L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Fall Apart

Episode 4 ~A Memory stolen~

Sakura was sitting at the subway station. He could hardly remember where he was heading for.

"Now... if I ask anyone, they will notice I’m stoned... so I better watch the faces and try to guess where they are going to... But I gotta do it carefully, or they’ll notice and call the cops. I don’t remember if this is the subway that leaves me at Tet-chan’s place..." He said to himself inside his head. His eyes open wide and unfocused. From time to time, he would pretend to be reading a newspaper he had found on the floor.

"How long have I been here, anyway?"

An old lady sat by Sakura’s side.

"Ugh... I better get up before she starts talking..." Sakura thought and he motioned to get up.

"It’s OK, young man, you don’t bother me." The old lady said sweetly.

"Oh, shit! She talked!" He thought.

"You look sad... I bet you’ve had a bad day..." The chatty old lady said smiling.

"Huh?" Sakura tried to focus on the lady’s face.

"Oh... poor young man... you are so good looking... I bet you are sad because of a love affair. She shouldn’t have dumped you..."

"Nani?" Sakura couldn’t believe his ears.

"Daijobu... daijobu... if you talk to her nicely, I’m sure she will understand your feelings... Isn’t it that, young man?"

"Uh... No. ‘SHE’ doesn’t understand anyone’s feelings." Sakura replied bitterly and then admonished himself inside his head for answering.

"Ah... don’t be so stubborn." The old lady smiled at him. "Are you going home? Why don’t you go the other way and visit her?"

"Uh... What way to Shibuya?"

"Oh, my... you are so lost... Not this subway, dearie..."

"Ah... which one?"

"Well, take the red line and get down at the third stop, there, take the green line that says Shibuya."

"Un. Wakatta. Doumo." Sakura bowed and left. "She was stupid, but in the end she was useful."

Sakura sat at the red line subway station and waited for the designated train to arrive. He closed his eyes and pushed his wool cap a little down almost covering them. Images of happy times flashed through his head.

"Otanjoubi omedetou, Haido..." (Happy birthday, Hyde) Sakura whispered softly in Hyde’s ear while they danced slowly in each other’s arms. The music from the jukebox was soft and sensuous, and the silver moonlight cast a ghostly shimmer on them that made that precious moment seem magic... Two years before now.

"Ahh! My sweet lover..." Hyde purred softly, his head on Sakura’s shoulder. Sakura held him tight against his body, caressing his back while they danced to the subtle music.

"You make me so happy, Sakura..."

"Ai shite iru, Haido."

"That is so good, ne, Sakura..."

Sakura pressed Hyde tighter, and kissed the top of his head.

"You are such a good dancer..." Hyde purred against Sakura’s collarbone and kissed it smiling.

"You too..." Sakura smiled in joy. His heart was melting in Hyde’s embrace.

"This is the best dance I’ve ever had, Sakura..."

Sakura kissed the top of Hyde’s head lovingly and tightened his hold.

"I wish it would last forever, Sakura... I wish I could stop time at this very moment... dancing inside this new house... forever... in the moonlight... There is nothing here but you, me and the jukebox..."

"I don’t need anything else, Haido..."

"Me neither..."

Hyde turned a corner after walking long and found himself in front of a gang. He knew he couldn’t run or scream... but still he didn’t know what to do.

"Hey... bitch!" One of the guys screamed.

"Good, he didn’t notice me... poor lady." He said and kept walking while staring at the floor. Suddenly a hand grabbed him by an arm and shook him.

"I’m talking to you, bitch..." The guy said smiling evilly.

"Otoko da..." Hyde answered in a scared, faint voice.

"Hey! Shinichi! It’s a guy!" Another young man screamed.

"Baka mono! You look like a woman!"

"I’m sorry..." Hyde mumbled. He didn’t know what to say.

"You can’t walk here just like that... in those fancy clothes..." The former guy continued.

"Uh? Fancy clothes?" Hyde suddenly realized he was wearing a fur coat.

The young man took Hyde’s left hand and examined his watch.

"Please, don’t take it!" Hyde pleaded pulling his hand back. "It’s a memento from someone special!"

"Your girlfriend?" The young man said.

"His boyfriend!" The other young man yelled laughing his head off. Hyde still didn’t know what to say.

Sakura slowly loosened the embrace that had held them during the dance to stare into Hyde’s eyes smiling. Hyde smiled back, in his usual adorable way. He tilted his head to a side and tucked his hair behind his ear. The music was slowly dying, and soon the jukebox would play another tune.

"This is my first birthday with you... it’s the best until now..." Hyde smiled staring into Sakura’s eyes. Sakura could feel his heart jump with joy.

"I’ve a present for you, birthday boy." Sakura said smiling.

"Really?!" Hyde said grinning startled.

"Close your eyes..."

"OK!" Hyde closed his eyes and smiled, his face leant towards Sakura’s. Sakura gently kissed his lips and taking his right hand in his, he put a small package in it.

"Mmm..." Hyde purred and opened his eyes. "What is it, Sakura?"

"See for yourself."

Hyde tore the package anxiously, and saw a velvety blue box with the sign ‘Cartier’ on it.

"Cartier! That’s... expensive jewelry!"

"Open it, pretty one." Sakura smiled holding Hyde loosely by the waist.

Hyde nodded and opened the box. It was a sparkling silver wristwatch.

"Please... please... don’t..." Hyde pleaded walking backwards.

"This will teach you a lesson..." the guy said as he pulled out a knife, and began unhooking Hyde’s watch with it.

"Please! Please! I beg you!" Hyde tried not to cry while pleading, his left hand caught in the gangster’s grip.

"... You can’t carry these things in this kind of poor neighborhoods... now, next time you will remember, rich fag." He said and threw the wristwatch at the other guy sitting a couple meters away.

"Please, please... give it back... please... it’s very important for me!" Hyde choked trying not to cry.

"Tell your boyfriend to buy you another! I need it too!" The guy laughed walking away.

"Please! Shinichi! Whatever your name is! Please give it back! I can give you tickets for L’Arc~en~Ciel shows... backstage passes... anything you want, first row, if you give it back!"

"What’s that, man? Laruku-what? I’d rather keep this... my dealer will like it better than a piece of paper." Daisuke said and turning the corner he disappeared.

Hyde fell on his knees and cried. "I’m pathetic and stupid..."

"Yeah, you are." A voice said behind him.

Hyde turned his head suddenly. A very young gaijin girl stood there looking at him, grinning. Dark circles under her eyes, heavy makeup. Her clothes were highly provocative.

"I want the tickets and backstage passes..." She said, and pulled out a knife.

"Oh... OK... OK..." Hyde crawled back.

"Why do you have those things?"

"...Cuz... cuz... I work... for them..." Hyde said.

"Ah. I see." The girl answered and walked towards Hyde, taking him by the collar she put the knife under his jaw. "Hand them, then. I know one of the guys in that band, and I’d like to see him play."

"I... I don’t have them here, but I’ll..."

"You what...? Liar!" She said pressing the knife against Hyde’s jaw.

"I can give you a signed card, and they will give them to you!!! At the managing office!!! Please, don’t kill me!!!" Hyde began to stutter in fear.

"Wait... I know you..." she said and dragged Hyde by the collar towards the street light. "You are the vocalist!!" She screamed and laughed.

Hyde blushed and nodded. "A fan!" He thought. "She will help me."

"So, you are rich. Give me money, man... and the tickets and backstage passes..." She ordered. Hyde nodded discouraged, and handed her all his money, and a signed card requesting the things he had promised, on behalf of him.

"Good guy. Coat and cell phone too."

Hyde handed his coat and cell phone.

"Tell Sakura Karen said hi."

"Sakura?"

"Yeah, your drummer, asshole."

"I know who Sakura is! In fact, I’m looking for him."

"Uh... He must be screwing around... as usual."

"Where?"

"Anywhere... and you better get the hell out of here, man. Or you might be sorry."

"I already am..."

"Yeah, well... wait until your pretty-girl looks get your asshole busted." She snapped and walked away.

Hyde got on his feet and ran away, trying to choke his tears.

"I’ll always keep this watch, Sakura... I’ll wear no other!" Hyde said smiling and hugging Sakura tightly.

"I’m happy you like your present, pretty one."

"I love it! I totally love it!" Hyde said putting his wrist against the silver light and making it sparkle.

Sakura held him tight and they kept dancing, Hyde’s head on Sakura’s shoulder, his eyes fixed on the wristwatch.

Hyde reached a corner gasping for air. He bowed beside a street lamp and tried to catch his breath again. His eyes were flooded in tears, his throat ached, and he punched the street light column until his fists bled, in middle of a fit of impotence and sorrow.

Sakura managed to reach Tetsu’s place and he rang the bell.

"Hai?"

"Tet-chan. It’s me."

"Sakura! Finally!"

"Haido ha?"

"He didn’t arrive yet."

"Oh, he must have overslept. Open please."

Hyde walked towards Tetsu’s place in tears. Now and then he would rub his eyes with his arm, and kept walking fast and irritated.

"Twenty more blocks, dammit!" He cursed.

"Yo, Ken!" Sakura greeted.

"Uh... man... you are so fucking late..." Ken complained while munching on a sandwich.

"Yeah, I’m sorry, I got lost."

"Lost in whose bed?"

"Ken, stop it!" Tetsu scolded him.

"The fearless leader doesn’t like dirty talk... hehehehe" Ken laughed.

"Yeah... better discuss this later..." Sakura grinned and winked at Ken. Ken stared at him.

"So, you and Haido are history?" Ken asked. Tetsu glared at Ken. He couldn’t believe his friend was so rude.

"Uh... nah... he’s still good sometimes."

"So basically you keep fucking him." Ken kept on, and Tetsu shoved a book at him.

"Hey! Tet-chan! Stop that!" Ken protested.

"Yeah, well... but he’s a nervous wreck lately, so I need other outlets..."

"Ah... I see... Funny. I always thought he was the jealous type."

"Uh... OK. Let’s talk band matters." Sakura snapped and sat beside Ken.

"First band matter would be I can’t have you and Haido have lovers’ quarrels that affect the band, so you either work on your differences or break up, but don’t mess with our job." Tetsu snapped irritated.

"Uh. OK, Tet-chan. I’ll tell him not to be a brat about it."

"That’s not it, Sakura!" Tetsu replied.

"I don’t want to discuss my sex life now."

"Yeah, it’s no fun if Haido is not here..." Ken commented, and Tetsu hit him with a book again.

"Got some wine, Tet-chan?" Sakura asked smiling.

"Yes. I’ll get you a glass." Tetsu replied and walked towards the kitchen.

"Make it a scotch, better..." Sakura yelled.

"Sure." Tetsu replied.

Hyde walked wearily dragging his feet towards Tetsu’s home. He kept rubbing his left wrist and sobbing, his knuckles stained in dried blood.

"It’s like that thing... the ghost leg or something... I can still feel the wristwatch even if they took it..." Hyde thought. "Five more blocks..." He sighed.

"You liked it?" Hyde asked impishly while rubbing Sakura’s stomach.

"Un." Sakura smiled keeping his eyes closed, gasping in bed as Hyde crawled back to level his body with his lover’s.

"I love blowing you..." Hyde replied playfully.

"Give me five, and I’ll return the favor... birthday boy."

"Un. Wakatta." Hyde said and kissed his lover’s shoulders gently.

Sakura wrapped his left arm around Hyde’s shoulders and pulled him on top of him. Hyde laughed and propped himself up sitting naked on Sakura’s stomach. His legs brushing Sakura’s sides.

"Look at this pretty wristwatch, Sakura..." Hyde said amused.

"Oh, it’s very pretty, Haido... Who gave it to you?" Sakura went on with the game.

"My Sakura." Hyde replied grinning pleased.

"You like it?"

"I love it!"

"And how do you like Sakura?"

"Sakura too!"

Sakura took Hyde by the waist and pulled him closer to his face, then lifting him slightly he began kissing his groin as Hyde caressed his head and purred.

Sakura’s tongue traveled up and down Hyde’s most intimate parts, causing him to moan as he ran his fingers through his lover’s soft shiny black hair. Hyde tilted his head back and his own long hair brushed Sakura’s stomach tickling it.

Sakura laughed softly, and entangled his fingers loosely in Hyde’s wavy brown mane.

"Ahh... hai...Sakurahh...tomaranai yo..." (tomaranai = don’t stop) Hyde urged him in his husky voice, full of desire.

Sakura didn’t plan to stop, and holding Hyde firmly by his buttocks he caught the smaller man’s arousal in his mouth and began to suck from it gently, licking all his length lovingly, tasting him as he heard him moan louder and abandon himself to this sweet pleasure.

The treat lasted several minutes... Sakura purred as he blew Hyde vehemently, and Hyde moaned and screamed enjoying it. His mind was a blank as he abandoned himself to the immense delight his lover was giving him.

Sakura pulled from Hyde’s arousal with his mouth, provoking him, causing his body to tense, he could feel Hyde’s hand holding tightly to his shoulders, his body leant forwards, his breath almost that of an exhausted man. And the drummer gave his lover a last strong pull with his mouth before Hyde came screaming on top of his lungs.

"Sakuraaaa...." Hyde loosened his body as Sakura released him, and caught him by his armpits, laying him down in bed. "You are so damned good..." Hyde whispered, trying to regain his breath.

"I adore you, little one..." Sakura said cleaning his mouth with a disposable handkerchief.

"Haido is too late..." Tetsu thought, and took the kitchen phone to call him. Hyde didn’t answer. Tetsu hung up and called Hyde’s cell phone. Disconnected.

"I’ve a bad feeling." Tetsu said hanging the phone and biting his lip. Ken was visibly worried too, even if he didn’t say a word.

Ken and Sakura stayed in Tetsu’s dining room talking idly, and suddenly Ken asked Sakura to follow him to the terrace.

"What? It’s cold outside."

"Don’t worry, what I have to tell you will make you hot..." Ken mumbled at Sakura and then, turning to face the kitchen he called out "Tet-chan... We’re going for cigarettes. We’ll be right back."

"OK, guys." Tetsu answered from the kitchen. He couldn’t get his mind off Hyde.

Ken and Sakura closed the door behind them and went upstairs.

"So... Ken-chan... What is it?" Sakura asked shivering in the cold.

"You tell me." Ken said lighting a cigarette.

"What? You said we come up here!"

"What the fuck is happening between you and Haido?"

"That’s not your business..."

"It is. You are both my friends. And it affects my job too. So you better speak. I’m not as sweet and patient as Tetsu is."

"Man... it’s something I don’t wish to talk about."

"OK. Say... Would you speak if I beat the crap out of you?"

"Oe! Oe! What’s the matter Ken-kun?!"

"Speak now!"

"OK! Haido and I had a fight... six months ago... very bad fight..."

"So? Lovers usually fight, and then they make up in the middle of one night of torrid, earth shattering sex... what’s the big deal...?"

"I can’t gather myself to forgive him... even if I told him I would..."

"What could he possibly do to annoy you so much? Cheat on you?"

"Exactly."

"Oh... come on... you keep cheating on him."

"It’s not cheating. He knows about it. But I, I didn’t know."

"It’s cheating anyway! Come on! You used to be sooo in love with each other... you used to be the ‘ultimate gay couple’..."

"You are so blunt. I’m not gay, neither is Haido."

"Yeah, right."

"As I said, he cheated on me too."

"Uh-huh?"

"Yes. He said it was over. But the truth is I just couldn’t stand it. He almost dumped me... He forgot everything about us, kept missing dates, he even forgot my birthday... suddenly I didn’t exist anymore... He began making jokes about me, laughing behind my back... he became cruel and cold. I found out the reason, even if I had suspected it. I confronted him with it... He gave up on her, and came back to me... but... but... you see, Ken-chan... I just can’t make the image of those cold eyes of him go away... they keep tagging to me, all the time... No matter how much I try to make them disappear, how much I try to numb myself... I can’t forgive him... I just can’t... I hate him. This new Haido took away the Haido I loved... forever..."

"Uh... well... man... you’ve cheated on him before... I mean... since the beginning... He might have felt the same, you know?"

"I was never seriously involved with anyone but him... But Haido... he fell for her... He put me in ridiculous because of her..."

"But he stopped seeing her! He came back to you, he apologized, he jumped back in bed with you and so on..."

"Yeah. I think because she dumped him... otherwise he would have dumped me."

Sakura’s eyes were full of tears.

"Uh... Sakura... Haido is totally head over heels for you. He tripped once, OK. But he’s back with you, he’s happy with you. He loves you very much..."

"No. You see? In three years... he never said he loved me."

"You probably were so stoned you didn’t listen. Or you probably are so stoned now you don’t remember."

"Haido just wants attention, satisfaction. I loved him deeply, more than everything... He’s mean and selfish..."

"No, man. He’s not. He’s hard to deal with, OK. Has a big ego... OK. He’s arrogant, bossy, bad tempered, brat, conceited... uh... many other things... OK. But he’s not mean."

"I’m freezing my butt, Ken..."

"Let’s go back to Tet-chan’s." Ken nodded and letting his half smoked cigarette drop he stepped on it before turning away.