L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Angel and Demon

Chapter 6 ~Prelude to a Reunion... Two bad liars...~

About half an hour after the silent dinner had started the doorbell rang shattering the nervous quietness and startling the threesome in the dinning room with the sudden sound.

Ken and Tetsu looked at each other and rapidly shifted their eyes to meet Hyde’s. The small vocalist was trying to swallow a rather uncomfortable lump nesting in his throat, clenching his fist around a napkin below the tablecloth. He stared down as he tried to hide his hands, which had begun to shake, and in a soft voice he said:

"Ne... Tet-chan... Why don’t you go see who it is...?"

"You know it’s most surely him... Are you ready?" Tetsu whispered trying to catch a glimpse of Hyde’s elusive eyes; but the small-framed vocalist remained stubbornly looking down at the floor.

"Un. Daijobu." Hyde nodded.

"OK." Tetsu got up in a restrained anxiety and went to the door.

As if time had been slowed down, the host’s footsteps echoed away, muffled against the carpet, precise like his fingers picking on his bass strings.

Ken grabbed Hyde’s arm and shook him mildly.

"Come on, Haido! Cheer up! You’ve been expecting this... haven’t you?"

"Un." Hyde nodded again. His uneven hair accompanying the movement of his head.

"Shyness does not become you." Ken said playfully. Hyde smiled shyly, still staring at the floor.

"I... didn’t dye my hair in the end..." Hyde tried to make Ken laugh.

"Oh... I’m sure he’s already seen you in hair rollers..." Ken joked trying to cheer him up, and Hyde glared at him.

"I don’t wear that kind of thing! I’m not a girl! My mamma wears those!" He tried to whisper but his voice came out louder than he expected.

Ken laughed wholeheartedly. No matter how down Hyde felt, he still had this big ego of him...

They both heard Tetsu’s and Sakura’s voice as the bassist and the drummer walked into the room. Ken looked up smiling, and Hyde sunk in his chair still obstinately staring at the floor.

"Yo, Ken-kun! How are you?" Sakura greeted upon entering the dining room.

"Good. You, Sakura?"

"I’m great. In great shape. See?" Sakura stroke a funny pose that made Tetsu and Ken laugh nervously.

Hyde remained motionless.

"You ain’t gonna say "hi" to Doiha-chan?" Tetsu asked Sakura, in his usual motherly tone.

"Hi." Sakura snapped without looking at Hyde.

"Hi." Hyde replied in a low utterance... barely audible.

"Sit here, Sakura. There’s still curry that Hyde made, it’s very good... want some wine?" Tetsu offered babbling eagerly and pulling a chair.

"No, thanks, I already had dinner." Sakura lied, and stayed on his feet. "Wine’s OK, though." He continued.

Hyde tried to reach for the bottle in order to pour some wine into Sakura’s glass, but the drummer’s hand caught the bottle first. Hyde returned to his position, feeling awkward and out of place. Both Tetsu and Ken noticed, and looked at each other in concern, things were having rough start.

"Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything?" Tetsu asked, almost pleading. "This is really good. Haido-kun made it, and..."

"No, I’m full, thanks." Sakura interrupted, but couldn’t help his stomach growling and revealing in his lie.

"Yeah, sure you are..." Hyde muttered in an barely distinct voice, still staring at the floor, making himself even more little as if he wanted to disappear; he could feel Sakura’s despising glare on the back of his head. Hyde’s eyes could hardly control itchy feeling behind them, and somehow bonding to the tight knot in his throat.

He knew he had to be strong.

He knew it was a last chance...

"Why don’t you take a seat, Sakura?" Ken insisted, trying to break the growing tension in the room. "There’s a place beside Haido..."

"No, thanks." Sakura replied sipping his wine and smiling, still standing behind Hyde.

Hyde looked up, sorrow was all over his face, he took a deep breath and stood up, collected the dishes and headed for the kitchen.

"Now you can sit." He said bitterly as he walked away.

Sakura sat down beside Hyde’s empty chair.

"Ne... Tetsu-kun... you said you wanted to discuss band matters, so... let’s do it now, OK? I can’t stay long, someone is waiting for me..." Sakura lied.

Half a second after, everyone could hear the sound of dishes crashing loudly against the kitchen floor. Ken and Tetsu were startled, Sakura didn’t move, and kept sipping his wine. Expressionless.

"Good wine, you picked it, Tetsu-kun?" Sakura commented coldly.

"Haido-kun did..." Tetsu replied turning his eyes from the kitchen door to glare at Sakura.

"Uh-huh... a bit sour, though." Sakura added as he finished his glass with a gulp. Then he stared at Tetsu forcing a smile and waiting for his answer.

"So...?" Sakura urged.

"I’ll manage it..." Ken said propping himself up and moving towards the kitchen. "Do your job, fearless leader..." he said half mockingly and half-concerned to Tetsu, who nodded in reply and stared angrily at Sakura.

"Why do you have to be so harsh...?!" Tetsu hissed at Sakura madly.

"Huh? What...?"

"God... you are two babies..." Tetsu kept his voice low, he didn’t want Hyde to hear.

Ken walked into the kitchen and saw Hyde crouching and cleaning up the mess that dropping the dishes had caused in the kitchen. His back was turned to him.

"Sa... Doiha-chan... daijobu ka?"

"Un." Hyde nodded.

"You are not crying, are you?"

"Uun." Hyde shook his head.

"You look like you are..." Ken commented and leaned on Hyde’s shoulder to get a glimpse of his face.

"Sore ha chigau!" Hyde bellowed sobbing, and trying to hide his face from Ken.

"Oh... sou ka..." Ken regained his position. "Anou... Want some help, Haido?"

"No, get out!"

"Want a cigarette?"

Hyde raised his head. He stared at the flowery-patterned curtain in front of him for a couple seconds.

Such a happy thing... So Tetsu-like. He hated the curtain right away. He felt those silly daisies and cheerful designs were laughing at him. Reminding him just how pathetic he was.

"The world is beautiful, Haido-san. You just don’t belong in here..." A chorus of daisies chanted giggling from the curtain.

He would have hurled the broken pieces of dishes at the harmless decoration, but he refrained. Ken was there, in the kitchen. He’d think he had gone crazy.

He finally stood up picking a big pile of broken dishes and rests of food. He threw it in the waste bin, and turned to Ken, letting him see his face plastered with tears.

"Yes, please." This time the voice was painfully tinted of defeat.

Ken offered him a cigarette, and took one for himself. Then he lit both with a match. They both inhaled, and Hyde started to cough, as if he weren’t able to sob and smoke at the same time.

"You said you were ready..." Ken scolded him mildly.

"Sumimasen... Uso datta na..."

"I knew you were lying..." Ken stared at him frowning.

Hyde nodded and inhaled.

"And I know he is lying too..." Ken continued and took a long drag of his cigarette again. Hyde looked up at him. Ken was so tall compared to him...

"You... you think so too...? I’m... not quite sure... probably he does have someone who is waiting for him..."

"He doesn’t. Too soon." Ken replied shaking his head. "He’s just trying to make you mad... make you jealous."

Hyde looked around for a broom, in order to clean up the rest of the mess. Trying to escape Ken’s steady stare.

"What made you drop the dishes?"

"I... stumbled..."

"Oh... what with...?" Ken asked knowingly.

"Uh...uh..." Hyde looked around. "OK! You got me! I didn’t stumble, it’s just that my hands faltered... my knees faltered..."

"...because you heard Sakura..."

"Un."

"So, he did succeed at making you jealous, ne?"

Hyde looked away, grabbed a broom and started to sweep the kitchen mechanically, without answering. His silence was more eloquent than any words he could say and put himself in shame for.

"I wonder how you can still love him after all you’ve been through..." Ken commented worriedly.

Hyde swallowed and nodded. He had wondered about that too. He couldn’t decide at this point whether it was love, or just fear of being alone. But he dreaded to think of the latter option. He was forcing himself to believe it was love. He was feeling guilty. All these months he had been feeling unbearably guilty.

"Tetsu will get so mad at me..." Hyde tried to change the subject.

"Yeah... he’ll make you buy a new set of dishes..." Ken said mockingly. "And they better match the kitchen decoration..."

"Hmph... Yeah... well, I’ll do it, it’s my fault..."

"Oh, yes it is..."

"You could be a little more supportive, ne...? You only keep asking questions, smoking and nodding!"

"Un." Ken nodded smirking.

"Why...? Since you are so smart, why don’t you come up with some plan or help me somehow, huh?!" Hyde scowled glaring at him.

"So, what do you want me to do? Want me dress like cupid and shoot love arrows to Sakura or what?!" Ken asked laughing. The image of Ken dressing as a chubby cherub, floating and aiming arrows that popped up in Hyde’s head was disturbingly weird and outright disgusting.

"It’s not funny!!" Hyde protested. "You are laughing at my pain!"

"No. I’m laughing because I know what will happen. You are paying so much attention to Sakura and he is paying so much attention to you, even if you both try to hide it... You are such a funny couple... I guess... A couple of baka flamers."

"Huh??" Hyde’s eyes were open like plates, quizzing Ken.

"He obviously still feels something for you. If he didn’t he’d just ignore you, but he’s trying to piss you off instead... So, what is left of what you two shared, that’s up to you to find out." Ken translated rolling his eyes. Hyde was rarely this dense.

"Ah... yeah... hatred." Hyde lowered his eyes and went on sweeping maniacally. "That’s what’s left. He hates me, I hate myself... that’s it. Smart-ass."

"Uhm... If so, he wouldn’t have come..."

"He came to discuss business with Tet-chan." Hyde spat his comment bitterly.

"He could have asked Tet-chan to do so at some other time. When you are NOT around."

"Hmph... But he won’t even look at me..." Hyde said sighing sadly. "I can sense his hatred..."

"He must be just as nervous as you are. Let’s go back to the dining room... He can’t hold that attitude for much longer if you are there, OK?"

"How would you know?!" Hyde demanded clenching his teeth and making a fierce face. "You damned match-maker-of-hell wanna-be!"

"Cuz you two are... such girlies... This is all like a big soap opera, man..." Ken said as he walked away, avoiding a lighter that Hyde had hurled at him. A couple seconds later Hyde followed Ken and tugged from his shirt.

"Hai?" Ken turned and looked at Hyde, who had shifted back to his dark spirits once again.

"Stay with me, please..." Hyde whispered in a low-pitched voice. "Help me, please..."

"You want to make him jealous...? OK." Ken was amused. "Hehehe... like making him taste his own medicine, right?"

"No, you baka! I just... feel... stupid... please stand by me..."

"Insecure?? You??"

"Shut up you biggest moron this side of the Universe!" Hyde protested trying to hide his voice from the others.

"You are such a baby, Haido... OK. I’ll do it. Just because you are my friend. And bear in mind that I wouldn’t do this for any other guy... just thinking of it makes me shiver."

"Shut up, and do it!" Hyde yelled without noticing, then covered his mouth with his palm and glared at Ken. Both Tetsu and Sakura instinctively turned and looked at them, then Sakura turned to look at the table again, trying to regain his cold composure.

"What are you two up to?" Tetsu asked surprised.

"Oh, Haido wants me to..." Ken started but was kicked in his left ankle by Hyde, who pushed him back into the kitchen.

"You suck!" Hyde yelled furiously.

"Uh... Hyde, you want me to suck on you?! Now?!" Ken made his voice pretty loud.

"Shut up!! Don’t do this!!" Hyde pleaded shrieking.

"Doiha-chan... I told you we wouldn’t have sex in Tetsu’s place! Wait until we get home!" Ken added amused while bearing all the kicks and punches that Hyde was delivering him as he growled and cried. Ken was indeed amused... He had gotten Hyde’s plan all wrong, but he didn’t know it, so he was playing it and having fun, while Hyde was desolated at the turn things were taking.

"They just... can’t..." Tetsu got up in an instant, furious... in the back of his mind he knew Hyde and Ken were not likely to pull out a sex scene in the kitchen... his kitchen... but from the dining room it sounded like that...

Sakura kept staring at the table... he was fuming. He couldn’t hide it any longer.

Tetsu opened the swaying door violently, and much to his surprise he found Hyde sitting on the floor, curled and crying like a baby, while Ken was staring at him and scratching his head rather puzzled.

"So, what was the big idea, Haido? You are like... so vague when you scheme up something!" Ken started protesting.

"You are so damned stupid!! I just can’t believe you are so stupid!! How did you manage to get into college being so stupid??!!" Hyde cried and sobbed hitting the ground with his fists.

"What the hell is going on?!" Tetsu yelled, visibly mad at them.

"I dunno... I do as he says and he gets mad!" Ken shrugged.

"No!! You didn’t get it at all! You bakaaaa!!!" Hyde yelled sobbing, and suddenly caught sight of Sakura entering the kitchen.

"Uh... gomen, Tetsu... What the hell is going on...?"

"Uh, Haido is trying to make you jealous..." Ken said casually.

Hyde wanted to stab himself... he just couldn’t believe he had heard Ken say that.

"Chigau yo! Ken no baka! Chigau yo!"

"Uh... well, it wouldn’t amaze me... That’s the kind of thing he will do." Sakura said as he turned back to leave for the dining room.

"Hey, Sakura..." Ken called.

"Huh?" Sakura stopped and turned his head to look at him.

"Did he make it?"

"Nani...?!"

"Did he make you jealous?" Ken asked cheekily.

Sakura blushed and stammered. "Na-nani yo...?"

Hyde sunk his head between his knees and began rattling in a whisper: "OK, Lord... take my life now, you can take my life now... I know I deserve hell, but I’d be a good addition to heaven chorus... just think about it... please take my life now..."

Tetsu burst in laughter... he stared at the small vocalist sitting on the floor, crying between his knees and wrapping them with his arms while shakily pleading for death... the sight was very pathetic... but somehow it made him laugh. Sakura had turned his back to them, trying to hide his own blushing. And Ken carried a triumphant look on his face, as he lit another cigarette.

"Let’s not be such hypocrites here..." Ken suddenly said. "...this is all about Haido and Sakura talking out their problems... Band issues won’t be solved as long as they don’t talk their stuff out."

"I have nothing to discuss with Hideto-kun." Sakura snapped coldly, in a hoarse, despising voice.

Hyde sobbed. "I do have something to discuss with Sakura-chan, though."

Sakura pulled out a cigarette too. His shivering fingers took it to his lips with a particular uncertainty, and his left hand managed to take the silver Zippo® lighter in his shirt pocket to the tip of the white, thin, calm-providing object and rapidly ignite it.

He inhaled nervously from it, as if he were eager to catch his share of nicotine before his whole body might crack down.

He had expected something like this to happen eventually.

A second later he let the sheer gray smoke leave his nostrils slowly.

Then he turned to face the small vocalist who was still in the same position on the floor.

"Spill it out." Sakura ordered.

"It’s private." Hyde declared without raising his head.

"Not any more, you clown. Spill it out."

"I’d rather do it privately." Hyde insisted.

"Oh... if you are gonna talk about sex, I’d rather leave, cuz I’ve never heard about such things in my life!" Ken said scornfully.

Hyde fumed, but still didn’t raise his head. Tetsu couldn’t stand the urge to chuckle at Ken’s obvious joke.

"Speak up, Hideto!" Sakura ordered.

"Fine." Hyde said. Still not looking up.

"Show your face, man..." Ken urged Hyde while poking him with his foot and Hyde slammed his fist against it.

"Ow! I’ll get you for that, you brat!" Ken said rubbing his sore foot.

Sakura kept looking at Hyde defiantly.

"Sakura..." Hyde started. "... I’m sorry..."

"Too late." Sakura said and turned to walk into the dining room.

"There’s more, just don’t go." Hyde pleaded. Sakura stopped and turned again to face him.

"What?"

"I... I didn’t mean to hurt you. I ... I love you. Ai shite iru, Sakura."

"OK." Sakura replied wearily, his heart was beating fast, bumping against his chest. He had waited so long to hear those words... so damned long. And the words finally arrived, but the timing was not the right one. Yet... Hyde looked so adorable when he was vulnerable.

But he had to be strong. He couldn’t succumb to him again.

"You... forgive me?" Hyde asked raising his face to look at Sakura who was visibly blushing.

"No." Sakura said and left the kitchen. Hyde was so shocked he froze where he was. He gasped and then closed his lips tight. Streams of tears silently began to run down his cheeks from his reddened eyes.

Silent, bitter tears. A motionless Hyde stayed sitting on the ash-brown ceramic floor. Still, almost as if he had become part of the furniture. Like a solitary marble statue standing in the rain, unable to yell out the pain stabbing at his heart.

"That’s it." Both Ken and Tetsu thought. They were sure Hyde was going to collapse, and Tetsu moved slightly towards him in case he had to catch him.

But instead they heard a loud thump in the dining room. Hyde got up immediately, like in an instinctive call, and ran to the place where the sound had come from... Ken and Tetsu followed him blindly.

Upon entering the dining room the three of them saw Sakura lying on the floor.

Hyde ran towards Sakura and turned him trying to lift him, but the drummer was too heavy for him.

"Tasukete sa!" The small vocalist pleaded looking up desperately at Ken and Tetsu. They both nodded, and helped.

Then Tetsu brought a bowl of iced water and a cloth while Ken helped Hyde put Sakura’s legs on the couch. Hyde kneeled on it and placed Sakura’s head on his lap.

He slowly and lovingly wet Sakura’s temples with the iced water Tetsu had brought until Sakura regained consciousness.

Sakura opened his eyes and saw Hyde’s. He looked worried, and the drummer realized the little man he had so deeply loved was holding his head on his lap.

"You’ll be fine, Sakura, it’s because you didn’t have dinner... you should be less of a meanie and eat my food... You always said you liked my food... now how come you don’t wanna eat it? You are hungry, I know you are... I know you very well... I haven’t forgotten a single moment of our life together... I haven’t... I know you so well, and you should eat... eat my food, please..." Hyde babbled. Sakura didn’t answer.

"I’ll take care of you, even if you hate me, Sakura... cuz I don’t hate you, I still love you, and I’m willing to try again... even if I guess you have a lover now... I can bear it... I love you..."

"No..." Sakura started.

"Oh, please!" Hyde began to cry extremely annoyed. "I love you! I love you! How many times did I say that to you before? Huh?"

"Never." Sakura replied.

"So what do you guess? I am so scared to lose you! There is nothing in the world for me but you, Sakura. I love you!"

"Oh, cut it out... you repeated "I love you" more times in one minute than in your entire life." Sakura scolded him upset.

"Huh?" Hyde looked at him. "But it’s the truth..."

"Truth... such a strange word coming from the mouth of such a big liar."

"It’s TRUE! Dammit! Sakura, I’ll do anything you want... everything you want... It’s true, true, true!!"

"Ne... Haido..." Tetsu interrupted.

"Huh?"

"You said you were not going to make out at my place..." Tetsu reminded him.

"I’m not making out, I’m confessing!" Hyde protested.

"Looks like next step you will be trying to drag him to bed..." Ken commented. "Ne, Tetsu... does he get your bedroom or the guest room?"

"No, I won’t!" Hyde fumed while Tetsu purposefully stomped his right foot on Ken’s.

"This... is not the right time or place..." Sakura forced himself to speak, and tried to rise.

Hyde returned his gaze to Sakura, and pushed his head softly back to his lap. "No, no, no! Don’t move. Stay there, I’m taking care of you."

"I’m fine."

"You gotta eat..." Hyde admonished and caressed Sakura’s face. "Eat my food..."

"I’ll eat at home."

"Please... ?" Hyde asked. "I made the food thinking of you... How bad can it be to eat my food?"

"Hyde, this will not work... I’m trying my best to forget you."

"Why? We can be together again... please!"

"No. And this is not the right place to hold this discussion..."

"OK, come over to my place then." Hyde urged him.

"Whoa! Haido! You sure act fast! Go, go, go!" Ken encouraged laughing, and Tetsu gave him a meaningful look.

"Uh... not for sex... I mean... to talk... and not bother you..." Hyde blinked and explained.

"Yeah, right..." Ken said laughing and winking at him.

"Really..." Hyde protested.

"Sakura, beware... he will drag you to bed in an instant, and make you go under the steamiest night of sex you’ve ever experienced in your life..." Ken added. Hyde was fuming... he wanted to kill Ken.

"Uh... No, it won’t happen." Sakura said blushing.

"If I were you, I wouldn’t go... Tetsu said earlier that Haido was cooking naked... He’s such a hentai... You might enjoy it too much. You know what they say, too much fun is bad for your health."

"Ken-chan...!!!!" Hyde yelled not knowing what to say... whose side was Ken on?

"You did what...?" Sakura propped himself up and stared at Hyde.

"No... No... It’s not like that... I-I was actually... I... my clothes... were... wet... I was drying them..." He made up a quick excuse.

"Uh... Oh, really? It certainly didn’t look like that." Suddenly Tetsu caught up into Ken’s scheme. He reluctantly decided to go along with it. His rational side told him it was the best thing he could do, if he still wanted to keep his sanity.

"Ever since you are gone, Sakura, Haido has been starving for sex! He is always horny!" Ken added.

"Yeah." Tetsu nodded. "God knows all the hentai things he wants to do to you... He will make you his sex-slave..."

"What are you two talking about?! What the hell....?!" Hyde couldn’t believe his ears.

"Yeah... He even got naked at his place earlier today when I was there." Tetsu added, Ken looked at Tetsu and winked at him smirking.

"No!! That’s not like that! I... I was changing my clothes and Tetsu came in the room!"

Sakura suddenly got the scheme. He realized how Ken and Tetsu wanted him and Haido to work out their problems... whether it was for good or bad, they couldn’t stay like that... not talking to each other. At least, HE couldn’t go on like this with Hyde.

"Let’s go to your place, Haido." Sakura said and got up.

"Un. Wakatta." Hyde said pleased. "You two will pay for this..." he rummaged to his friends.

"Leave the cat here." Tetsu said to Hyde. "Your sneezing will ruin the mood otherwise..."

Hyde nodded smiling. He grabbed his coat and strap bag, and left with Sakura.

"Doiha-chan..." Tetsu called him in a whisper from the door.

"Hai?" Hyde answered smiling brightly. That smile... that damned smile Tetsu loved so much... the sparkle that could make him lose his grasp on reality...

"Just... don’t have sex with him yet... OK? Talk first..." Tetsu whispered.

"Daijoubu, daijoubu... shinpai shinaide, Tet-chan..." Hyde smiled reassuringly and ran after Sakura.

Tetsu closed the door and turned to look at Ken. They both laughed together.

It was all like a stupid TV comedy... the kind of mid afternoon show that was too silly to waste time on. And Tetsu felt content that his rational side had led him up through the situation. He was a businessman, and businessmen had to be rational.

"Those two are such a weird couple..." Ken said shaking his head and still laughing.

"Un." Tetsu nodded and looked down. Yes, his rational side had won. That was good, he figured and nodded in silence. But his sensitive side was crumbling in secrecy. Muted, dumb-folded, restrained and immobilized. Unable to speak out. Rational was better, safer... yeah, definitely.

Ken scrutinized Tetsu for a second. "What, Tetsu?"

"Huh?"

"What’s with that face?"

"What face?"

"Tetsu..."

"Cut it out!"