L'Arc en Ciel Fanfiction .::. Fall Apart

Episode 5 ~Lies and Fear~

Hyde stood in front of the building where Tetsu’s apartment was. He rubbed his left wrist and tried to choke the anguish in his throat. His knuckles hurt. His body was sore, and he was getting a terrible headache. He didn’t know if Sakura was there, and what he would tell him if he was.

Night was slowly spreading behind the sea. Hyde stared through the window lost in his thoughts, waiting for Sakura who had gone for cigarettes.

"Tonight... tonight I will tell him... under the moonlight... I will gather myself and tell him I love him... Ai shite iru, Sakura... that’s what I’ll say... yes..." He repeated inside his mind, his eyes fascinated by the wonderful landscape...

"It will be the perfect scenery, Sakura... I’ve lost myself to you..." Hyde smiled to himself.

Sakura entered the room quietly, and walked up to Hyde without making a noise, then he suddenly tickled him on the waist.

"Kyaahh!!"

"Hahaha! You are ticklish!" Sakura laughed.

"Big goof! Don’t do that, you scared me!" Hyde protested and hugged Sakura.

"What were you so concentrated on, pretty one?"

"I was thinking of you..."

"Oh... how sweet..."

"I’ve decided I want to marry you."

"Come on!"

"Hahahaha! I scared you for a moment, ne?" Hyde said poking Sakura’s chest with his right index.

"Yeah, you did." Sakura said and kissed Hyde’s lips gently. Hyde closed his eyes and smiled.

"Ne... Sakura... When do we eat?"

"Not now. Dinner will be served later... Let’s go swimming, Haido..." Sakura suggested.

"I can’t."

"You can’t swim?"

"I can swim, but I can’t go swimming cuz someone forgot to pack my swimsuit..." Hyde looked at Sakura making a funny angry face and pursing his lips.

"You don’t need a swimsuit... go in this gown you are wearing..."

"I can’t swim in a gown!"

"You’ll take it off when we get there..."

"Ahh hentai..." Hyde said playfully.

Sakura wrapped his arms around Hyde’s waist. "So, wanna come swimming naked with me?"

"Hai... anata." Hyde answered and winked. Sakura smiled at him pleased.

"OK." Hyde shook his head. "If he is there, I won’t make a fuss, I will act naturally and then I’ll slaughter him at home." He rang the bell.

"Hai?"

"Tet-chan... Open the door please."

"Haido!!!"

"Yeah, who did you think it was? God?"

"It’s the devil!" Tetsu was overly happy to hear Hyde’s voice.

"Oh, come on, open now!"

A few minutes after Hyde entered the room. He spotted Sakura sitting on a couch.

"Ah... Sakura. Karen says hi." Hyde snapped as he took off his shoes.

"OK." Sakura said, a little startled to hear that comment.

"Give me a smoke." Hyde asked him.

Sakura threw his cigarette case to him, and Hyde caught it in midair.

"You look like a married couple already." Ken commented looking at them.

Hyde sat down by Sakura and returned him his cigarette case.

"I’m awfully sorry, Tet-chan. I... had some stuff to do."

"I know." Tetsu answered, concerned.

"What happened to your hands, Haido?" Ken pointed. Sakura looked at Hyde and the vocalist hid his hands immediately.

"Nothing."

"Let me see." Sakura said and pulled from Hyde’s arms.

"It’s nothing, dammit!"

Tetsu walked towards Hyde and crouched in front of him. Then he spoke to him in his softest voice:

"Nobody will scold you, Haido... tell us what happened to your hands... and why you took so long to get here."

Sakura pulled Hyde’s right hand and examined the bruises and wounds on his knuckles. "What did you do, silly head? Punch a wall?"

"Y-yeah."

"Show me your other hand."

"No, the other hand is OK. I’m right-handed..."

Sakura pulled Hyde’s left hand in his.

"Whe-where’s the wristwatch?"

Hyde broke down and cried, Tetsu caught him in his arms, puzzled.

"Haido! Haido!" Tetsu shook him mildly. "Haido, you were mugged?"

Hyde nodded choked by tears.

"Oh, man... not that watch..." Sakura rolled his eyes.

"I-I’m sorry, Sakura... I couldn’t do anything... they had a knife and..."

"Karen did it?" Sakura asked wrapping his arm around Hyde’s shoulders and pulling him up from Tetsu’s arms. Hyde could feel the warmth of Sakura’s body against his, and this sensation was like a balm for his sore soul and body.

"No... She came afterwards... She just shook me a little, took my money, my coat and my cell phone..."

"Ah... Karen... Dammit. I’ll get those back, pretty one."

"No... Don’t worry... I only want the watch back..." Hyde sobbed, and Sakura hugged him tightly.

Tetsu and Ken looked at each other and smiled... some sort of a mixed blessing seemed to have happened.

"You are OK, Haido? Anything else happened?" Sakura asked.

"You can tell us, Haido, we are your friends..." Tetsu encouraged him still crouching in front of his small friend.

"No... Nothing else."

"Where exactly did you go, Haido?" Tetsu asked.

"I went to..."

"Nevermind." Sakura interrupted. "I know where he went. You were looking for me, baby?"

Hyde nodded and sobbed.

"I’m here, pretty one... I’m here."

Hyde hugged Sakura tightly. "Don’t leave me Sakura..."

"I won’t."

"Well... guys... I think we will discuss the next album tomorrow after practice..." Tetsu said and winked at Ken, who winked back.

"Yeah." Ken said. "Two horny people out of four is a bad proportion..."

Tetsu sunk his head suddenly and tried to hold himself not to kill Ken.

"What, Tet-chan?" Ken asked.

"Just... Forget it!" Tetsu roared in fury, he was fuming.

Hyde chuckled inside Sakura’s embrace.

"Let’s go home, Haido. I’ll treat those wounds." Sakura said and kissed Hyde’s forehead.

"Un." Hyde answered and got up with him.

"Ne... Sakura..." Hyde asked while both musicians walked back to Hyde’s apartment.

"Hai?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"You mean more than usual?"

"Un." Hyde lowered his eyes.

"Yeah. I am."

"Ah... I’m sorry..."

"Listen, Haido: I’m tired of your ‘I’m-sorries’, you always screw up and then come up to me saying ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’."

"I’m so... I mean... I don’t mean to..."

"You know what? Right now I find it hard to believe that you don’t do this on purpose."

"How can I possibly get mugged on purpose!?"

"Because you give a damn about me or my presents!"

"Sakura, don’t speak nonsense!"

"You are such a son of a bitch! You don’t care about anything! You are just concerned about yourself!"

"No! Sakura! It’s not so!" Hyde pleaded.

"Shut up and walk... I haven’t beaten the crap out of you only because Ken and Tetsu were there..."

"How can you say that?!"

"Shut up!"

"I will do anything you want to make up for it! I’ll get the watch back!"

"Yeah? How? If you do get it back, I must assume you gave it to someone..."

"Of course not!"

"You probably did..."

"I didn’t!! Sakura!!"

"You are the type to do that..."

"Of course not! Sakura!" Hyde pulled from Sakura’s coat in despair.

"Don’t touch me or I’ll kill you! Kisama... Son of a bitch! You, big piece of shit!"

"Don’t speak to me like that! If it were so, how come I got to meet this Karen!?"

"You probably gave it to her! She will screw anyone for money!"

"I didn’t, Sakura! Please!"

Sakura shook Hyde violently. "Shut up and walk, bastard! And mind what you do or I’ll beat you up so much, not even your mother will be able to recognize your remains!"

"Sakura... Doushite...?"

Sakura slapped Hyde strongly, right where they were, the power of the blow causing Hyde to stumble backwards. The dry sound it had made reverberated in the empty street and echoed, undying, inside Hyde’s head. Sakura turned and kept walking. Hyde stood a few meters away from him, aghast, pressing his hand against his burning cheek and staring as Sakura walked on.

"I can’t... I can’t go home with him... I just... can’t... he will kill me..." Hyde thought crying. His body was paralyzed in terror, anguish and pain.

"Come here!" Sakura yelled demanding.

"No... Sakura..." Hyde pleaded, his voice barely audible.

Sakura turned and glared at him fuming.

"Come here, you bastard! You want me to beat you up right where you are or you prefer privacy?"

"No... No! Sakura! Please..." Hyde walked backwards awkwardly.

"Come here now, or I’m coming for you!" Sakura yelled furious on top of his lungs.

Hyde was terrified. He wanted to run away, yet, he couldn’t.

"Sakura... Please... please... let’s talk this out... please..."

"Talk? I’ll make you talk... Come here right this minute!"

Hyde wanted to pray, to run away, to disappear, to cry... but he couldn’t move. Suddenly he saw Sakura running towards him, and terror loosened his legs.

"No!" Hyde turned and began to run as fast as he could, begging in silence for his life... blindly... aimlessly... and in shocking fear. He felt Sakura pulling from his sweater, and in a abrupt move, he tried to take it off and ran farther, but Sakura was faster, and knocked him down on the street, holding him to the ground by the shoulders. Hyde cried desperately, dread creeping up his body.

"Please! Sakura please don’t hurt me! I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you, please!!"

Sakura held Hyde to the floor, his body on top of the small vocalist’s and grabbing him by the neck he began to choke him while he yelled and insulted him.

Hyde gasped and tried to get rid of Sakura’s grip... he tried to scream, but the drummer’s strong hands were more powerful than his. Hyde’s vision was blurry and he couldn’t breath, he could hear Sakura’s voice growing more and more distant... until finally Hyde passed out.

Six months ago... Hyde used to joke about hell... until he came to find out what hell could be like. Six months ago... Hyde’s world changed forever after a guilty mistake.

"Ah... Haido... you are back." Sakura said from the couch, his eyes fixed on the TV screen.

"Uh. Yeah. Tadaima."

"Where were you?" Sakura asked in an even tone, without taking his eyes from the TV screen, again.

"Went for a walk..." Hyde said distractedly, taking off his shoes, and then hanging his strap back from a peg.

"For a walk..." Sakura repeated.

"Uh... yeah..." Hyde shrugged.

"You can fuck while you walk?" Sakura asked and stared at Hyde, his eyes were red in fury. Hyde was shocked and his complexion went pale in an instant.

"Na... nani..?"

"Tiffany’s bracelet..."

Hyde stepped backwards and stopped against the wall. "Ah... OK. You caught me. It means nothing really... I... I... just went out with this person a couple times..."

Sakura walked up to Hyde rapidly and grabbing him by the neck he shook the small vocalist.

"You are cheating on me?!"

"Wha...What the hell!!? Sakura!! You keep cheating on me, who are you to talk!!"

Sakura slapped Hyde and pushed him against the wall.

"I never bought an occasional lover a Tiffany’s bracelet!"

"Uh... Ah... I’m not involved with anyone, Sakura!"

"Bastard! Stop lying to me! This is why you’ve been so cold to me lately, ne?"

"Sakura! You are choking me!" Hyde screamed trying to force Sakura’s hands away from his neck.

"You fucking liar! You just can’t hold yourself if anyone flatters you enough, can you? Was it fun to stick your dick inside her? You missed that?"

"Sakura! Let me go!! It was a mistake! I’m sorry!! I won’t do it again!!" Hyde pleaded.

"Was it fun, Haido? Did you miss it? How come a fag like you gets to fuck with a girl?!"

"Sakura don’t do this!! I won’t do it again!!"

"How many times did you fuck her, you fag?!"

"I’m not a fag!" Hyde protested almost choking.

"Yes, you are!! I keep fucking you up your asshole, fag! What do you call that?!" Sakura yelled holding Hyde by the neck and hitting him against the wall.

"Sakura iiya!! Dame!! Iyamete yo!!" Hyde pleaded gasping.

"Get out of here, damned fag!! You are so selfish and perverse!!"

"Sakura! Please, stop! And this is my home!"

"Fine!" Sakura released Hyde and grabbing a few of his belongings he walked away slamming the door.

"Sa... Sakura..." Hyde fell to the floor on his knees gasping for air.

Hyde woke up in his own bed. His jaw and neck hurt, and his body was sore. He got up with effort and walked out of the room. As he entered the dining room he saw Sakura lying on the sofa. The drummer’s eyes were unfocused, his face was pale... Hyde caught sight of a syringe on the floor next to the sofa, and he saw the rubber band tied around Sakura’s left arm.

"Sa... Sakura..." Hyde rushed towards him, he kneeled on the floor and untied the rubber band from Sakura’s arm.

"Please, tell me you didn’t overdose! Please! Sakura!" Hyde cried and shook Sakura strongly. Sakura shifted his head towards him and stared blankly into his direction.

"Haido?"

"Hai, hai koishii... I’m here... I’m here beside you..."

"Drop dead, Haido..." Sakura said and began laughing madly. "Drop dead before I get on my feet and kill you in my own hands! Traitor!"

Hyde got up shocked. He picked up the syringe and got rid of it. All his body was shaking in panic. He grabbed his strap bag and keys and left his home right away.

As he got to the street he began to run aimlessly, with his face scorched by tears.