L'Arc en Ciel fanfiction .::. Offer and Demand

Episode 12

“Uh… sir… I…” The big guy at the door stammers. I’m sure he’s quite surprised to see me here.
“Let me in.” I chuckle bitterly. “Let me in!!” I hear myself screaming on top of my lungs.
“Sir… I…” The man hesitates and then he turns around and calls. I would punch him if I weren’t so sure he could wipe the floor with me. “Gackt-san… I think we have a situation here.”
I push him aside (not without effort) and I storm into Gackt’s apartment fuming. “Where is he?!”
“Er… Gackt-san…” The man calls out shyly.
“Man, I’m busy, what’s the matter now---?” Gackt comes out of a room protesting and lacing up his attire. He looks up and he stops perplexed upon seeing me. He’s wearing the dark cloak I can clearly recognize, and I notice his hands start to shake.
“Oh, shit, man… I knew this would happen…” He mutters and brings a hand to his forehead, in his usual, over-dramatic act.
“Really? I find that hard to believe!” I hear myself yelling out. “You! Psychic wannabe!”
“I can explain, Haidee…” He tries to coax me by adopting a lustful tone of voice and a pout.
“Don’t trouble yourself! Everything’s already pretty clear! You have been fucking me behind my back!”
“Well… er…” He stops and considers with an air of dignity that certainly doesn’t match this awkward situation. “Well, literally, yeah… but it’s not what you think.”
“Shut up! You call yourself my friend?!”
“Etoo… well, you see… as I said, I can explain this whole ordeal.”
“Don’t bother to! I don’t have the time to listen to one of your cheesy stories! I have to be at the Hyatt in 2 hours so that you can pay to fuck me!” I scream at him and I leave fuming. I’m irate. I want to kill him. Er… Should I go to the Hyatt?
“Haido! Wait up!” I hear him running behind me.
“No! Leave me alone! You, bastard!”
“Haido, please, listen to me!” He grabs my arm and yanks from it. He manages to turn me around and even dodge a punch. I wish Megumi were here so that she could scratch him… Uh… wait… Megumi here would be a bad idea.

Finally I’m sitting there at his lounge. He called the agency and cancelled the request. I’m shaking like a leaf and I’m trying not to do something completely out of character… like choking him to death, for example.
I felt like doing so when five minutes after his call, the agency called me.
“Well, well, well…” He starts. “You see, my dearest Haidee… I wanted to help you… I learnt about your debt and I wanted to help you. So sue me for worrying about my friends’ well-being.”
I snort and light a cigarette nervously. I wonder whether it’d be considered bad manners if I hurl the ashtray at him.
“I didn’t want to call you about it, so I waited until you called. I didn’t want to sound blunt.”
“Oh… fucking me without me knowing it’s you, is certainly polite.” I rummage. He smirks sighing and lowering his head and then keeps his over-dignified speech trying to convince me of how he’s such a good friend.
“When you called, I asked you to meet me. But you never wanted to.”
“Your meeting places were highly suspicious.”
“I decided to check on you, because I did want to help. And just when I thought I had lost track… this escort company I’m a VIP client for calls me giving me their newest catalogue… the catalogue featured you.”
“Damn…”
“I didn’t want to offend you or humiliate you… but I did want to lay you. Man… I’ve wanted to lay you for quite a while, and you never accepted. You never gave me a chance. You kept acting all poised and straight saying you wouldn’t fuck a guy, and then, the next thing I know you offer yourself for prostitution… Now that was low. You said no to me but you were willing to say yes to people you didn’t know? How rotten is that?”
“Are you insane?! How are you trying to turn this situation so that I am to blame?!”
“So…” He interrupts without answering me. “…since I am a good friend, and I didn’t want to humiliate you, I devised a plan… all within a few hours. Ain’t I smart?”
“No!”
“I would give us both what we wanted. You wanted money, you’d get it. I wanted your ass, I’d get it. It was pretty simple. The only trick was that you didn’t have to find out who I was. Who your mystery lover was. That was kinky, I admit, and it spiced up the situation even more.”
“Well, you did pretty well, you moron!”
“No… actually… I didn’t. I thought I’d be contented with a couple fucks, and you’d get some money, which would help you a little. I thought nothing would happen, you’d never find out and we’d both be happy.”
“And I had to turn up at your door. Oh… What a party pooper I am!” I say, and I think I’m such a genius at pulling sarcasm.
“Uh… yeah, that was unexpected, but anyway… Something started to go bad before that.”
“What? You ran out of money too?”
“No. No, my dearest Haidee… I didn’t. I’m far from that.”
“Then what? And stop calling me Haidee!”
“It’s love nickname. You see… I can’t get you out of my head, Haidee. I became addicted to you. I want you in bed with me every night… every fucking night and I can’t help it. Nobody is as good as you are. You are so clueless, so shy, so innocent, so scared… Haidee… I became obsessed with you.”
“Bullshit…”
“It’s true. It’s true, my dear. See what you’ve turned me into? Me! the super-cool, sexy and desirable Gackt losing his mind and reason because I can’t help but wanting your tiny ass so badly! This is unprecedented!”
I am at a loss of words. I stare at him gaping. I certainly cannot believe he’s such a retard and he thinks so highly of himself! Conversely, I wish I had his abilities to talk guilt out of me. It’d be so convenient with my wife. So… I lower my head not knowing what to reply. We both remain silent for a while, staring at the floor. Images of the nights I shared with him without knowing it pervade my senses and my mind… parading in front of me like a cheap movie in a love motel.
It wasn’t half bad.
It definitely wasn’t.
I am mad, I remind myself. But… it wasn’t half bad.
Shit! I wish I wasn’t such a wishy-washy guy.
“Would you be my lover, Haidee dearest?”
“For free?”
“Well… yes. I don’t want to humiliate you now that you’ve found out.”
“I gotta think about it. I’m still in trouble.” I dismiss it without meeting his contact-colored eyes.
“I’ll help you. I mean… not as a retribution for sex. I’ll put you in touch with some of my contacts. The movie will premiere soon, and that’ll be a boost for your career. I’ll give you some hints, I’ll help you… Will you be my lover, please?”
“Gakuto… I think I’ll never understand you. Why couldn’t you help me before? If you wanted to help me, why did you have to do this?”
“Well, as I said, I wanted to fuck you. So… Please, say yes?”
“I’m married.”
“I know.”
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“Uhmm… No. Not at all.”
“My wife is whiney and she needs me around.”
“I’m not asking you to divorce.”
“Pity…”
“It’s not like you could marry me instead.”
“Would you marry a guy?”
“Yes, if it’s you.”
“I see. I get this kind of shit a lot, you know? I’m really tired of it. I’m really tired of having people obsess with me because they think I look like a girl. It’s really annoying and I’ve had to put up with it since I was a child…”
“Yes, you told me about it.”
“Did you mention any of this to Yacchan?”
“No. Of course I didn’t tell Sakura about it.”
“Is he really your friend?”
“Yah, we’re cool.”
“I slept with him long ago.” I say defiantly.
“I know.”
“What?! Did he tell you that?!”
“Everyone knows that.”
“Shut up! It was a secret! It was even hard for us to tell Tet-chan when it happened!”
“You also slept with Tet-chan, Kiyoharu, Ken-chan…”
“Shut up! Why do you know so much?!”
“I just know…”
“I’m not a whore!”
“Well… I beg to differ…” He says chuckling.
“Shut up! You probably think I’d sleep with anyone!”
“Well! You signed up for the escort service!”
“Stop being right!”
“OK, Haido… OK. Just… consider it, will you? I will help you anyway, I don’t want you to think I’m only going to help you in exchange for sex… Although it’s a good idea. However, please, consider it. I’m going to be a gentle lover. I won’t hurt you… again.”
“Just… Goodbye, Gackt. Let me carry my pathetic self out of here.” I hear myself saying as I prop myself up. I feel dizzy… I feel as if I had been drinking heavily, although I haven’t. I don’t know if this is the after-effect of being so mad and ashamed at the same time. Once I read adrenaline is a powerful drug. I don’t know… and suddenly I remember the man in the mirror. I bet he doesn’t want to look at me now… I bet… I bet he knew it all the time… and I hate him and myself for it.
Because I think he knows a lot more things than I’m willing to admit right now.

“Haido…?” Gackt calls from behind me.
“Un?”
“Nobody will know.”
“I hope so. I’ll be listening to your radio show and at the slightest mention of this… you are dead meat. I’m gonna send my minions of evil to slaughter you.”
“Your minions of evil?”
“Yeah… my wife and my dog.” I spit those words and walk out of his apartment stomping heavily. I’m sure he’s scared now. (I’d be.)

I think I’ve done something bad. I mean, aside from prostituting myself, which is only half-bad because I did it out of need.
I’ve smashed several mirrors in my studio and now the cleaning crew is mad at me.
I’m sitting here in silence, crouching in my comfy seat, watching them clean and curse while I randomly play with my cell phone.
I’m sure my secretary told my wife about this… women… such gossips they are.
I light a cigarette and I keep playing with my phone. It’s tiny and pretty and shiny… and I can’t pay for the bills so I can only send text messages and receive calls.
I decide to send Yacchan a text message. Something cryptic…
“Gonna rip your balls off. Call me.”
Yacchan is addicted to his keitai. I’m sure he’ll call me right away.
The cleaning and maintenance personnel leave my office without even greeting me. I wonder if they are somewhat mad because I’m late with my share of personnel salaries…
Well, I don’t care if they dislike me because that wouldn’t be too new a thing right now.
I curl up against the chair’s arm and I try to rest my mind. Images of Gackt and me in the hotel room assault me. Sensory images… I am not mad at the sex… just mad that he didn’t tell me it was him. But… conversely, I think… maybe it would have been tough for him to confront me with the truth. Maybe it’s a little bit my fault too… My choice was a too radical one. What if someone else had found out?
What if someone like… the Prime Minister saw the catalogue and wanted to fuck me? Now… that’d have been awkward. And then, even if I wanted to show off and tell others “I fucked the Prime Minister” nobody would have believed me. Uh… not that I’d want to tell anyone…
And I keep thinking of Gackt… What expertise he’s got! What a good lover he is! I envy him! I hadn’t had such a good fuck in a long time. A long, long, long time. I missed that kind of sex… taking me over completely. I wish he’d tell me the secret to such lovemaking… although I suspect I know what the secret is: desire. I haven’t desired in a long while. All I’ve done lately is “my duty”… and well, sometimes not even that.

Suddenly the telephone rings and startles me. I’m sure Yacchan got my message.
“You got the message?!” I yell at the phone.
“Huh?”
“Er… Who is it?”
“I’m Tetsu. What message did you mean? You messaged me?”
“No… no, no. I’m sorry. I thought it was... my wife.”
“Oh, I see. Haido, we need to talk.”
“What?! Wait! Who have you been talking to! It’s all lies!”
“Wha---? Are you drunk?”
“What do you want to talk about?”
“The company’s got me by the balls. They are releasing three albums with a selection of our songs. Not like we’re having much say in it. After that, they want a tour and a new album.”
“Why?! I’m having a ball with my solo work!” I protest. I have to keep my dignity.
“No, you aren’t…”
“What are you gonna do about it?”
“About you not having fun?”
“No! About the company!”
“Oh… well, we need a meeting. They are planning some big event…”
“I’m really busy with the movie, working on some songs for my second solo album and…”
“Haido…”
“And…”
“Haido…!”
“And I’ll be there at the company tomorrow, K?”
“Good. We’re gonna need songs… I have a few spare ones. And then lyrics and…”
“I know, I know.”
“How are your finances going?”
“Uh… bad. I need to eliminate some stuff that’s ruining me.”
“Like what?”
“Like… my wife.”
“Oh, well… you are an adult. I’m sure you’ll find a solution.”
“Yeah… See you tomorrow.” I dismiss him right away. This is his entire fault. He’s the one that got me into dating her, and then she got all clingy and all wanting to get married, and being the wuss I am I said yeah… it’s all Tetsu’s fault! I was happy being a slut, now I’m just an unhappy whore. There is a difference.
I hang up and I return to my previous position. The spot is still warm. I am supposed to be playing with my guitar or something but I really don’t feel like it. I want to go back to thinking about Gackt and I and sex and…

Fuck dammit. The phone rings again. “Yo.”
“Hey! What’s the matter with you?”
“Ah… Sakurazawa-kun…” I spit bitterly.
“Yup. That’s me. Unless you wanna talk to my brother, but then again, he wouldn’t be “kun” to you.”
“I wanna talk to you!”
“OK. What’s up? Why having this impulse of mutilating me?”
“So… You’ve been talking private things with Gacchan, huh?”
“Er… well… wait… What do you mean?”
“About us!”
“Uh… Oh! That! No, I didn’t. He already knew it.”
“You, bastard! How many people know it?!”
“How would I know?!”
“Cuz you told them!”
“I didn’t tell anyone!”
“I met Gacchan yesterday and he told me he knew about that old affair of us!”
“Oh. He’s psychic.”
“Don’t give me that crap! That’s what he wants everyone to believe! It’s not true!”
“All right.”
“You told him, and now he thinks I’m a slut!”
“Well… I didn’t tell him. And we all know you’re a nice, straight guy who is happily married and…” I hear Sakura suddenly cracking up into roaring laughter.
“What the fuck are you laughing at, you son of a bitch!”
He takes a few seconds before he answers. “Incoming call… Hold on a second.”
I swear at him but I guess he doesn’t catch it. I return to my comfortable position and wait for him to come back online.
When he does, it’s not what I expected.
“I’ve Gackt on the other line. He’s gonna send me a VIP escort service catalogue today. I don’t know why he insists so much.”
I freeze. I freeze so badly I think there are big icicles hanging from my nose right now.
“No…” I mutter.
“Huh?”
“No… don’t… don’t… Don’t!”
“What’s the matter, Haido?”
“Tell him… tell him… Ask him to call me…”
“You want a copy too?”
“Y---yeah… yeah… I want a copy… please tell him right away. Please.” My tone has evidently changed.
“What’s the matter Hai-chan?”
“Please!”
“What is going on?!”
“Please tell him!”
“All right… I’ve told him you want a copy too.”
“Tell him I said ‘OK’.”
“Huh?”
“Tell him that! Tell him ‘Haido says OK.’”
“Can you explain to me what the fuck is going on?”
“Just do that… please…”
“I’ve just done so. Now tell me what’s going on. By the way, Gackt says ‘good boy’.”
“It’s a long story Yacchan… I’ll tell you one day. Right now, I gotta hang up. I’m hungry… yeah, that’s why. I’m hungry.”
“When can I meet you? Can I buy you lunch, or…?”
“Tomorrow… no, wait… I have a meeting tomorrow… Tomorrow night, maybe. I’ll call you… I’ll message you. I gotta go now.”
“O… K…” I hear Sakura relent and sigh. “Bye now.”
“B---bye…”

That was a close call… (No pun intended). Gackt is a lot smarter than I had predicted. Now he’s got me by the short and curlies and I doubt I can escape.
I want to cry, to keep smashing things up, to throttle my secretary… I don’t know… I really don’t know what to do and I’m shivering like I’m naked in the snow.
I stare at the phone, my face paralyzed. I wonder if Gackt has shown the catalogue to anybody else… And I realize my minions of evil didn’t scare him in the slightest.

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