L'Arc en Ciel fanfiction .::. Offer and Demand

A story set in our very modern society
(Hyde-POV)
~Episode 1~

You know? Sometimes, when I look at myself in the mirror, I can hardly recognize the man reflected in it.
I think I’ve seen my face on TV a lot more often than I’ve seen it smiling from the lavishly illuminated bathroom looking glass... I’ve seen it a lot in magazines and newspapers... but deep inside, I feel, somehow, my face is not really mine... Like I’m not actually me.
On those occasions I wonder at which point my life took an unexpected turn.
It happened to me for the first time years ago... when I was still young and naive... and I saw my picture for the first time in a magazine.
That day, I looked at the man in the mirror happily. “You rule!” I told him, and he returned the compliment.
Then... after some time I got used to it. And we just nodded at each other knowingly while I was trying to focus my eyes to get a fairly neat shave.
Years later, I found myself crying in front of him once... when a dear friend was brutally mangled away from me by the very people who had previously hailed us.
I cried... and the man in the mirror cried in turn too.
We held long talks in a foreign land, hidden from all prying eyes.
But then... I got used to that too. And we just sighed at each other during every morning routine.
Then, later, one day, I found myself smiling proud at the man in the mirror. I had pinned a cute model to be my wife. My parents were proud of me... not that they hadn’t been before. I think they were proud to see me assume my manhood and settle down.
I smiled proud at the man in the mirror... and he smiled back... dubiously.
But I ignored him.
He was probably jealous.
After all, ‘she’, unlike our face, was something we weren’t going to share.
I smiled mischievous and proud in front of him every morning. And I noticed his reluctance to return my proud smile every time.
I pitied him.
She was perfect.
Pretty, stupid, popular... and all she wanted was to become a ‘perfect housewife’. What else could I ask for? I don’t need a smart woman near me... one that doesn’t worship me as if I was the most talented and smartest man in the world.
I leave that for poor, regular men. I needed a moron. Someone too smart might have realized I’m just a regular man with a gift... but regular man nonetheless.
I don’t want to be a regular man.
I want to be a god.

Even a regular woman wouldn’t have done.
She would have quickly realized of how normal I am.
She would have quickly noticed that everyone has something special, although some aren’t as lucky as I am to be able to make a living out of it.
She would have considered me just... a man. Not a god. And I couldn’t allow that.
The man in the mirror probably didn’t approve of my thoughts... but then again, he was just a reflection. He wasn’t important.

Then one day, I faced him again with a worried face. And I noticed his expression to be somewhat dim, and somewhat humiliating.
“How did I find myself in this situation?” I asked him. And he repeated my question with emphasis.
I knew then, that the man in the mirror wouldn’t give me any answers.
And surprisingly, for the first time in years I felt fear.
I knew I was alone.
Stranded, and alone.

Without the support of the only pal that had been with me throughout my entire life, I decided to unravel the mystery of “How come my life is so fucked-up”.
I put on my reading glasses (the ones I would kill anyone who dares take a picture of me wearing) and I started reading the lengthy digits in the bank account summary I had been sent.
The pity of it all was the color of those numbers.
Even a color-challenged person like me could clearly tell they were red, and I was in trouble.
I owe... this much?
There must be a mistake... Yesterday I was rich... and all I did today was order pizza...

I went through the numbers again, and I jotted down a few notes in my name-brand company notebook.
I made a few calls.
I had a fit.
And finally I came to the conclusion that I had been poor for longer than I had thought. I’ve been dancing on the Titanic for quite some time... and now the boat was about to sink.

I honestly can’t tell what happened. I don’t even know when it all started... I’ve tried to figure that out many times... and many times over, but I suppose it’s not up to me to elucidate it... I can clearly tell you when it all got out of hands, but I suppose it started way back... while I wasn’t aware of it.
I think, yes, if I had been aware of it, I could have possibly been able to stop it. But right now it is pointless to think of would-have-beens...

That day, when I returned home at noon, I went to talk to the man in the mirror, to inform him that I wasn’t the obscenely rich-pig I used to be anymore... As a side effect, I was also in outstanding debt, and I knew it wouldn’t be long until our faces (his and mine) would show up in the newspapers again... only for reasons different than usual.
I had a large debt, my head had a price, my wife was nagging for money, my parents were yelling at me, my colleagues were ignoring my situation, and my employees were giving me the suspicious eye supposing I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay their salaries.
One day... my whole life changed.

One day... I returned home in despair and every little piece of furniture had a price tag visible only to my eyes... a price tag that, even summing it all up, wasn’t able to make up for the obscene size of the debt I had.
And then... the culprit of my immense debt walked right before my eyes, smiling like an idiot and parading her new mink coat.
Luxurious...
Something I could afford easily some couple years ago was an excessive extravagance right now. And I hated her for it.
My wife doesn’t seem to realize that we are in debt. That we have money problems. That I’m not supposed to go to church begging for charities, in the first place because I’m famous; and in the second place, because I’m an atheist.
I approached her calmly, asked her to sit down on the couch, by my side, and I tried to choose the words wisely to break the news to her.

Well... I ended up crying on her lap.

I felt her tiny, silky hand on my head, and I thought I was a lucky man... she was loving and supportive.
It’s such a shame I couldn’t indulge in that thought for long, because she pulled from my hair and yanked my head up violently.
“What?! You gotta be kidding me!” She shrieked.
“We are... officially... poor.” I repeated sobbing. Partially because of my agitated state of mind, and partially because I hate it so much when someone pulls from my hair.
“How could you...?! You moron!!” She yelled angrily. Amazing how her expression can change so suddenly from mad, to desperate, to mad again, to superior... And she called me a moron...
And there went my hopes for deification.
“Apparently, we have spent a lot more than we had, and now we owe money to the bank...” I started.
“I can’t believe it! How can you be so stupid, Hideto!? This is all because you are lazy and irresponsible! You haven’t worked in the last few months! You have done nothing!!” She protested bitterly.
“Hey! I have worked!” I objected. Gee... I starred in a movie, I got a full solo album released the previous year, and I... I... did off-kai meetings and chats with fans... Isn’t that work?
“What do you mean you worked?! Off-kai meetings and chats don’t pay!”
“But people sign up to my site and pay to be able to meet me!” I complained like a child.
“Well, they don’t pay enough!”
“Uh... well, I can’t make it more expensive...”
“Oh! So that bunch of drooling, mindless idiots is more important than me?! I mean... you and me! Huh?! I should have listened to my friends when they said I shouldn’t marry you...”
“Hey! Who said you shouldn’t marry me?” I did my best to look fierce.
“Everyone! Half of them told me you are gay, and the other half told me you are insane. I should have listened!” She got up from the couch and walked into the bedroom angrily. She slammed the door behind her and left me alone to ponder about my wrong doings.
But...
You know...?
I did work...

Next day at the office wasn’t particularly easy.
I called everyone that could be called in search of a solution.
By the way, my lawyers are demanding for proof that I can pay for their services from now on. Such leeches.
Apparently, the news had leaked, and I know it’s but a few hours until it hits any kind of publication.
I gotta think of something fast.
For example... Could I distract them if I change the layout of my site?
I called the designing team, but they didn’t seem too eager to talk to me. I made a few sketches while I talked to them... I confess I had Harry Potter in mind when I did those... since, after all, I think only magic can save me right now.
I finally hung up nervously and my eager fingers taunted shakily for a cigarette.
I poured the last glassful of wine with shaky hands, and pushed the empty bottle of bourbon against the hard wooden desk that was a complete mess.
My office was a mess...
I was a mess.

I called my secretary and asked her not to pass any call to me... I instructed her to say I was in an important meeting. Never mind who it was... not even my wife.

Ah... I sipped my wine in a state of agitated calm... the sparkly light of the afternoon sun deflected by the office blinds into a myriad of sparkles against the white walls...
How much would I get for that painting? I wondered in silence while tasting the last sip of bourbon. It was probably the last time I would drink import wine in a long time. And we all know how wine, at incorrect lighting, moisture and temperature conditions, can get bitter.... almost like marriage.
Quite like it.

I smoked and drank. Every time tobacco rendered my mouth dry I sipped from the full-bodied liquid.
I had taken a very important decision... I would get myself out of debt no matter how... no matter what it took.
Yes, you got it right.
“I don’t give a shit.” I thought. “Just as long as this doesn’t get too public.”
I rested my cup of wine on the desk and I leaned backwards, trying to take in the room with my eyes.
For a musician, working in an office is almost as hard as it is for a bird to live inside a cage.
I didn’t belong into this kind of life... I should have known it.

And my eyes stopped at her picture... dutifully resting on a corner of my desk, almost hidden by a pile of binders and notebooks... She was smiling at me... so innocently.
That bitch!
She and Tetsu are the culprits of my disgrace... Tetsu for inducing me to marry her... And her, for getting along with it.
When I thought she was dumb enough to be the right person for the position, I never thought I was even dumber enough to get hooked into this kind of situation with her.
Shit...
And he said marrying her would cast away all suspicions of homosexuality in me...
And I obeyed... I’m such an obeying doggie... I should be named Fido instead of Haido.
And after these years I’m just starting to wonder why on earth I would want to do away with homosexuality suspicions... Should I have been smarter, I would have thought about that earlier. Before I got legally hooked to a bottomless pit of expense who doesn’t care how much effort I put into earning my well-deserved revenue... who just spends carelessly every cent I have, and every cent I don’t have.
And now... now... I see myself in quite a predicament.
Confronting her was useless.
She always has the last word.
Not like I’m used to having it.
I never had it in the past... to be honest, I’m quite of a wimp who only tries to look bossy.
I could never stand up to any lover, or parents, or boss, or customer... or... Tetsu. Everyone... just fucking everyone walked on my back as if I were their big floor mat. Hmm... OK, not that big.
Yes, confronting her was useless.
She just threw a tantrum, accused me of being an idiot and ruining her life, and she even said I was performing psychological abuse on her.
Because she can’t be without her little luxuries...
Because she just can’t drink bottled water that isn’t French.
Because she just can’t wear the same fur coat twice.
Because I’m a total jerk... who looks down and shuts up... who hates confrontation... who cackles like a chicken whenever faced with someone with a sharper tongue.
Fuck it.

I simply walked out of that house before I’d make it even worse by breaking into tears myself.

Why am I in this financial situation?
Why me?
I’ve always worked my ass off. I’ve used my talents, striven to get better, to have a fruitful career, to earn my money...
I studied, I worked, I did everything as it was supposed to be done in order to be successful... so... why me?
I’m a nice person... ain’t I?

So... in order to sort this out, in the first place... like a scared child, I called my parents.
And like a naughty child, I got yelled at for being such a stupid man, who, on top of it all, only seems to call his parents when he is in trouble.
I couldn’t reply to that for two reasons.
For one, I rarely call. And in the second place... they scare me... I don’t have the balls to face them.
I never even had the balls to tell them, years ago, that I was dating a man... I wonder about their reaction.
Maybe my mom wouldn’t have been too annoyed, past the first crying fits. After all, she always wanted a daughter.
But that is irrelevant.

Then... I called Tetsu.
He was busy.
He put me on hold about a gazillion times, and then when he finally answered, he rattled on about all the evil things I had supposedly done to him.
Great... just fucking great. If I had wanted the news I would have bought the newspaper.
It seems it’s not just monetary debts what I have.

I finally gave up trying to get Tet-chan to help me. He said he’d see what he could do.

So... I tried to contact Yuki.
He thought I was joking, he got mad at me for being such a sucker and making stupid prank calls when he was working and busy. And he said if I wanted to be a comedian I needed acting lessons.

I was puzzled... but I decided it was probably not a good idea to keep insisting.
I’ll probably sign up for cheap acting lessons.

Then I called Ken-chan.
He was drunk.

I called again... and again... and again... he was always drunk.
I think during one of the calls he even put his cat through.
All I could get from him was a promise to perform together during his upcoming festival... great... I simply don’t have enough songs, and the songs I have don’t really match the audience that’s going to attend that festival... But well... I must admit he tried.
More sweat... and I don’t even know if it’ll work... and it’ll take time... but at least, it’s something.

Then, surprisingly, Sakura called.
Either my secretary forgot I told her not to pass me any calls, or Sakura cooed her into it. He’s the type to do that.
And well... Sakura can read me like an open book. He’s my best friend after all. He went straight to the point and offered me money...
I refused. I still have dignity.
He said it’d be a loan... but I can’t accept a loan from a friend.
Besides, I know what he’s like... he’s just trying to help me even if he doesn’t have such an immense sum of money.
As usual, he’s a moron. A sweet moron...

Then, I called tax office and they said my tax can’t be reduced.
Then I called my in-laws and they refused to talk to me on the grounds that I was hurting their baby. Her older brother even menaced me.

Then Tet-chan called again, (and by now I was certain my secretary hated me) with the stupid idea of a ‘best-of’ album... as if he didn’t know the company will keep most of the benefit for it... I’ll only get a small sum for that... but well, something is something and I thanked him.
He’s going to produce new bands...
He’s going to invest money in new talents... such a drag I’m an old talent... who would want to invest in me?

Then, I called Gackt...
You know. He’s a sweetheart.
He’s such a nice guy. So open and liberal.
I talked to him for a long while. I needed a release.
At least, he wasn’t drunk, he wasn’t yelling at me, and he has known me for such a short time it is practically impossible for me to have any sorts of “debt” with him.
In the end, I hinted about my money situation... But the conversation had, by then, drifted into a totally freakish direction... and he kept inviting me to suspicious places.

Then after hanging up, I made a resolution.
I would make one last call for that day... One last call that was of course, something I had briefly considered earlier but hadn’t wanted to resort to.
It was my “B” plan.
In case everything else failed... and everything else had indeed failed.
So... the last place I called... it took me a long time to make the decision... and every finger ached when I pressed the buttons to dial the forbidden number.
For solution it sucked, but it would, at least, remove the rope from my neck when it came to affording company salaries and stuff.
A dating agency...
I wasn’t gonna get me an expensive escort... no...
This time... I called to offer my services.

And that is how I became a hooker.

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