Episode 7 ~Nowhere to run~

Next Morning Tetsu was startled to see the studio lights on, and Hyde’s bag by the door.

"What... What the hell is going on? Haido is never this early... and we don’t need the main entrance light on in broad daylight!" Tetsu was puzzled.

He walked inside the studio and saw nobody there. He went to the little, improvised kitchen, opened several doors... the place was empty. Finally he found Hyde curled up on a bed, covered by his coat.

"Haido?" Tetsu shook him mildly. Hyde woke up suddenly.

"What are you doing here?" Tetsu asked softly.

"Uh... stayed up late working..." Hyde said in a slurry voice, rubbing his eyes and getting up. His back hurt.

"Sakura?"

"I don’t know." Hyde answered trying to push the heavy feeling that came back in a blast with Tetsu's words.

"You argued again?"

"Yeah... sorta..." Hyde relented.

"This has to stop, Haido..."

"Un. Wakatta."

"What’s that on your neck?" Tetsu asked trying to examine Hyde. The small vocalist moved backwards instantly.

"Huh? What?"

"A bruise."

"Uh... I dunno. Probably I tugged from the coat while asleep."

"If you tugged that much, you’d be dead by now, Haido!"

"Then I dunno! Probably from yesterday’s hold up."

"I see. You went to the police yet?"

"No. I can’t."

"How come?"

"Cuz... they’d find out about Sakura... listen, Tet-chan... Sakura is back into drugs, I’m trying to get him out of it... I’m doing my best..." Hyde lied. "He’ll be back to his usual self... just please, don’t kick him out."

"I see... so that’s why you are fighting... ne?"

"Yeah." Hyde lied again. He couldn’t tell Tetsu what was going on. He didn’t dare to.

Ken arrived in the studio humming.

"Yo, guys! This time I’m late!" He said looking at his wristwatch. "Nuh... I’m in time... funny."

"Haido slept here." Tetsu explained. Everyone knew Hyde was the one to be always late.

"Ah... I see." Ken looked at them concerned. "Where’s Sakura?"

"At home." Hyde said.

"Uh... well, call him, we need him here." Ken snapped and lit up a cigarette. Then he began taking his guitar out of its case.

"Un." Hyde said and walked trembling towards the phone. Tetsu snatched the receiver away from Hyde’s hands as he decided to talk himself.

"Hm?"

"Sakura?"

"Yeah."

"I’m Tetsu. It’s late, come to the studio."

"Un. Wakatta." Sakura said and hung up.

Hyde sat on a bench and held his knees between his arms, looking down at the floor and shaking.

"What’s the matter, Haido?" Tetsu asked very worried.

"I’m so cold... I think I caught a flu." Hyde lied. He was terrified of meeting Sakura again.

"Maybe..." Tetsu nodded. "You’ve been here all night..." He put his hand on Hyde’s forehead.

"You better go home, Haido. We’ll rehearse without you, until you get better." Tetsu said, his voice showing quite concern.

"Thank you, Tet-chan..." Hyde said and putting on his coat, he walked out, taking his bag with him.

 

Hyde walked along the street, the opposite way to his home. He didn’t want to meet with Sakura, so he entered a coffee shop two blocks from the studio, and stayed there, watching through the window and drinking coffee for some long time.

At about noon, he paid and left the coffee shop, looking at everywhere as he walked out, paranoid of bumping into his lover.

He rushed himself into a bookshop, and from there, he looked at the people coming and going in the streets. Later, he got the courage to run towards the library, and stayed there the whole afternoon.

"Dear visitors..." the voice in the speaker began evenly. "In fifteen minutes we will be closing the library for today. Please, return your books and fetch your belongings..." Hyde got up from his desk. He was reading a very good book. ‘A season in Hell’ by Arthur Rimbaud. He slowly walked to the counter and returned it. Then, grabbing his stuff, he walked out of the library.

"I can’t go back home..." Hyde mumbled alone. "I’m too scared to go there... but I can’t turn to Tet-chan... he doesn’t know... I don’t know how to begin..." Hyde tried to keep the tears from falling down his cheeks. "And after all... maybe I deserve this in the end... he will probably say I deserve this for cheating on Sakura..."

Suddenly he caught sight of a payphone, and walked up to it. He began dialing his home number, but stopped. Hung up, and began dialing Tetsu’s number... but he stopped again.

"I’ve no one... no one in the world..." He was about to break down and cry. "What’s the fucking use of being famous... nobody wants you when you have problems..."

Hyde began dialing his parents’ number. It would cost him his whole calling card. He hadn’t brought any other along.

"Mom?" Hyde asked.

"Sonny! My prince!" His mother chirped on the other side of the phone.

"Mom! Mom!" Hyde began to cry on the phone.

"Dear, what’s the matter? Are you OK?" His mother asked worried.

Hyde remembered he had never confessed his parents he had a male lover.

"Mom... I... I... well, you see... I was mugged..." He said.

"Oh! Dear! You have to go to the police right now!

"Yes, yes... I know..."

"Prince... are you OK? Are you hurt?"

"No, mom... I’m fine... daijobu... shinpai shinaide..."

"You are crying, baby!"

"Yes... I’m scared mom..."

"Baby... don’t let anything scare you. Do what you have to do, go to the police and tell them!"

"I’m too scared mom. I’m scared to go back home."

"Baby... listen to me... Go to the police, and tell them. Also ask them to take you home and check on you, in case the burglars want to do something... please honey, be careful... don’t let anyone hurt you, my prince..."

"I will be careful, mom. Thank you."

"I love you, my prince... call me when you get home."

"I will mom. Love you too."

Hyde hung up and walked towards a cafe. He sat down and ordered a cappuccino. "I’ll go back home... he can’t kick me away from my own house..." Hyde said to himself, and sipping his cappuccino, he cursed himself for being such an idiot.

Sakura arrived in Hyde’s apartment and walked in. He checked around the house and realized Hyde was not there, so he went to the kitchen to cook himself dinner.

"He will come back." Sakura said smirking. "He will come back to me like he always does... begging for forgiveness... trying to drag me into his fucked up glamorous world of lies and self-adoration..."

Half an hour later, the tall, dark-haired man sat in front of the TV and began chewing on his dinner. He looked at the grandfather clock Hyde had placed in the dining room... a quarter to nine... Hyde would arrive at any minute.

Hyde walked around his neighborhood languidly. He didn’t dare to return home, even if in his head he repeated the same litany he had said to himself countless times by then:

"He can’t kick me out of my house. He has to drop this attitude. He has to understand I love him. He has to understand he has cheated on me too many times and I forgave him each and every one..."

But his words failed at giving him the guts to return home... and he kept walking.

"And what’s this thing with drugs... lately?! He always did them, but lately... it’s out of control! I remember how I found out... stupid me... I had been living with him for... what... over six months? Yeah... must have been around eight months by then..."

 

Hyde had entered the bedroom quietly. The lights were off, he thought Sakura was sleeping.

"My sweet lover..." He thought. "You sleep like a angel... and here comes the devil to wake you from your pretty dreams... hehehe... and drag you into a hot passionate night of unforgettable sex... hehehe... I’m so horny..." Hyde chuckled to himself as he turned on the light. The sight before him left him aghast.

"Sa-Sakura!! What the hell are you doing?!" Hyde yelled.

Sakura was sitting on the bed in darkness, a rubber band tied around his left arm; he was slowly injecting something into his veins.

"Turn off the lights, Haido!" Sakura grumbled.

"What the hell is that?!"

"Are you blind or just plain stupid?"

"Please don’t tell me it’s heroin!"

"OK... so... I’m diabetic..." Sakura said absent-mindedly.

"You are?" Hyde asked.

"Of course not, baka! It IS heroin!"

"No! Sakura! Why are you doing this?"

"Eases the pain. Now turn off the fucking light and go play with your playstation." The words echoed in Hyde’s head... he suddenly felt so immature and stupid. He turned off the light and walked towards the bed, sitting by Sakura.

"Please, Sakura... don’t do it... I’ll ease your pain... I’ll help you... just tell me what it is, and I’ll help you..." He said in his softest voice.

"Haido... you are so silly... you sound like a school girl..."

"Please, Sakura..."

"Don’t preach to me, Haido... if you want to say something, say it after you try it and dislike it." Sakura snapped.

"Sakura, I don’t have to try it to know it’s bad. Please, Sakura-chan... Don’t hurt yourself like this."

Sakura took the needle off his vein, and released the rubber band. He laid his head back on a pillow and grinning in the dark he stared at Hyde.

"I dare you." Sakura said.

"Don’t dare me... please, Sakura... Where is the rest of this shit?"

"You want it?"

"Yeah, to get rid of it."

"Oh, I won’t let you do that, pretty one."

"Please, Sakura... We’ll see a doctor... you must overcome this..."

"What? Overcome what? This pleasant feeling? No way!"

"Please Sakura."

Sakura pushed Hyde onto the bed and pinned him down to it. "Let’s see if you keep your preaching after you’ve tried it... gone to Heaven and back..."

"No! Sakura! Stop!"

Sakura immobilized Hyde against the bed, and tied a rubber band on Hyde’s left arm.

"OK." Hyde thought. "I’ll let him do it... and then he will listen to me. One shot can’t do me much wrong..."

Sakura rubbed Hyde’s swollen vein under the rubber band with his thumb, and then, injected the remains of the drug in the syringe into his lover’s bloodstream.

"See, pretty one? It feels great, doesn’t it? All the pain wears off... like magic..."

Hyde felt dizzy.

"Stuff is changing... Sakura..."

"Yes... I know... relax." Sakura said as he began to undo the smaller man’s pants, and tugging from them he pulled them off.

"I feel weird... Sakura... I don’t like this!"

"You will... you will..." Sakura smirked, as he took off his own pants, and began caressing Hyde’s crotch slowly.

"No! Sakura! What is this?!"

"This... my bishounen... is heaven..."

"No! Saku-Sakura!!" Hyde yelled, as he felt Sakura’s length going inside him strongly, invading his body, causing him to shake and scream, ravaging him. He felt helpless... unable to fight or resist... unable to regain control... unable to do anything as the whole room expanded itself, breathed, and changed colors and lights, following the rhythm of Sakura’s powerful thrusts. Hyde knew it had to hurt... but somehow he couldn’t feel it.

"We are not sharing this... this is not... love..." Hyde tried to scream. But his strength and consciousness abandoned him.

He woke up the next morning with the worst headache of his life, and everything was in pain from his waist down. He couldn’t remember anything beyond that point. Sakura was cooking breakfast as if nothing had happened. Hyde wanted to believe it had all been but a bad dream... however it had not.

 

"But I forgave you... Sakura..." Hyde said sobbing as he kept walking around his neighborhood.

Sakura smashed a blue glass ashtray against the wall with fury.

"There go your babies, piece of shit!" He yelled. "Where the fuck are you? You are probably fucking some groupies!!"

He took a blue glass dolphin and smashed it against the wall.

"Why the hell you are not here!? Son of a bitch!!" Sakura yelled on top of his lungs. He took Hyde’s picture of his parents, a photo the small vocalist kept on a cupboard, and forcefully threw it against the window, piercing the glass and causing the photo Hyde loved so much to fall to the street, several floors below.

"Come here begging on your knees!! Bastard!!" Sakura was out of his mind, yelling on top of his lungs.

Suddenly he caught sight of the phone, and walked towards it. He grinned evilly and dialed a number.

"Takashi...?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah."

"Get me a whore. And some of the good stuff... I’ll pay you. Got paper and pencil? This is the address..."

 

Hyde stood in front of a clothes shop. He wasn’t one to be raving about clothes, but he had nothing better to do... or rather... there was nothing else he dared to do on that chilly night.

"Ah... Tet-chan would knock on the door until they open for him! Hahaha! Or just plainly camp here..." He mused and tried to laugh.

"I bet he’d like that shirt..." Hyde commented shielding his eyes with his right hand and pressing his face to the window. "...coming to think of it, I like it too... Maybe I’ll buy it tomorrow. Maybe I’ll buy two... one for me and one for Tet-chan... He must be one size larger than me... maybe two."

Hyde slowly walked towards the next window.

"Ah... Nice sweater. Grey and white... what does it say? Uh..." He slowly deciphered the foreign writing on it.

"I could buy this one too... Che-vi-gnon?... Hmmm... French..." He shrugged. "The thin stripes are OK. Classy." He walked towards the next shop.

"Ahhh Doc Martens! I need about... uh... four-centimeter heels at least... I won’t make it 20 centimeters like Tet-chan does... ugh... how can he bear that? He’ll sprain his ankle on stage one of these days... I always get sore feet in those pumps..." He smirked, his mind was struggling to think of something happy.

"Wow! That shirt is so... Ken-chan! I’ll buy him that one... uhm... he must be about... 3 or 4 sizes bigger than me... hehehe... maybe more... pink! He laughed staring at a purple chiffon shirt."

The smell of a nearby restaurant caught his nose, and Hyde walked towards it slowly.

"Food... food... I’m starving..." He said to himself, and entered the little restaurant.

He ordered an abundant dish of curry rice and a bottle of red wine.

"Itadakimasu!" He thought grinning and began going at his meal.

 

Sakura opened the door, the young girl before him seemed to be on her middle teens. She was wearing heavy makeup and handed him a brown bag as she came in smiling.

"Takashi sent me." She snapped.

"Good. Irasshaimase." Sakura grinned taking the bag.

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chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6 | chapter 8 |