L'Arc en Ciel fan-fiction .::Fleabag::.

Episode 7
Return Home

"Tet-chan! Tet-chan! This is terrible!!!" A cute, girlie Hyde screamed on top of his lungs.
"What's the matter, Doiha-chan?" A hunky, tall Tetsu walked inside the bathroom and held a shaking Hyde in his arms.
"You did it! I'm pregnant! What am I gonna do now?!"
"Uh... You are pregnant?" Tetsu asked smiling.
"Yes! I am!" Hyde answered sobbing and showed him the positive pregnancy test.
"That's good news, Doiha-chan... I'm so happy!"
"But... but... the band..."
"Don't worry... You'll go back to wearing gowns and nobody will know... you are so skinny..."
"But... but... you should marry me..."
"Ne... We'll discuss that later..."

Hyde woke up gasping.
"Shit! What kind of a dream was that?!" Hyde exclaimed, waking Tetsu up.
"Huh? What's the matter?"
"Pervert!"
"Huh? What did I do now?!"
"You got me pregnant!"
"Huh? Yeah, right... Don't eat so much at dinner time..." Tetsu said and turned to go back to sleep.
"At least marry me, bastard!"
"Oh, shut up already!" Tetsu began to chuckle, and later broke into a wholehearted laughter.
Hyde stared at him for a couple seconds and then began to laugh with him.
"Ne... I might forgive you if you spoil me while I'm pregnant... hehehe..."
"I always spoil you, Doiha-chan..."
"Yeah... such a good husband you would make..." Hyde smiled and wrapped his arms around Tetsu, kissing the top of his head.
"Tomorrow we have practice, ne? Our vacation is over..."
"Un. Now go to sleep... or the baby will get nervous..." Tetsu joked and they both laughed loudly.

The next day, back in Tokyo...

"Yo, dudes... uh... gay-dudes..." Ken greeted in his usual funny-but-blunt way.
"Cut it out!" Hyde protested.
"Ne... Such a nervy okama..." Ken shook his head.
"Hey, Tet-chan, Haido-kun! How was your vacation?" Yuki asked smiling.
"Don't ask..." Hyde replied.
"Pretty good. Haido and I went skiing... well, Haido more often than me... and we also went shopping... uh... well, I did it more than Haido... and we had plenty of chocolate." Tetsu answered smiling broadly.
"Ah! Sounds like paradise!" Yuki smiled back.
"Yeah... Wait... Tet-chan never mentioned sex... that's why Haido is in such a bad mood!" Ken laughed heartily while pointing at Hyde.
"Shut up, moron! We had plenty of sex too!" Hyde yelled, and suddenly realized of his words. "Kuso! You always make me say stuff like that!" He cringed.
"Yeah. Hohoho! Plenty of sex!" Ken laughed.
"OK. Enough of that! Ken-chan, Doiha-chan!" Tetsu protested.
"What else did you do, Tet-chan? And try to ignore those two jerks..." Yuki insisted.
"Oh... lots of things... and yeah, good idea. I even found a new friend..." Tetsu said smiling sadly.
Hyde gulped.
"New friend? And this okama didn't get jealous?" Ken asked jokingly and shook Hyde mildly by the shoulders.
"Stop it! Don't shake me like I'm a toy!" Hyde protested.
"Well... he did... and he took him away from me..." Tetsu said. "I picked up a cute little dog that was lost..."
Everyone was suddenly silent. They all knew how Tetsu loved dogs.
"I told you I'm sorry, Tet-chan..." Hyde whispered.
"... and Haido got so jealous he managed to find him owners right away... so I couldn't keep him long... It broke my heart, but I guess it made him glad."
"Haido, you stink." Ken and Yuki said looking at him fiercely.
"Uh... The dog belonged to a little girl..." Hyde said in a small voice.
Tetsu sighed loudly.
"Ne... Tet-chan! Don't cry! Don't cry, Tet-chan!" Hyde screamed and hugged Tetsu tightly. "I'll get you another dog! I'll get you two dogs! Or Three!! Just please, don't cry!"
"Uh... He is not crying, Haido..." Ken observed staring at Tetsu's puzzled face.
"However, Haido is..." Yuki said staring at Hyde's teary face.
Tetsu hugged Hyde tightly.
"I know he did the right thing. I'm not mad at him." Tetsu said calmly. "Plus, he learnt a good lesson."
"What lesson?" Ken asked. "Something like 'Do never piss your leader by taking away his doggy'?"
"No. Actually, he learnt that sometimes when you act by impulse you can hurt others very deeply... and sometimes when you hurt others, you hurt yourself too."
"Uh... I did learn that?" Hyde said startled.
"Ah... hopefully." Tetsu said.
"Oh... Oh, OK. I thought I had learnt something different."
"What was that?" Yuki asked.
"I thought I had learnt that in the first place, Tet-chan loves dogs really big time. In the second place, dogs have a twisted way of absorbing human powers and force you to love them. In the third place, Tetsu wants a child. In the fourth place..."
"Tetsu wants a child?!!" Ken exclaimed.
"Yeah. We are looking for a baby..." Hyde joked tucking his tongue out at him and rubbing his abdomen.
"Ne... You try quite often, right?" Ken winked and asked.
"Every day..." Hyde answered tucking his tongue out again and grinning sheepishly.
"Haido, please, stop it!" Tetsu screamed blushing.
"Un. So, in the fourth place, I'm not that sure about not being able to get pregnant. In the fifth place..."
"Wah!! Hahahahaha!!" Yuki laughed loudly. "I have just pictured Haido being pregnant!"
Ken, Yuki and Tetsu began laughing loudly while Hyde threw various objects at them and insulted them.
"Enough, clowns! In the fifth place, I've learnt that stepping on skis is dangerous. In the sixth place, and maybe most important, I've learnt that it would make things easier if I stopped to think about other's feelings before acting... cuz maybe I can't go back after I've done something..."
"Good." Tetsu nodded pleased.
"Uh... just one question..." Ken said. "You stepped on your skis?"
"Uh... shut up." Hyde answered annoyed and turned his back at him.
"I see. He did." Ken shrugged and winked at Tetsu and Yuki, who in turn winked back.

A few weeks later, Hyde entered Tetsu's apartment humming. He crouched to take off his shoes and suddenly got bumped into and barked at fiercely.
"Wha...? Tet-chaaaaannn!!!" Hyde screamed on top of his lungs as soon as he saw the nervous Pomeranian dog, which didn't stop barking and running around, jumped on him and began biting and tugging from his jeans.
"Huh?" Tetsu said picking up the dog.
"Waaaaahhhhhh!!!! What is this beast doing here?" Hyde said getting up from the floor.
"It's my dog." Tetsu replied smiling.
"Huh?"
"Haido... Puchi." Tetsu introduced them.
"OK. Very funny. I just can't believe this..." Hyde said sternly.
"Don't be such a baby, Haido. It's just a cute doggy."
"Cute doggy, he says... it's a beast and it tried to bite me!"
"HE didn't."
"IT did!"
"Don't annoy him and he won't bite you... er... well, of course, not annoying someone is kinda tough for you..."
"Ne... Why are you picking on me like that?!" Hyde protested.
"Cuz you insulted my dog!"
"Well, sorry. Now return it, please!"
"I won't! This is my house and this is my dog!"
"And this..." Hyde said pointing at himself "...is your koibito!!"
"Yeah... my wagamama no koibito."
"Ne... You prefer that bag of fleas?!"
"Haido... Don't start this again, and stop insulting the dog, or I'll bite you myself!!"
"Why couldn't you get a nice, quiet dog like Satan?! Satan was a sweet dog compared to this monster!!"
"Ne... Haido, you got rid of Cutie-chan... not me. And try to make friends with the dog..."
"Are you stupid, Tet-chan? What am I supposed to do? Invite him over for drinks??"
"Uh... try to play with him..." Tetsu shrugged.
"OK." Hyde nodded angrily. "Say, mutt, you wanna play poker?" Hyde stared at the dog. "It doesn't." He stared back at Tetsu.
"OK... we'll do this my way..." Tetsu sighed and picked up the door putting it close to Hyde's face. Hyde immediately backed several steps.
"Ohh! Don't fucking do that, man! It will bite me! It's too nervy!"
"He won't!! He's a nice dog!"
"It... it... Why couldn't you pick a cat?"
"Cuz I like dogs, and cuz you are allergic to cats."
"Ne... I'm allergic to dogs too."
"Oh, since when?"
"Since now."
"You are only scared. Don't be childish."
"I'm not scared!! Wanna see?" Hyde extended his hand trembling, to touch the dog.
"Wah!" Tetsu screamed suddenly.
"Waaaaaahhhh!!!!" Hyde jumped back.
"Hahahaha!!! You got scared!"
"Jerk!! Jerk!! Jerk!!" Hyde protested yelling.
"Ne... Touch him, he won't bite you, Haido."
"I hate you, Tet-chan!! And the flea-bag too!"
"Hahahaa!! Some wimp you are!"
"I'm not a wimp!"
Tetsu grabbed Hyde's hand and placed it on the dog's head.
"See? He didn't bite you!"
"Uh... uh... cuz you are present! You don't dare leaving it alone with me!! It will try to eat me!!"
"Uh... rather... I wouldn't leave him alone with you cuz YOU would try to eat him." Tetsu laughed. "Now, Pu-chan, go play with Doiha-chan..." Tetsu said kissing the pup's head and putting it on the floor.
"No, no, no!!" Hyde walked backwards and the small, nervous dog jumped towards him barking.
"Kyaaahhh!!! Take it away!! Right this minute!!! This one is not like Satan! Satan was sweeter!" Hyde screamed and jumped on the couch. The dog tried to jump on it too.
"Ne... This is so funny... I'm gonna tape this..." Tetsu nodded and went for his video camera.
"Tet-chan!!" Hyde screamed insanely watching the dog. Tetsu came back and started shooting the scene.
"Oh, please! Please! Take it away!" Hyde pleaded kicking a cushion to the dog.
"Attack, Puchi!" Tetsu screamed amused, and the dog, enticed by Tetsu's voice began to bark.
"Wahhh!! Tet-chan!! Dame!! Dame yo!!" Hyde yelled on top of his lungs.
"I'll send this tape to your parents... hehehe... I'll attach a note saying: This is just how brave your son is."
"Don't fucking do that!! My parents will be ashamed of me!!"
"Ne... You are such a momma's boy..."
"Tet-chan... Take the mutt away and I'll do anything you want! Please!"
"Nah... this is funnier..." Tetsu kept filming.
The dog finally managed to jump on the couch and Hyde jumped away from it stumbling and falling on the ground. The small dog jumped on his stomach.
"I... I see dots... I think I'm gonna pass out..." Hyde mumbled in terror.
Tetsu couldn't film any more because he was parting in two with laughter.
"This thing is gonna hurt me!! Help!! Tasukete!! Tasukete!!"
The dog began to lick Hyde's neck.
"Kyahhhhhh It's tasting me already!!!"
"Haido, stupid jerk! He's showing his appreciation to you! He just wants to play!"
"Uh...? Uh...?" Hyde tried to touch the dog with the tip of his finger, and the puppy playfully bit it softly.
"Kyaaaaa!!! It bit me!! It bit me!! I'll catch rabies!! Oh! My God! I'm gonna die! At such a young age!"
"Haido... he bit you playfully. You are not hurt!"
"Ah... OK... OK... I'm not hurt... by a close shave! Tet-chan, you must be going insane..."
"I just can't believe this..." Tetsu shook his head holding the small puppy under his right arm.
"You are afraid of this dog?!" Tetsu said putting Hyde's face close to it. Hyde swallowed.
"It bit me!"
The dog playfully tried to bite Hyde's nose.
"Kyaaahhh!!!"
"It's a little dog that only wants to play with you!"
"Yeah, yeah, right! You keep saying that, but the bare truth is that beast bit me!! This one is not like Satan!"
"That's how dogs play!" Tetsu answered in a matter of fact way.
"Ne, Tet-chan, I'll bite you and let's see what you think about it!! I'll say I was only playing when the doctors are sewing you!!" Hyde yelled and locked himself outside at the balcony. He lit a cigarette and stared behind the glass.
"Oh, my..." Tetsu sighed. "This whole thing looks like déjà vu to me..."
The nervous little dog barked and ran around Tetsu trying to catch its own tail.
"Here we go again... Oh... Kuso!!" Hyde cringed looking at the scene from afar. "I wish I had never found Satan's owners..."

The end.