L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Chapter 5: ~Cooking with Mr. Hyde~

Hyde and Tetsu entered the house in silence and Tetsu left the keys on the chest of drawers, then he walked into his studio in order to call Ken. In the living room the silver clock ticked mechanically and continuously, its sharp sound reverberated against the walls in a perfect rhythm, chanting the music that lulled the passage of time, and filling the silence.

Hyde looked around at all the bookcases and shelves holding hundreds of model kits and anime merchandising items. Colorful miniature robots and vessels rested scrupulously arranged on them. Everything looked as perfect as in a shop window display. Tetsu was amazingly organized and careful. Hyde admired that, especially since he knew he had quite some trouble at doing anything of the sort. He sighed and went to the kitchen to leave all the goods he had bought.

The cat meowed from a cushion and Hyde took his medicine before getting any closer to it. He opened a can of cat food, and spread its contents on a small plate. Then he put it in front of the cat, and began a series of sneezes.

"There. Eat, you pester... uh... this thing smells like crap."

The cat smelled the food, and reluctantly began to eat it.

"Oh? You don’t eat as eagerly as you ate my fish this morning! He,he... at least you do appreciate the fact that I cook for you." Hyde voiced out loud bitterly.

"I heard that, Haido." Tetsu said aloud from his studio. "Kono baka... He’ll start his bratty act right now..." he thought shaking his head in discomfort.

"Why do you think I said it aloud...?" Hyde mumbled. "Well, then better go to the kitchen... and let Tet-chan-tachi have a taste of what this ‘gay’ asshole can do as a cook." Hyde snapped aloud purposefully, staring into Tetsu’s direction.

"Cut it out, Haido!" Tetsu yelled banging his left fist on his desk.

"...cuz you know kitty? Apart from singing, and writing songs..." Hyde went on bellowing "... and getting laid by drummers..." he made that real loud "... I can also do other stuff!"

Tetsu put the phone on the desk and rapidly walked over to Hyde. He crossed the dining room at lightning speed and stood in front of Hyde glaring at him.

"Are you trying me?" Tetsu demanded angrily and pushed him.

"No... I’m just sore at what you said before. Apologize." Hyde replied very loudly and turned to the kitchen. "And give me an apron, cuz I won’t stain my clothes cooking... And no, it’s not because Sakura will see the stains, but rather because I don’t want to ruin my clothes! I can also be careful and organized you know? Just that I don’t have the time! And if you don’t give me an apron, then I’ll cook naked!"

"Fine. Then find it yourself or cook naked, Mr. I-can-be-organized. I don’t care." Tetsu said turning on his heels before he couldn’t restrain the urge to grab Hyde by the neck and throttle him.

"Ohhh you don’t care if a ‘fruit cake’ is cooking naked in your kitchen?!" Hyde probed maliciously.

"Exactly!" Tetsu snapped and turned to give Hyde a raged stare.

"Fine then!" Hyde bellowed furiously and began to take off his clothes right in front of Tetsu.

"Just make sure you are dressed again by the time everyone comes." Tetsu said and rapidly walked off the kitchen.

"Cool!" Hyde snapped bitterly and finished taking his clothes off dropping them in a heap, then entered the kitchen, banging on everything he could.

"You break, you pay, Haido!" Tetsu shouted from the door of his studio and slammed it closed shaking in tension.

"Fine!! Fine!! Fine!!" Hyde yelled irritated and about to burst in tears.

Hyde turned on the fire, and put some water in a pot to boil. He began peeling and washing vegetables while crying in silence.

"This... is... all so bad... I don’t want to be mad at Tet-chan... What if he throws me out before Sakura comes, huh? Haido no baka..."

Tetsu remained in his studio, talking on the phone to Ken who was laughing his head off at what he had overheard.

"So... Tetsu... the brat is kicking up a scene already?" Ken asked amused.

"Oh... he’s just mad at some bitter comment I made..."

"You should be more careful..."

"Yeah, I know... he’s being very sensitive..."

"Yeah, that... and the food might get bitter..."

Tetsu choked a laugh. "Yes, that one too. But I’m more worried about him being nervous."

"Ja. Well, hopefully everything will work out fine. He’s vulnerable now, but we’ll be right beside him so if anything bad happens, we can protect him."

"Hope so. Anou, what time are you coming?"

"I’ll be there in a while. I have to feed Elizabeth."

"Oh, Haido has a cat. Did I mention it? It’s here."

"What? But he is allergic...!!"

"I know. He’s sneezing so much... and taking his allergy medicine all the time, but still wants to keep the cat."

"Then I guess I’ll bring Elizabeth along..." Ken trailed off.

"Uh... that will make it worse... I’d advise against it."

"Oh... I don’t think so... besides, Elizabeth misses Haido..."

"Haido is in such a bad temper he will kick both cats’ butts at anytime."

"I’ll kick his! He better dare not do anything to my precious little Elizabeth!"

Tetsu laughed. "OK, OK... just come here as soon as you can, fine?"

"OK, ja... mata."

Tetsu hung up, and stayed in his studio for a while, thinking about Haido cooking naked in his kitchen. He tried to focus on the funny side of the situation. Hyde could be a total brat. Nobody could be brattier than he was.

"Fans would love to see him like this..." Tetsu chuckled to himself, making an effort to concentrate on the image of roaring fans, rather than on the image of Hyde naked.

"I better go to see him, and talk him into getting dressed again." Tetsu rose and walked towards the kitchen where he found Hyde cooking and shaking in cold.

"Ah, Doiha-chan... You are so stubborn and baka... Get dressed, I’ll get you an apron."

"I...I...I’mmmm.... f-f-f-f...ine..." Hyde retorted angrily and shuddering.

"Yeah, right." Tetsu said and pulled from Hyde’s arm.

"D-d-don’t t-t-touch th-th-the gay g-g-guy"

Tetsu pulled from Hyde’s arm harder and pushed him into the heap of clothes.

"Get dressed. You are too good looking to stay naked in my kitchen. I might start to like you." Tetsu snapped in a motherly tone of voice.

"I DON’T like you!" Hyde answered bitterly.

"Great. Anyway, get dressed."

Hyde reluctantly got dressed again. Then in silence, he went back to the kitchen sink, washed his hands, put on a mouth cloth and resumed cooking. Tetsu brought an apron and put it on Hyde from the back, securing the straps to the small man’s waist.

"Thanks..."

"You are welcome." Tetsu said. "You know? Asking for things nicely always works better than demanding them by force..." Then he turned on his feet heading for the living room.

Hyde turned to watch Tetsu, then he lowered the fire, and walked over to him.

"I’m sorry Tet-chan. I... I’m just mad... cuz... cuz you are tagging me as ‘gay’ when I am not!"

"I’m not tagging you. I just don’t want you to be hurt again."

"I won’t. I promise, Tet-chan."

"Good." Tetsu smiled at Hyde, and he returned his smile.

"And I do like you, Tet-chan... just... not in ‘that’ way... but I do like you." Hyde added. "I don’t wanna scare you into thinking I’m gonna hit on you next..."

"I do like you too." Tetsu comforted him smiling.

"I know you do..." Hyde said and he hugged his friend tightly.

"Tet-chan..." Hyde suddenly looked up from the embrace. "If I ever had to fall for only one guy in this world..." Hyde started. "...Why did it have to be Sakura?"

"Because you two got on really well, Haido." Tetsu said rubbing Hyde’s back. This feeling of warmth and intimacy was too comfortable for him, and talking about the past was what he needed to keep the unexpected comfort at bay.

"Why have I been so careless...?" Hyde asked softly.

"Because you were inexperienced. But you have learnt now, I assume..."

"This is all my fault, Tet-chan? You also think it is?"

"No, Haido. When a relationship breaks, it’s usually both participating persons’ fault."

"You are just being patronizing with me... as usual..."

"Hmm... No, Doiha-chan. You know I wouldn’t lie to you."

"I know..." Hyde whispered still inside the soft embrace.

Tetsu caressed Hyde’s head softly. His heart was racing fast, and a load of images of the past paraded through his head, fast like a freight train, beating against his temples relentlessly... He started to wonder for how much longer ‘Rational’ would be able to resist the pressure before ‘Emotional’ broke loose.

"I tried, Tet-chan... I tried to mend my mistakes..." Hyde whispered in a faint voice.

"I know you did, little one... but sometimes it doesn’t work. It’s just a risk you have to take... sometimes when you realize about something, it’s already too late." Tetsu spoke, almost to himself... almost as if he were reminding himself of his own mistakes.

"I did try, Tet-chan... but he didn’t want to listen... I tried really hard..."

"You did the right thing then, Doiha-chan..." Tetsu lulled in a soft voice while still holding Hyde.

"If it had been all the way around, I would have listened..." Hyde sobbed.

"Maybe you are different, Doiha-chan."

"Would you have listened, Tet-chan?"

"What?"

"If the person you are in love with says she realizes she’s made a mistake and tries hard to mend it... would you have listened?"

"If I really loved her, then I guess I would..."

"Why couldn’t I fall for you?"

"What???" Tetsu broke the embrace startled and opened his eyes wide.

"I mean... why did I have to fall for Sakura?" Hyde said looking down to the floor. He looked weak, vulnerable, smaller... broken.

"Because you always seem to fall for the kind of stuff that will do you wrong... albeit... look at your new pet."

"Yeah. I wish I had fallen for you, Tet-chan."

"Shut up. Don’t hit on me." Tetsu turned his back to Hyde trying to hide his raising blushing.

"Chigau na, I’m not hitting on you! I’m just saying that... if I had to fall for one guy in the world, and it had to be someone in the band... why couldn’t it be you? You wouldn’t have hurt me..."

"You don’t know that. Now stop this pointless babbling, and go back to cooking! You said you wanted to cook!" Tetsu pleaded shuddering nervously.

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry to annoy you... hehehe... go to watch your anime or do something fancy... hehehe... like... I dunno... you always do fancy stuff... hehehe... Or you could alphabetize your plants or something... you're so organized..."

"Thanks, I guess. It sounds like you are calling me a maniac, but I’ll try to think it was meant to be a compliment." Tetsu answered somewhat relieved at the change of subject.

"I can organize the vegetables by size and color in your refrigerator if you want. I can also be organized, you know?" Hyde said nodding seriously, and Tetsu laughed at the crazy idea. It was like Hyde was trying to win him over... if only he knew...

No... There was nothing to know. Hyde was trying to get him to be his ally because he was scared of the meeting. Yes, that was it. Tetsu shook his head trying to cast away any thoughts other than the ones his rational side allowed him to have. But Hyde’s words kept ringing in his head. Images of the past... memories... Tetsu’s heart cringed at the memories flashing before his eyes every now and then... How he used to have a big crush on Hyde years ago... How painful these memories were... And just when he had gathered the guts to tell Hyde, the small vocalist had already fallen head over hells for Sakura. It took Tetsu a painfully long time to get over it.

"You needn’t do that, Haido. Just keep cooking" Tetsu said smiling sweetly. "And I’m not doing ‘fancy’ stuff all the time..."

A quarter of an hour passed quietly... an occasional meow as well as an occasional sound from the kitchen were the only things that would make Tetsu look away from the TV set. Television could very well succeed at restraining the thoughts pushing to make way inside his head. And Tetsu stared blankly at the news... almost concentrated... almost as if he understood anything the German speaking lady was saying on Deutsche Welle. Absolutely oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t even watching a Japanese TV show.

Suddenly the doorbell rang startling both Hyde and Tetsu.

"Waaaa!!! It’s the door, Tet-chan!! Go get the door!! Tet-chan!!" Hyde screamed eagerly from the kitchen after having jumped in alarm and bumped into the table causing the pannier on it to drop.

"Ohhh! Shut up! I’m coming to the door!" Tetsu chuckled nervously.

"Don’t let him in the kitchen yet, K?" Hyde warned peeping behind the kitchen door. His heart was racing while he held a bread loaf in his hands and crumbled it nervously.

He was shuddering in anxiety. He started to pace up and down the kitchen, re-going in his head the words he had so many times thought he should say if he was ever to see Sakura again.

"I have to be cool, relaxed... can’t show him just how nervous I feel... Uh... wait... I gotta be nice to him... and smile... can’t forget about smiling... and uh... everything will be fine... I mean... uh... Sakura won’t do anything bad when everyone else is here... so... I shouldn’t worry..." Hyde went on and on inside his head.

"So, I’ll greet him... ‘Hello, Sakura, how are you?’ I’ll say... I’ll speak casually... yeah... ‘Fine? Oh, good. I’m fine too, thanks...’ yeah... casual, relaxed... yeah... and then blah, blah, blah, and when I get to be alone with him..." He turned and suddenly he bumped into a dark figure standing right behind him, apparently the man that had just come in, and had entered the kitchen.

"Ah...ah... so-sorry..." Hyde blushed and didn’t dare raise his eyes. His temples were beating at the speed of the shinkansen and his well-thought speech left his mind in an instant.

"It’s OK, Haido"

"Ken-chan?!" Hyde looked up and saw Ken holding a cigarette loosely between his lips and staring at him confused.

"Ken-chan!" Hyde smiled somewhat relieved.

"Yeah, who did you think I was?"

"Uh... Sa-Sa... Santa..."

"Come on..." Ken said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah... I was gonna apologize to Santa..."

"You haven’t been drinking, right?"

"Ha ha ha! No... I’m kidding. I was just wondering where I left my cigarettes..."

"Here, have one." Ken offered

"Thanks, man..." Hyde said holding the cigarette between his lips while Ken lit it.

"You smoke while you cook? That won’t taste good..." Tetsu admonished from the door.

"Uh... you are right... I’ll go to the balcony to have a smoke... while it’s done... hehehe..." Ken and Hyde walked over to the balcony and Tetsu followed them.

"You nervous, Haido?" Ken asked leaning on the writhed iron protection.

"Uh... nah... why?" Hyde said holding his cigarette between trembling fingers.

"Well, cuz you certainly look nervous." Ken and Tetsu answered in unison with a concerned look on their faces.

"Nah, I’m not nervous, I already got soaked, I’m dying from this allergy, I had a fight with Tetsu, and even took off my clothes and started cooking naked... What else could happen?"

"Well, well... cooking naked... Tetsu, might I remind you he’s a guy?" Ken joked.

"Oh... I noticed when he got naked..." Tetsu answered jokingly.

"No boobs, Tetsu... Didn’t you notice?"

"Yeah... I thought he was a defective chick..."

"I can wipe both of your sorry asses..." Hyde commented inhaling from his cigarette in an irritated manner.

"I was quite disappointed, Ken... Thought it was my lucky day..." Tetsu went on with the joke.

"Shut up ya morons!" Hyde yelled.

"Yeah... but at least he’s cooking... so something is something..." Ken replied.

"I’ll drop poison in da fucking food!!" Hyde protested.

"She... uh... he has a rather rotten personality..." Tetsu said.

Hyde jumped on Tetsu’s back and started to hit him playfully with a piece of wood.

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it already!!"

All three men started to laugh, and as both Hyde and Ken put out their cigarettes, Hyde went back to cooking.

"Ne... Tet-chan..."

"Yes, Haido?"

"Sakura said he ‘might’ come, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, probably he won’t come..."

"Just a while ago you said he WOULD come!" Tetsu protested.

"We don’t know." Ken answered.

"Yeah, well, probably if it’s just you and Tetsu he would come. I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me."

"Why do you think so, Doiha-chan?" Tetsu asked, and Hyde’s words reminded him of the conversation he had had with Sakura a couple hours ago.

"Because... he hates me... He hates me cuz... I broke my promise to him..."

"I don’t wanna hear your coward speech..." Ken started. "If you’re freaking out now it means you are a chicken, Haido."

"No, I mean..." Hyde explained. "...when I learnt about Sakura’s addiction, I promised not to give it out, and to help him always... but... uh... I ended up calling the ambulance, and then the ambulance called the police... well... you know the rest, I guess."

"Uh... Haido... just one little question here..." Ken prompted.

"Hai?" Hyde asked fearing he knew what the question would be about. He had avoided the subject since it had happened, and he knew Ken and Tetsu had probably figured it out... or learnt about it some other way.

"What happened to make you call the ambulance...?"

"Uh... Sakura overdosed..." Hyde answered and swallowed with difficulty.

"Uh, so... hmmm... I guess anyone would have called an ambulance then..." Ken commented staring at Hyde.

"Well, I don’t think he remembers he overdosed... probably he thinks he was fine and all..."

"How would you know he overdosed?"

"When your eyes are blank and you spit foam... I think you did..."

"Un... wakatta..." Ken nodded.

"How did he react when the ambulance arrived?"

"He didn’t... he didn’t know what was going on..."

"Where were you then?"

"Uh..." Hyde was beginning to get nervous at Ken’s quiz. "I was with him... in the dining room."

"You were scared?"

"Hmm... hai."

"Did he do anything to you, Haido?" Ken asked.

"Hmmm... ha-hai."

"What?" Ken demanded.

"OK, stop it, Ken. He doesn’t want to talk about it..." Tetsu interrupted, feeling sorry and overly protective towards Hyde.

"Uh, it’s OK, Tet-chan. I can tell Ken and you now, I would have to tell you sooner or later..." Hyde smirked sadly.

"Are you sure... you want to talk about this... so soon, Doiha-chan?"

"Well... you probably figured it out anyway..." Hyde sighed and poured the food inside a bowl. Both Ken and Tetsu stared at him tensely.

Hyde walked into the living room carrying the bowl of curry rice and placed it on the table, Tetsu and Ken followed him. Then he sat on the couch, in front of his friends, and started his story.

"Sakura was there with a teenage girl. I arrived into the house and saw him. Both of them were completely stoned and naked... obviously they had had sex. I was always mad at him when he was like that, because it was bad... and because... even if he had been using drugs for a long time, it had never gotten that bad, and sometimes he was OK, but, sometimes... well... he wasn’t.

So I started to yell at him, because... I just had had it with the junk and stuff. I was scared that the police might come to search my house... and I was angry to have him fuck a teenage in my home... but... Sakura was too stoned.

So... He basically pushed me against the wall and began to yell at me and crushed me holding my by the hair, and I couldn’t move... Then he grabbed my balls and I was paralyzed in pain so he dragged me to the couch... and he tore my clothes..." Hyde shivered and swallowed. "... and raped me in front of that girl... she was so scared, she ran away..." Hyde’s eyes were full of tears, his fists clenched tightly.

"It was terrible... the pain was so... deep... I couldn’t even scream... and... and... He kept insulting me and raping me, until he fell to the ground... probably the effects of the overdose... I crawled up with too much effort to the phone and called an ambulance... you know the rest."

Hyde tried not to cry, but the tears were already flooding his eyes. He struggled to smile...

"It’s OK to tell you, because... you are my friends, and Sakura’s... and... I want you to know that I have forgiven him, because, he wasn’t being himself... He was so stoned... He didn’t know what he was doing... probably he doesn’t remember..."

"It’s amazing you can forgive him..." Ken replied slowly.

"... cuz I love him..." Hyde replied back.

"Yeah... we know that you do, Haido... but listen, I... really don’t think Sakura thinks like you about this. You probably won’t get a chance to tell him about your feelings... IF he does come." Ken spoke smoothly.

"Oh, I know. If I can, I’ll do it. But if I cannot, then, just seeing him for a last time will make me happy too." He lied.

"Well... uh... why don’t we start eating before the food gets cold...?" Ken tried to break the tense atmosphere.

"Hai, hai." Hyde forced himself to smile again.

Tetsu nodded as he and Ken sat at the table, while Hyde brought the rest of the food with him, and poured red wine for his friends.

"I’m sure you’ll like it. It’s my best recipe..." Hyde smiled at them trying to erase any traces of sadness from his face... unsuccessfully.

The three of them began to eat in silence. The sound of the clock hanging from the wall took over the room, interrupted casually by the sudden sound of a glass being put down to the table, or chopsticks brushing a plate. Time seemed to run slowly, and even if no one uttered a word, the three men sitting and having dinner could only think of one thing: Sakura.