see... Open the umbrella, Tet-chan, it’s raining..."

"Didn’t you say earlier today that it wouldn’t rain."

"No."

"Yes, you did."

"I was in a bad mood."

"You should get soaked." Tetsu grinned mischievously.

"No! That would ruin my looks for Sakura!" Hyde protested struggling to manage the bags.

"You are so gay... Now I will make you soak!" Tetsu said playfully pushing him out of the umbrella’s shelter.

"No! No! Dame yo!" Hyde shouted running back towards Tetsu, who began to run away from Hyde, carrying the umbrella.

"Come back here! It’s not fair, I’m carrying the bags!" Hyde shouted while running.

"Serves you right! You clown!"

"No!! What did I do?"

"You embarrassed me at the store!" Tetsu shouted while running, amused.

"Tetsuuuuu!!!!" Hyde ran after him partly mad and partly amused at the game.

Both men arrived in Tetsu’s porch soaking wet. Tetsu was laughing so hard he felt he was going to choke. On the other hand, Hyde was furious, but watching Tetsu’s contagious laughter made him laugh too, unwillingly, and he began hitting the bassist playfully on the head with one of the bags, while Tetsu fumbled in his pocket looking for the keys.

"Iiya, iyamete, Haido, I’m looking for the keys!"

"Omae! Warui hito! Bad! Bad Tet-chan! Bad Tet-chan!!"

"Ha ha ha! I ruined your looks, pretty one?"

"Yeah! You moron! You did!"

"You look like a soaked kitten!" Tetsu said making a big-eyed face and pouting, mocking Hyde.

"Urusai, baka!" Hyde hit him again with one of the bags.

"You look so cute when you are soaked and pissed!"

"You look ridiculous and stupid and you also look like I’m gonna kick you!"

"Ha ha ha!!!" Tetsu couldn’t stop laughing as he opened the door, and Hyde pushed him inside fast.

"Get in already!" Hyde urged him, trying not to laugh. Suddenly one of the brown paper bags where he kept the cat food was torn, upon being so wet, and all its contents dropped.

"Kyaa! Tetsu no baka! SEE?! This is your entire fault! You better help me pick these up!" Hyde pointed while crouching to pick up the cat food cans, which kept dropping, and his crouching caused the contents of the other bags to drop too.

"Ahhh! Tet-chan!! Korosu!"

"Oh, come on, don’t be so silly... na?" Tetsu was surprised to see one box of hair coloring dropping alongside with the cat food. Hyde took it rapidly away from him and put it in his coat’s pocket.

"Hair color?" Tetsu asked. "What for? I know you are weird but you ain’t gonna color the cat’s fur in my place..."

"Chigau, baka! It’s Sakura’s favorite color..."

"What?"

"My hair... not yours." Hyde snapped angrily.

Tetsu grabbed Hyde’s bags away from him and began to fumble through them frantically.

"What are you doing? Tet-chan... What are you looking for?"

"If I find a pack of condoms you are out of here, on your feet, with your cat, to your home."

"I ... didn’t buy that..." Hyde answered surprised.

"You are going to dye your hair blue-black just because Sakura likes it and he might be coming! You keep picking the right clothes and even worry about clean underwear! I know what’s on your mind!!" Tetsu pointed at him furiously.

"No... No... It’s not that... Please, Tet-chan... It’s... not that!"

Tetsu grabbed Hyde by his left arm and shook him, causing him to shriek.

"This is gonna be a formal meeting, we have to decide the future of the band... plus if you want you can clear up your situation with him, but that is gonna be it! Got it?... I mean DID YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKED UP HEAD?"

Hyde blushed and looked down... after several seconds of utter silence, he finally spoke in a murmur.

"I know, Tet-chan. I... just want him to see me looking good. I don’t want him to keep that last image he had of me... And I want to tell him this... little thing I told you before... and kinda... forgot to mention... to him."

Tetsu mocked a high pitched voice, "Oh, Sakura, by the way, Did I mention that I love you?... You can be so pathetic at times..."

"Tet-chan, you are so cold blooded!"

"And you are so HOT blooded! Sometimes I just can’t believe it!!"

Hyde blushed intensely.

"Ja... wakatta" Hyde nodded. "I’ll behave, I promise... it’s not what you think... it’s not like... you know... you won’t be hosting a gay party... and I am not gay."

Tetsu gave him a sarcastic look.

"I mean it. I am not gay! I do like girls... Sakura was my first man... and... probably last..."

"You just love being taken care of! Being spoiled and getting attention! That is NOT love, Hideto-kun."

Hyde nodded. The sound of his real name on Tetsu’s lips could only mean his friend was getting very mad.

"I know that, Tet-chan" he resumed picking up all the stuff on the floor, and rose.

"Le...let’s go inside... and I’ll cook dinner for everyone, ne? I haven’t cooked for others in just... such a long time... it will feel good."

"Yokatta." Tetsu mumbled and stood still staring at Hyde intensely. His heart was racing. He wanted to protect Hyde, yes, that was it. His rational side tried to explain why Tetsu’s mood over the whole situation was increasingly bad. His rational side... yes, the one he had been clinging to for the last years.

And he tried to explain to himself: No, he was not falling for Hyde again, he was just being protective with his friend because Hyde needed it... because Hyde was vulnerable now... because he was a good friend... because that is what friends do for their friends... No, he was not falling again for him... No... He couldn’t. It had been a disaster the first time. He couldn’t afford to go through the same once again. He was older and wiser. Just protective. Just careful. Just a good friend. That was why he was feeling bad about this reunion... that was why his heart was telling him this was wrong.

Just friendship... good friendship... Of course... He lectured himself while watching Hyde’s leaden expression.

"I’m over you." Tetsu thought. "I’m over you forever." And a tight grip squeezed his heart. Tetsu felt like rain within. Once again.