L'Arc en Ciel fanfiction .::. Working the Streets

Episode 17 ~A triangle of four~

"Well, well, well... I’ll give you the scoop on this great position you have been appointed for.” Sakura started proudly and smiled while patting Tetsu’s tiny hand.
“No... I mean, Sakura-san, that’s not...”
“In the first place, you gotta know your way around. People might not trust you right away, but you shouldn’t take it personally. This is just a delivery job, you aren’t going to---...”
“Sakura-san!” Tetsu interrupted raising his voice.
“Don’t interrupt your boss when he’s giving directions.” Sakura scolded him mildly.
“I don’t want the position!” Tetsu yelled. “I already have a job.”
“What?! You are working for the competition?! You creep...”
“Of course not! I’m working at a photography shop.”
“Uh... undercover delivery?”
“Gee...” Tetsu rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“OK. You gotta introduce me to your boss. I can provide them with top quality merchandise at rather good prices, which is...”
“Sakura-san... Do you know there are other business apart from selling drugs?”
“Uh... yes, of course I do. Although most of them don’t pay nearly half as well...”
“So... I suppose this is why Haido likes you.” Tetsu mumbled and looked away towards the window. Lots of people coming to and from Shibuya passed by anonymously. “All you two can think about is money.”
“Money is really convenient.” Sakura said and shrugged while slitting open a tiny envelope of ketchup.
“Don’t you feel bad about your occupation? Doesn’t Haido feel bad about his occupation? Maybe it’s just me being a fool...”
“Well, undoubtedly, you are a fool. You are letting such a good opportunity go. But, in response to your former question... you see... if you ever know of a company which is willing to match my current earnings for doing a job that requires absolutely no special abilities, just let me know. You got my phone number, so call me.” Sakura replied sarcastically and took a bite of his hamburger.
Tetsu snorted and rested his head on his arm while toying with the French fries with his idle hand. “How did you get into this job, Sakura-san?”
“Ah... luck, I guess. I’m a self-made man.” Sakura chuckled and shrugged.
“I mean, seriously... Were you consuming drugs, and you started selling what you didn’t use or what?”
“How silly. Of course not. I suppose that’s the kind of crap yellow press sells to people like you. There is no such thing as “didn’t use”, Tetsu. You use everything you buy. If not now maybe later. Rich tycoons who can afford to have a whole table covered with coke are only seen in movies.” Sakura answered and pulled out a cigarette from his box.
“Oh... So... why do you sell drugs?”
“I know what you mean. Selling is not half as fun as consuming, but you have to remember it sure pays.”
“How did you get into this? I mean... selling drugs is not the most common occupation nowadays...”
“Hoho... you’d be surprised about that.”
“Seriously...”
Sakura sighed and looked slightly above Tetsu’s head, towards a distant and lost point through the window. “I suppose I needed money, and I needed it fast.” Sakura said and shrugged blowing out the smoke of his cigarette. “...and then... I couldn’t find a better job than this.”
“Nobody hired you?”
“Oh... some would have. But this job was better paying.”
“Isn’t it dangerous?”
“Well, it is when you are careless. But then again, everything can pose a huge threat when you are careless.”
“I know... Haido-kun got himself in a big problem too...” Tetsu said lowering his head and biting on a French fry.
“Un.” Sakura nodded. “I’ve heard.”
“Have you ever... used it...?”
“What?”
“Drugs, I mean...”
“Oh, sure I have. I try every sample myself. That’s why I can guarantee a top quality service.”
“Oh...” Tetsu blinked and stared at Sakura. “Isn’t it bad for your health?”
“Well... fast food is also bad for your health, and we are happily indulging in it.” Sakura replied in a superior tone.
“You can’t compare.”
“I can. A bad diet is the main cause of overweight. Overweight is one of the main causes of heart disease, together with smoking and lack of physical activity. Heart disease is the main cause of death in the industrialized world... not drugs...”
“You will find a way to defend your position no matter what, right? Still you won’t convince me.”
“Haido tried the “love pills” once... it was rather funny.” Sakura said and laughed. “He was so small, and he got so hyper. I only let him take half a dose, though... And well... There wasn’t enough water in his refrigerator and he refused to drink tap water so I had to drag him to a combini and force him to drink about 2 liters of mineral water.” Sakura chuckled as he told his story.
“Uh... Water?”
“To prevent dehydration. Ecstasy will make you lose the sensation of thirst.”
“Is that supposed to be funny? He’s a child!” Tetsu protested.
“That’s why I hope he waits a little longer until he becomes a regular. But, on the other hand, he, just like me, can’t afford to lose grasp on reality... I mean, given the nature of his job. So maybe it’d be better if he never becomes a regular...”
“I hope he never does.” Tetsu scolded.
“Yeah... well... maybe a little would help him. He’s not the happiest kid around. He’s so closed to others, so bitter about everything... but I can’t blame him. I would be the same if I were in his place.”
“Yeah...” Tetsu agreed and nodded playing with an over-salted slice of tomato. “Anyway, I don’t think it would help him. But... tell me... who got you into this, Sakura-san?”
“Well... life did.” Sakura answered and shrugged.
“How come?”
“You are very curious.”
“I’ve my reasons.”
“Maybe evaluating the possibility of working for me? Good, good...” Sakura smirked.
“No. Those aren’t my reasons.” Tetsu mumbled and frowned.
“Ah... let’s see... I’m 18 now. I have been in the business for around five years. No... a little more.”
“Huh?! You started really young!”
“Yeah.”
“So... you were a kid... just like us...”
“Everyone has been a kid at some point in their lives, Tetsu.” Sakura replied raising an eyebrow.
“I know that! I mean... you got into this when you were a kid. Were you a street kid too?”
“No. I wasn’t. I had a home, parents, sister and brother.”
“Then why did you...?”
“My dad had a rather good position in a car company. He was very responsible, and people under him respected him and liked him a lot. Even if he was strict, he wasn’t inflexible, so employees really liked him. My mom was a housewife, and she would take care of us all the time... she would take us to school, to the park, to pachinko... everywhere.”
“Well... you had cool parents...”
“Yes. They were cool. Actually... they were too good, and too naive. They firmly believed there was only one way to do things: the right way. And they would teach us so all the time.”
“Gee... I wish I could have your parents...”
Sakura patted Tetsu’s hand and kept telling his story. “One day, my dad lost his job.”
“Eh? Why? You said everyone liked him.”
“Yes... but just as everyone under him liked him, there were also many around him that coveted his position. He got tricked, ambushed, accused of embezzlement of company funds... and got fired. He could never prove his innocence, although he was innocent.”
“Shit...”
“I was around 12 then... when shame fell upon my family for something that we hadn’t done. My sister was about to get married. She was 20...” Sakura said and his sight got lost again beyond the landscape past the window.
“Ah...” Tetsu gaped staring at Sakura. “That’s... so unfortunate...”
“And my family lost most of our money to the trial... in which my dad was found guilty, although there weren’t any consistent proofs. My sister’s wedding was cancelled... her fiancé dropped her because he considered our family name was dirty and he couldn’t be associated with us.”
“What a jerk! But your dad was innocent!”
“Yes. The guy knew that. But since it couldn’t be proved...”
“Man! How unfair!”
“Yes. So... my brother was already married, and he helped with whatever he could. My parents didn’t have a job, and my sister was repudiated... even if I was young, I could understand the situation rather well.”
“What did you do?”
“I got myself a job near Yoyogi park... selling crafts.”
“Did you make them? What a handy-man!”
“No. I just sold them. I became dealer of crafts. I would buy them at Yoyogi park fair and then re-sell them to stores further from the park. I didn’t make quite too much money, but it was enough for food.”
“Gee... Sakura-san... you were such a good son!”
“Thanks. Praise is always welcome. So... selling crafts wasn’t paying debts, wasn’t paying rent, wasn’t paying taxes... just a bowl of noodles for each. My sister got herself a job as a waitress, and with much effort we struggled to keep the household together... the atmosphere at home was so depressing.”
“I can imagine.”
“And so one day, this guy comes, and tells me he’s gonna pay me $100 if I deliver a certain package to a certain person. $100!! Back then it was a fortune to me!”
“It is a fortune!”
“Uh... OK... I forgot who I was talking to, beggar boy. So, on with my story... I delivered the package and earned my $100. The guy was satisfied with me, and he hired me as his assistant.”
“Let me take a wild guess... you were delivering drugs, right?”
“Exactly.” Sakura snapped and took a drink of soda.
“Shit...”
“I started bringing home some real money, and paying debts... but of course, my parents started suspecting... and eventually they were bound to find out.”
“Well... I can see why they suspected. Nobody makes too much money selling crafts.”
“I was 14 when they did find out and something big had happened. They guy I was working for overdosed on his own stuff, and I inherited his business. I knew the way around with it, and I knew about 90% of the clients. He had been a good mentor, so I suppose I was the best suited person to take over... although there were others wanting the position.”
“Oh...” Tetsu stared with big eyes. He was absorbed in the story.
“By then, I was in a gang... it was easy for me to get my pals to set things straight with the other dealers.”
“Kya~!!”
“But... as a result of all the ruckus, my parents found out.”
“What happened then?”
“They gave me an ultimatum. I either quit that job or I quit the household.”
“You... you... you quit the household?”
“Sorta.” Sakura nodded and looked away.
“I still see my sister now and then... I usually write a check for her... at least once a month. My parents don’t know I’m sending that money... I’m not mad at them. They just don’t understand, I can’t blame them for that. They have already gone through too much, maybe it’s better this way.”
“Sakura!”
“I don’t ask my sister any questions. She doesn’t either. She cries sometimes when she sees me... she still calls me ‘little boy’. But it’s OK... I don’t want to embarrass her or my parents. I just do my job, and I just help at whatever I can.”
“But... but... Sakura...!” Tetsu exclaimed frowning sadly, and held Sakura’s hand tightly.
“Dad and mom are good people... they are just too conservative and clueless... you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, you know? They won’t change, and I’m too stubborn to change. Besides... my dad still doesn’t have a job...”
“Will you stop selling drugs when your dad finds a job?”
“No. I don’t think so.” Sakura answered shaking his head lightly and forcing a smile.
“Will your parents accept you back if you get a different job?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. The streets have sheltered me since back then, I don’t think I would get easily used to living with them again. I’m not a kid anymore...”
“Sakura-san... I wish I could help you...”
“So... you can! Be my assistant!” Sakura beamed radiantly.
“Of course not! Dammit!”
“Shit... I’ve done all this long confession and I still get “no” for an answer?” Sakura protested.
“Sakura... Let’s change the subject... kinda... Have you ever fallen in love?”
“Ah... many times.” Sakura replied with less interest than before.
“What would your lover think of your position?”
“Most don’t care.”
“What if someone who loves you does care?”
“You love me?” Sakura asked, eyes bugging.
“No! Jerk!”
“Oh... it’s a pity, though. You are cute.”
“Cut it out!”
“Maybe I know of someone who is in love with you... and this person would be happier if you had a less dangerous job.”
“Oh... Who is it? Tell me.” Sakura grinned narrowing his eyes.
“You aren’t taking this seriously.”
“I couldn’t be.” Sakura answered chuckling.
“OK. Haido told me he has a crush on you. He said he wants to take care of you. He said he loves you. He said he thinks you are cute.”
“Oro~?”
“He did. I was there. And he wasn’t under the influence...”
“Ah...” Sakura was aghast.
“I promised him I’d help, and that’s why I asked for a meeting with you. Not because I wanna become your assistant but because I want to help my one best friend.” Tetsu said nodding and lowered his sight. A hushed inner voice tried to tell him something... but Tetsu chose to shut it up.
“I... well... this is rather unexpected...” Sakura said and coughed uncomfortably.
“So... what are you gonna do?” Tetsu probed him.
“I... I’ll talk to him.” Sakura nodded.
“Uh-huh?”
“I’ll talk to him, yeah...”
“Tonight then?”
“Oh... OK.” Sakura said and swallowed.
“I’ll tell him you’ll go for a visit.” Tetsu replied and got on his feet. There was a knot in his throat that kept him from speaking any further... and he couldn’t quite tell why.

Tetsu walked tiredly the fairly short distance between Shibuya station and Hyde’s apartment.
There was a pain in his chest ever since he had left the fast-food shop in the afternoon, and he tried to convince himself it was because of anxiety.
He finally reached his destination and knocked on the door.
An all too familiar vision greeted him in an all too usual bad mood.
“Tetsu, the beggar boy. I don’t have any spare change, bud.” Hyde said resting his naked self on the frame of the door.
“Pity...” Tetsu said and shrugged. “I’ll go carry messages from a crush to someone else, then.”
“Come on in already, asshole!” Hyde yelled and grabbing Tetsu by an arm he yanked the other boy inside the apartment.
“Ya know, Hai-chan? It’s really hard to tell in which pissy mood and for which uncanny reason you will be every day...”
“Bah.” Hyde shrugged and stuck his tongue out at Tetsu.
“I’ve a message for you.” Tetsu went on.
“OK. Deliver it.” Hyde snapped crossing his arms over his chest and tapping his tiny foot on the floor.
“Tonight. Your crush. Here. To talk about mutual feelings.” Tetsu snapped with an air of superiority.
“Eh?”
“Tonight. Your crush...”
“I heard you! Why tonight?” Hyde interrupted. “Why not now?”
“Cuz I said tonight. Night is more romantic.” Tetsu shrugged.
“Oh, well... you are so twisted. You like to complicate things so much, Tet-chan. It probably turns you on. But it’s fine by me. I’ll play your silly game.”
“Good. It’s not a silly game, though.”
“Whatever.”
“Will you be ready?” Tetsu asked sitting on Hyde’s bed.
“I will. I already am, in fact. We could do this right now.” Hyde replied and nervously lit a cigarette.
“Good. That will keep you from being jealous for stupid reasons, then. The things I have to do to...”
“Hold it for a second.” Hyde spat narrowing his eyes. “Now that you mention silly games, it reminds me... Where did you go today for lunch? Huh? I was gonna invite you for lunch! You’ve been with that bitch?!”
Tetsu blinked for a second. “Huh?”
“Where the fuck where you, you slime ball?!” Hyde screamed in irritation.
“I went... uh... for lunch. To... hmmm... Mc. Donald’s.”
“With her?!” Hyde interrogated him fuming.
“No I--- uh...” Tetsu stopped for a second. “Well, yeah.” He finally nodded. He didn’t want to tell Hyde about his meeting with Sakura. In fact, he didn’t even want to bring it up.
“Why?! Why?! Moron!!” Hyde screamed on top of his lungs. “You think you can two-time me?!”
“Eto... What? I feel like I’ve missed several episodes in the shoujo manga of your life, man...”
Hyde jumped angrily on the bed and started punching the pillow.
“Yup. Evidently I missed like 2 or 3 tankoubon.” Tetsu nodded. “Brat...”
“This is totally stupid. You must think I am an idiot. Tonight will be a waste of time... forget it. That is not what I want. You are such an asshole and you are taking me for granted, and you think I’m stupid, and...”
“Don’t say that, Hai-chan!” Tetsu protested and tried to keep his friend from knocking the pillow unconscious.
“Maybe it’s better to forget this... who cares about me? Right? I’m a whore!” Hyde tried to laugh cynically, while trying to keep tears at bay.
“I do.” Tetsu replied caressing Hyde’s head. “I mean, even if you are so impossibly jealous, I do care about you.”
“You don’t. This is nothing but a game for you. I should have known I couldn’t trust someone who gets the idea that ripples can impress people.”
“Haido... what’s going on? Why are you so mad? I thought you’d be happy... Man, I can’t believe you are still jealous... I got your crush to come here!”
“Happy, yeah... You know, Tet-chan? I wanted to have something for me. Something truly, really, for me. Something I don’t have to share with others, or hide from others, or whatever. But I suppose it’s not something I deserve. I’m not sore about it, I’m sore because you made me think that I could have it, and that’s something very rotten to do to a friend.”
“Translate to human language, please?” Tetsu asked raising an eyebrow.
“How would you understand...? How would I even start to explain to you?”
“Er... by the beginning...?” Tetsu probed and shrugged.
“Forever idiot...” Hyde mumbled. “OK... let’s tell you a story and see if you can understand what I mean.
I wanted to have something for myself, something I don’t have to share with anyone... something precious, like a treasure.”
“Uh-huh...” Tetsu nodded still clueless.
“I don’t own many things...” Hyde started looking away from Tetsu. Suddenly the younger boy’s eyes were too painfully inquisitive to him.
“Well... I don’t own much either, Hai---...”
“When I left my uncle’s home, I couldn’t bring many things. I only had a backpack with me... Anyway, it’s not like I really had many things that I wanted to take along either.”
“I understand...” Tetsu muttered and nodded. He felt Hyde was going to deliver him one of those precious and scarce moments of honesty.
“I... thought I should take things that really mattered to me, and things that’d help me survive. So, I picked some food, some money, my id, some clothes... and my doll.”
“I think it was a wise choice, Hai-chan...”
“Un. It was. I wish I could have taken some pics of my parents... but I didn’t have any.”
Tetsu didn’t know how to reply, so he simply nodded.
“But the doll... it always reminds me of them. So in a way, it’s a little like having a picture. So, sometimes, I can close my eyes and imagine I’m at home. Everything is but a bad dream. Mom and dad are there, and I’m just playing on their bed while mom brushes her hair... we are both waiting for daddy to return home. Mommy has cooked something really yummy. It’s the afternoon... and I’m there... and they are there too... Do you understand, Tetsu? My doll is everything that’s warm and beautiful! I wouldn’t just give it to anyone...”
Tetsu couldn’t stand it anymore and he threw himself against Hyde hugging him tightly.
“Hai-chan... you are a lucky boy... You don’t know how lucky you are. Because you can still indulge in sweet memories of your parents to warm your coldest days.
I wish I could do that, Hai-chan, but I can’t. My parents were bastards to me. And if I tried to find any solace in their memory, I’d only find more grief, more pain, more resentment against them. I wish I had ever been loved like that... I wish I could remember love... I wouldn’t be seeking for it blindly... without knowing what it is like.”
Hyde turned and hugged Tetsu squeezing him.
“That’s the point, Tet-chan. We are two grains of sand in the same desert. Can’t you see it? Couldn’t you tell when I gave you the doll? That’s why I’m here. I’m here for you and I’ll never give up on you. I won’t leave you alone, I won’t let you starve and freeze, and I definitely won’t share you with others...”
“Hai-chan, don’t start... I’m being serious here, and you are trying to convince me that I shouldn’t have a crush only because you haven’t gotten a date with yours yet...”
“No, Tet-chan... You don’t understand, and it’s hard for me to say it openly.
Listen... I’ll always hold you. I’ll be your memories of love and family, Tet-chan. Do you consider you can think of me when you need thoughts to warm your cold days?”
“Un...” Tetsu nodded within the tight embrace.
They spent several minutes in silence holding each other and tightly.
“You know, Tet-chan? I’m gonna tell you the truth...” Hyde broke the silence.
“Huh?”
“Yeah... all this time I’ve been telling you that this job is just great, that I enjoy it and all... It’s a lie, Tet-chan...”
“I know that...”
“I’ve been lying to you...”
“It’s OK, Hai-chan. You don’t--”
“I hate this job, but I couldn’t do anything other than this! I was also alone on the streets, freezing and hungering some time ago. I thought I would die, and I didn’t want to die. Dying would have been like giving my aunt and uncle what they had wished. They wanted me dead, and I didn’t want to please them. I wanted to survive... I wanted to show them...”
“Hai-chan... don’t cry because of them. Daijobu... they are no longer a part of your life...”
“They’ll always be! If I’m here, it’s because of them after all! They should have been better family to me! I was just a kid! Nothing was my fault!”
“I know, Hai-chan. You are absolutely right. They were wrong, not you. And you ARE still a kid.”
“It was a spring night... when I met this guy. It was rather warm for spring and I was trying to collect some coins to go to public baths. I reeked of sewer. I was crying and begging to everyone. I didn’t use to do it with your dignity, you know? I was crying desperately and pulling from their sleeves begging for a coin or two... And this guy spotted me... he offered me money in exchange for a blowjob. I wasn’t sure what it was he wanted but I said yeah. The money was tempting... it was enough for a warm bath, food and maybe something else...”
“What a bastard, that guy. I wish you had met the guys at the station...”
“Don’t talk nonsense. In a way, he saved me...”
“No, he didn’t! He condemned you!”
“He liked what I had done to him and paid me promptly.” Hyde kept telling his story without raising his eyes to meet Tetsu’s. “A few days later, he looked for me and he connected me with kachou...”
“From bad to worse...”
“Kachou was my instructor... and he taught with example. I knew what he was doing wasn’t very different from what my uncle and cousin had done to me... but, he promised a pay. That was new. He gave me lodging, a warm bed, food... and I started to work.
I was scared in the beginning... and later, I found out it was my fear what attracted the men that hired my services.
They loved the fact that I looked so innocent, so helpless...
But I wouldn’t let things overcome me, Tet-chan... I didn’t want to die... I didn’t want those bastards I have for family to rejoice in my death the way they had rejoiced in my parents’ death...
So, I had to raise my head and fight to survive... I became really good at this... but still, Tet-chan... that doesn’t mean I like it.
I like the financial security it gives me... but I don’t like the job...
Some of these men are really gross. They touch me everywhere, they lick me everywhere... they do things to me... disgusting things...”
“Hai-chan!” Tetsu sighed and squeezed Hyde tighter. “Give up this job, Hai-chan... I’m gonna find you a better one...”
“No, Tet-chan, you don’t understand... I can’t give up this job. Kachou will track me down and hunt me. He will do far worse things to me than whatever the gross men do if I try to run away... I can’t give it up, Tet-chan... Not until I’m at least 18... I guess I started young... I was only 11...”
“Haido, that can’t be...”
“It is. Sometimes I wonder what the real thing is like. This job has covered for some stuff... but I’ve lost many things in exchange. I never thought there would be a day when I wondered about things like... what is it like when people have sex cuz they love each other. When caresses are truly wanted, not granted for money. That feeling people talk about... Will I ever find out, Tet-chan? I must know a pretty good share about sex already... I just don’t know love yet. In that, I’m just like you... I wonder... Is it true they are better when they go together?”
“I’m not the right person to tell, Hai-chan... but I suppose it must be true...”
“You know...? I was dreaming all this time that I would find out with my crush...”
“Wah! Hai-chan! Don’t rush things, na! Don’t go straight to sex! And if he asks you to give up this job, please do so.”
“Ne... I’m a baka. I think... I’ll do it if my crush asks me to. I don’t know... it wouldn’t be easy.”
“The power of love, right?”
“Yeah.” Hyde nodded chuckling nervously.
Tetsu smiled with confidence. “Well, I’m sure when you find the words and the courage to tell him about your feelings, he will be very happy to hear you... and possibly, he will accept you...” Tetsu said and winked.
“Ha... Finally you understand...” Hyde said looking away and blushing.
“I think so.” Tetsu said and nudged him.
“And you are pushing me to say it openly, na...”
“Yes. I think you should.” Tetsu said nodding.
“Etoo.... well, I...”
“Think of the words.” Tetsu interrupted “And bear this in mind, Hai-chan... I won’t let you down. I never will.”
“You... you...?” Hyde opened his eyes big. His heart racing.
“You are bound to a surprise later today, as I told you. Just gather the courage to speak frankly.” Tetsu got up and wiping tears from his cheek with the back of his hand, he bent to kiss Hyde’s forehead and then grabbed his bag. He turned on his heels and walked out of the apartment.
Hyde remained in his position, aghast, gaping.
“You are the one I love, Tet-chan.” He murmured. “I wish I could have conjured up the words before you had left.”

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